THE LION KING (DVD)

4.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: G
Running Time: 0 minutes

“The Lion King” DVD is one of those rare gems that is worth the buy…


Posted on November 12, 2003 by

ELF

3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 95 minutes

IN THEATERS! The biggest suspension of disbelief comes not from seeing the six-foot plus Will Ferrell as an elf, but rather seeing the grumpy ex-Lou Grant as Santa Claus…


Posted on November 11, 2003 by

BROTHER BEAR

3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: G
Running Time: 85 minutes

IN THEATERS! For what it’s worth, I took my kids to see this film – a 2 1/2-year-old and a 4-month-old. They both loved it. So, this bodes well for the holiday movie audience…


Posted on November 2, 2003 by

ALIEN: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT

5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 117 minutes

IN THEATERS! If you’re going to see this just for the added scenes, don’t bother. There are very few of them, and most have already been released on the 20th anniversary DVD a few years back. The real gem of this release is the chance to hear the remastered soundtrack in a THX-certified theater. Parker has some hilarious background lines that you can never hear on your television at home…


Posted on October 31, 2003 by

GOOD BOY!

3 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 88 minutes

IN THEATERS! It will probably go down in American cinema history with about as much reverence as “The Cat From Outer Space,” but for the time being it’s a good bet for the kids on a Saturday afternoon…


Posted on October 26, 2003 by

SCARY MOVIE 3

3 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 90 minutes

IN THEATERS! Just take “The Ring,” “Signs,” “8 Mile” and “The Matrix,” throw them in a blender, and you have the story of an alien invasion, an evil girl at the bottom of the well, a wannabe white rapper and some pretentious speeches…


Posted on October 25, 2003 by

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

2 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 90 minutes

IN THEATERS…If this doesn’t illustrate what a screwhead Bey is, I don’t know what does. He wanted to remake the movie because of the name? Not to pay homage to the original. Not to scare the bejesus out of people. Not to even do something commercially appealing. He wanted to remake it because he coveted the name…


Posted on October 18, 2003 by

TOM SAVINI: A REAL SEX MACHINE

Tom Savini took a few minutes to espouse on the joys and challenges of independent film, how he thinks he will be remembered and his thoughts on Kevin Costner’s appearance on “Inside the Actor’s Studio…”



Posted on October 14, 2003 by

OUT OF TIME

3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 105 minutes

IN THEATERS! “Out of Time” is not the greatest film of the year, and it will most likely be forgotten until you see it on a Saturday afternoon presentation on USA in about five years…


Posted on October 5, 2003 by

DUPLEX

4 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 97 minutes

IN THEATERS! Part of the charm of “Duplex” is that it taps into our own nastiness. Everyone’s had someone in their life that they wish would just keel over. Have we hired professional hit men to take care of these people? Hopefully not…


Posted on September 29, 2003 by

SECONDHAND LIONS

4.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 100 minutes

IN THEATERS! The film manages to walk a tightrope between a warm, friendly family coming-of-age piece and a swashbuckling adventure in flashbacks to Garth and Hub’s earlier years. Even though I went to the theater in a bad mood, I found myself feeling really good when I got out…


Posted on September 22, 2003 by

COLD CREEK MANOR

1 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 118 minutes

IN THEATERS! The online advertisements for “Cold Creek Manor” invites surfers to visit their website and vote on the scariest clip. I’ll tell you what clip in the film creeped ME out the most. It was the gratuitous butt shot of Sharon Stone in pink panties. She’s gone to pot almost as bad as Frank Langella has…


Posted on September 20, 2003 by

UNDERWORLD

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 121 minutes

IN THEATERS! “Underworld” tries so, so hard to be “The Matrix” with slow motion gun battles and long black leather coats. But there’s no heart behind the action. “The Matrix” was clearly a labor of love from two comic book fans. “Underworld” looks too much like a bad copy…


Posted on September 19, 2003 by

CABIN FEVER

4 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 94 minutes

IN THEATERS! “Cabin Fever” is the second truly innovative horror flick to make its way to American cinemas this year. Sure, we had to deal with stinkers like “Darkness Falls” and “Jeepers Creepers 2,” but 2003 has also given us contemporary classics like “28 Days Later” and now “Cabin Fever…”


Posted on September 14, 2003 by

ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 101 minutes

IN THEATERS! My biggest beef with “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” is that the plot was extremely murky and convoluted. There are so many double-crosses and twists that it all turns out as a mess in the end. The plot is like an accidental “Mulholland Dr…”


Posted on September 12, 2003 by

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