FILM AS PROPAGANDA – ART, TRASH, HEROISM, TREASON, EVIL?

The two biggest movie events of the year, and nothing will come close for quite some time, are two slavishly produced propaganda movies made by charismatic polar opposite true
believers; Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” and Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11″…



Posted on November 1, 2004 by

MEMO TO SANDLER ET AL: STOP REMAKING GOOD MOVIES

I flatly admit that I’m so bored and lonely that I’ll go out and see whatever piece of filth you puke out after breakfast tomorrow morning. Is it too much to ask that your next horrible movie effort be more original than that episode of “Gilligan’s Island” where the castaways are seconds away from being rescued before Gilligan accidently screws the pooch to hilarious effect?



Posted on February 5, 2004 by

LET’S KILL THE OSCARS: MY VOTE FOR JOHNNY DEPP

So in the sprit of George C., my choice as Best Actor for 2003 is someone who has no chance in hell of winning. Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl…”



Posted on January 29, 2004 by

REMEMBERING REIFENSTAHL

Leni Riefenstahl’s blackball seems incredibly cruel in an age where teen rapist Roman Polanski is personally delivered his Academy Award by Harrison Ford and accused child molester Woody Allen is given a standing ovation at that very ceremony…



Posted on September 11, 2003 by

RETHINKING “SID & NANCY”

FUNNIEST TALE OF A MORAL DESCENT INTO HEROIN OBLIVION EVER! I’m officially taking back everything I ever said about Chloe Webb. Recently I’ve been reading some books about the 70s Punk Movement and I just re-watched the movie about the Sex Pistols, “The Filth and the Fury.” From everything I can tell, Nancy Spungeon really was that stupid and annoying…



Posted on September 18, 2002 by

RETHINKING “SID & NANCY”

One of the scenes that I used to make fun of in “Sid & Nancy” was the young lovers phoning up Nancy’s mother with the good news that they had just gotten married. I thought it was a deficiency in the film that this scene always made me laugh my head off. There’s nothing worse […]



Posted on September 18, 2002 by

ROLLERBALL

3 Stars
Year Released: 1975
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 123 minutes

THE ORIGINAL! James Caan plays Jonathon E., the Michæl Jordan of “Rollerball.” Admit it, if this sport were on TV tomorrow, you would watch it…


Posted on February 8, 2002 by

H.O.T.S.

3 Stars
Year Released: 1979
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 93 minutes

FILM THREAT’S TRIBUTE TO THE SUPER BOWL! There is a shower scene in the first 20 seconds of “H.O.T.S.” and in its wake come nude pie fights, nude skydiving, a fat opera chick falling in the pool, nude bathing with seals, a token fat chick who isn’t allowed to sunbathe in a bikini, putting out on the first date, muscle cars, jock strap raids, a wet T-shirt contest, girl fights, beach bonfires, itching powder, bald naked chicks and a legendary strip football game…


Posted on February 4, 2002 by

THE LONGEST YARD

4 Stars
Year Released: 1974
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 123 minutes

FILM THREAT’S TRIBUTE TO THE SUPER BOWL! This movie does for football and good sportsmanship what Paul Newman’s “Slapshot” did for hockey…


Posted on February 3, 2002 by

BRIAN’S SONG

4 Stars
Year Released: 1971
MPAA Rating: G
Running Time: 120 minutes

FILM THREAT’S TRIBUTE TO THE SUPER BOWL! “Brian’s Song” can melt the hearts of the coldest, most emotionally stunted men in the universe, leaving them sobbing in delicate, weeping hordes of sadness…


Posted on February 3, 2002 by

WAKE UP! DO THE RIGHT THING RECONSIDERED

Why Mookie tossed the garbage can and what people didn’t learn from the best film of the last 20 years…



Posted on January 24, 2002 by

ALI

3 Stars
Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 127 minutes

IN THEATERS! ANOTHER THREAT WRITER’S OPINION! Michæl Mann’s Ali is too concerned with cramming all of the benchmarks of his career into three hours to take the time to understand the true joy and compassion of the man…


Posted on December 27, 2001 by

MALLRATS (TV version)

5 Stars
Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 90 minutes

AIRING ON FX! THE TV VERSION ROCKS! Kevin Smith, like Mamet and Tarantino before him, loves to pepper his dialogue with rhythmically intense profanity. This has to be the worst-dubbed version of an R-rated movie of all time…


Posted on December 7, 2001 by

ISHTAR

2 Stars
Year Released: 1987
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 107 minutes

FILM THREAT’S TRIBUTE TO BUDDY MOVIES! Who would have ever thought back in the day that Warren Beatty would prove to be brilliant as a rapper and such a disaster as a white bread singer?


Posted on December 5, 2001 by

48 HRS

4 Stars
Year Released: 1982
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 97 minutes

FILM THREAT’S TRIBUTE TO BUDDY MOVIES! Not many people ever get to be the coolest man on the planet, but for a while in the early ’80s, it was Eddie Murphy…


Posted on December 5, 2001 by

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