WICKER PARK

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 115 minutes

IN THEATERS! This movie has all the elements of a thriller or suspense film without actually using them. It’s like the suburban husband who buys the latest set of shop tools but hasn’t the foggiest idea what to do with them once they get to his garage…


Posted on September 6, 2004 by

THE DOOR IN THE FLOOR

1 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 111 minutes

He was caught masturbating to her underwear…


Posted on August 15, 2004 by

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

1 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 116 minutes

IN THEATERS! “Fahrenheit 9/11” is a film full of hate. Hate for Bush. Hate for the war on terror. Hate for pretty much everyone but Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden…


Posted on June 27, 2004 by

WHITE CHICKS

2 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 105 minutes

IN THEATERS! In some ways, this movie is like having sex with Carmen Electra with a yeast infection. It can be fun at times, and there are some genuinely good things there – but you’re gonna have to go through some pretty nasty stuff to get to them…


Posted on June 27, 2004 by

THE STEPFORD WIVES

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 93 minutes

IN THEATERS! So, would I like to trade in my wife for the latest Stepford model? No thank you. But I’d gladly take a shot at refurbishing Frank Oz into a competent filmmaker again…


Posted on June 14, 2004 by

KEEPING EDISON’S “FRANKENSTEIN” ALIVE

A new graphic novel has been made of the first “Frankenstein” film ever made. Produced by Thomas Edison in 1910, this silent film version of “Frankenstein” was originally believed lost…



Posted on May 19, 2004 by

ELLA ENCHANTED

2 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 95 minutes

IN THEATERS! Strip away the goofy costume choices, the silly “Shrek” rip-offs and the schmaltzy overacting, and there is the core of a decent fairy tale romance…


Posted on April 9, 2004 by

PINS AND NEEDLES

3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 81 minutes

“Pins and Needles” deals with the issue of homosexuality in a very natural way…


Posted on April 7, 2004 by

HOME ON THE RANGE

4 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 76 minutes

IN THEATERS! The strength of “Home on the Range” is how much it throws at you at one time. It doesn’t wait for the audience to laugh, but moves from joke to joke fast enough that I’m sure I missed some things…


Posted on April 2, 2004 by

SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 93 minutes

Matthew Lillard is really the only funny thing in the film. Again, he nails a perfect Shaggy impression and often steals the scenes from the now mundane CGI Scooby…


Posted on March 26, 2004 by

SECRET WINDOW

1 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 100 minutes

IN THEATERS! Perhaps if Depp and Turturro had switched roles, it would have been better. I think I could have stomached Depp’s cheesy Mississippi drawl better than I did Tuturro’s. But there still would have been the story problems…


Posted on March 18, 2004 by

DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 86 minutes

IN THEATERS! The portrayal of the Cuban people in this film is one of the most glaring stereotypes I’ve seen in a long time. Shown as happy, singing paupers in the street, their only escape is dancing in clubs…


Posted on March 1, 2004 by

BROKEN LIZARD’S CLUB DREAD

3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 105 minutes

IN THEATERS! Will “Club Dread” go down in history as the frat house favorite that “Super Troopers” did? I enjoyed “Club Dread” more, mainly because it’s a goofy slasher flick as much as it is a jiggle-fest screwball comedy…


Posted on February 29, 2004 by

THE DREAMERS

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: NC-17
Running Time: 127 minutes

IN THEATERS! This is about the awakening of the adolescent consciousness that happened during the love generation. Also, young hippie-wannabes in college are gonna love the film – especially if they wish they could have been alive in the 1960s…


Posted on February 23, 2004 by

COMIC BOOK: THE MOVIE (DVD)

4 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 106 minutes

Ultimately, “Comic Book: The Movie” isn’t a great feat in improv or comedy. But it has one big thing going for it… It’s a movie for comic book fans made by comic book fans…


Posted on February 22, 2004 by

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