THICKER THAN WATER: THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, PART I

2 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 96 minutes

PHILADELPHIA TERROR FILM FESTIVAL FEATURE! It seems as though part way through production someone on set looked around and said, “This is all rather silly, isn’t it?�


Posted on October 8, 2009 by

THE CURSE OF MICAH ROOD

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 35 minutes

PHILADELPHIA TERROR FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! I am not sure I have ever heard a worse attempt at an Irish accent. The guy who voices the leprechaun in the old Lucky Charms cereal commercials is more convincing.


Posted on October 8, 2009 by

HOLE IN THE GROUND

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 40 minutes

Like Zack’s life, this film has little real purpose.


Posted on October 4, 2009 by

PIRATE RADIO USA

3 Stars
Year Released: 2006
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 84 minutes

This fast-paced documentary is ostensibly about outdated radio piracy, but by the end it spirals into a blunt indictment of several ways the American society and government are falling apart.


Posted on September 29, 2009 by

UNVERWUNDBAR (INVULNERABLE)

3 Stars
Year Released: 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 25 minutes

Rather than being a coming of age epic, or even a full coming of age story, “Unverwundbar” is simply a coming of age vignette.


Posted on September 25, 2009 by

LAST HOUSE IN THE WOODS (IL BOSCO FUORI)

1 Stars
Year Released: 2007
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 85 minutes

I am not sure what inspires young filmmakers to continually rehash this same tired nonsense, but if you’re going to do so, at least bring something new to it.


Posted on September 22, 2009 by

COOKIES AND CREAM

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 90 minutes

“Cookies and Cream,” at its best, feels like a sophomore student film, and not one that might have been graded particularly well.


Posted on September 21, 2009 by

HA-SODOT (THE SECRETS)

3 Stars
Year Released: 2007
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 127 minutes

A layered and complex story that deals, ultimately, with feminism in 21st-century Orthodox Judaism.


Posted on September 19, 2009 by

ECOUTE LE TEMPS (FISSURES) (DVD)

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2006
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 83 minutes

A languidly paced supernatural thriller that lacks motivation.


Posted on September 14, 2009 by

INDYFANS AND THE QUEST FOR FORTUNE AND GLORY

2 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 80 minutes

No one nowhere has anything interesting to say.


Posted on September 10, 2009 by

MASS ROMANTIC

0 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 111 minutes

A largely – and tragically – improvised film.


Posted on September 5, 2009 by

THE INNOCENT KILLERS (DVD)

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 122 minutes

I was unable to detect much innocence in the characters: they’re all cops, killers, cop killers, and criminal kingpins. The innocence might reside behind the scenes: the cast members innocent to the art of acting, as are the lighting people and the scriptwriters to their respective crafts.


Posted on September 1, 2009 by

EL SEGUNDO

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2006
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 89 minutes

As low-budget indie Tex-Mex mystical adventure films go (and really this is a booming genre, right?), “El Segundo” is at least modestly entertaining.


Posted on August 29, 2009 by

THE END OF ALL THINGS

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 30 minutes

A shaky camera whip-panning back and forth during conversations drags an attempt at a documentarian feel into confusion.


Posted on August 27, 2009 by

WAITIN’

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 14 minutes

The short “Waitin’” reveals itself as a glimpse into the mind of someone who is hurting, and through its ambiguity, the film allows viewers to project their own experiences onto Sally’s confusion.


Posted on July 14, 2009 by

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