REGARDING CHRIS FARLEY…

REGARDING CHRIS FARLEY…

A long time ago, June of 2006 to be exact, I wrote a story about Chris Farley. It was a rather mean-spirited article, which attacked the fans of Chris Farley, and one I almost forgot about. A week or so later, I wrote another article about him and how I may have been wrong. Regardless, […]



Posted on July 9, 2007 by

THE END OF FILM CRITICISM IS UPON US (SOON ANYWAY)…

THE END OF FILM CRITICISM IS UPON US (SOON ANYWAY)…

The world of film criticism lost one of its most notable players this past weekend. Joel Siegel, critic for Good Morning America, has sadly left this world. That isn’t to say I was much of a fan. I never actually followed his reviews, as I found them too televisioney for me (which is to be […]



Posted on July 2, 2007 by

ALL ABOUT UWE…

ALL ABOUT UWE…

Uwe Boll is no doubt one of the most infamous filmmakers of our generation. The minute someone watches 47 seconds of any film he’s made, they automatically want to hunt him down and destroy him. He’s so bad that it seems people forgot about that other video game filmmaker, Paul WS Anderson (Mortal Kombat and […]



Posted on June 28, 2007 by

“EVAN ALMIGHTY” SINKS… MAYBE THERE IS A GOD?

“EVAN ALMIGHTY” SINKS… MAYBE THERE IS A GOD?

Somewhere in the magical land of Hollywood exists a person who dreamed of making a sequel to Tom Shadyac’s Bruce Almighty from 2003. He dreamed of it so much in fact, that he could barely sleep a wink at night. “How can I make this happen?” he thought to himself often, as he would walk […]



Posted on June 25, 2007 by

DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE

2.5 Stars
Year Released: 2007
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 86 minutes

About 73% of the visuals in this film involve crotch shots, slow motion crotch shots, butt shots, slow motion fights with girls in bikinis, bikini girls fighting in the rain, and more crotch shots…


Posted on June 23, 2007 by

“DO THE RIGHT THING” FINALLY MAKES IT ONTO THE AFI TOP 100

“DO THE RIGHT THING” FINALLY MAKES IT ONTO THE AFI TOP 100

Finally. How this film didn’t make it to the original list from 1998 is beyond comprehension. Especially since Dances with Wolves was on the list. [youtube]w7UZ9g8wvFI[/youtube] Sadly, The Sixth Sense also made the cut while Giant and Fargo got ousted.



Posted on June 22, 2007 by

EVAN ALMIGHTY

1 Stars
Year Released: 2007
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 95 minutes

Perhaps due to its Christian themes, Universal just didn’t see a problem forking over such a ridiculous amount but do you think Hollywood will ever have the balls to pump $175,000,000 into a comedy relating to the Qur’an?


Posted on June 22, 2007 by

BITCH

5 Stars
Year Released: 2007
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 15 minutes

2007 AFI FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! “Bitch” is a devious and angry little short, and let me not forget to mention brilliantly hilarious too, about the perils of working in a so-called “hip” record store…


Posted on June 14, 2007 by

“DIE HARD V” WILL BE BETTER THAN “DIE HARD 5″

“DIE HARD V” WILL BE BETTER THAN “DIE HARD 5″

I wonder how many of you out there just caught that old Beavis and Butthead reference. If you did, kudos. Those folks over at Cinematical report that Bruce Willis is open to doing another Die Hard film. He also admits his disappointment for the second film. Not really a shocker, as many Hard fans think […]



Posted on June 4, 2007 by

FRAN EATON HATES “SHREK” AND TRANSGENDERISM…

FRAN EATON HATES “SHREK” AND TRANSGENDERISM…

Can somebody tell me what year we are in? None of this should come to a surprise to anybody but there are still people out there who just don’t get it. They take simple kids properties and turn them into something they aren’t. Remember a couple years ago when some crazy conservatives labeled SpongeBob a […]



Posted on June 1, 2007 by

WAS “APOCALYPTO” SHOT WITH YOUR MOTHER’S CAMCORDER?

WAS “APOCALYPTO” SHOT WITH YOUR MOTHER’S CAMCORDER?

That whacky Mel Gibson… I am about two hours into this beast and I have one giant question. Why does this movie look like shit? Seriously, the cinematography is so straight-to-video awful, that I find myself having a hard time concentrating on the rest of the film. Especially when things were moving. HD sucks it […]



Posted on May 31, 2007 by

5 FILMS THAT SOMEHOW SLIPPED THEIR WAY INTO MY NETFLIX QUEUE

5 FILMS THAT SOMEHOW SLIPPED THEIR WAY INTO MY NETFLIX QUEUE

The world of video rental service hasn’t quite been the same since Netflix introduced their service, which involves red envelopes arriving in your mail box complete with a DVD inside, and the world is better off for it. One of the oddest things about this service, and I am sure many members can attest to […]



Posted on May 30, 2007 by

ROBOCOP 2 IS SOLD OUT BUT DIE HARD 2 ISN’T…

ROBOCOP 2 IS SOLD OUT BUT DIE HARD 2 ISN’T…

July 4th, 1990. I was 9-years-old at this time and I was kicking it with my dad. My dad loved taking me to the cinema. On this particular weekend, he was super-pumped. He had the choice of seeing Die Hard 2 or RoboCop 2. “Which one would you rather see?” my dad asked me. Are […]



Posted on May 25, 2007 by

WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER THE SECOND “PIRATES” FILM?

WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER THE SECOND “PIRATES” FILM?

I went to a midnight screening of the second Pirates of the Caribbean on the eve of its official release and couldn’t remember a single thing about it when I woke up the next day. I am not sure if it was the cans of Foster’s me and my friends brought with us into the […]



Posted on May 24, 2007 by

SHREK THE THIRD

“Shrek the Third” is somewhat of an improvement over the last one, though it still never veers off familiar terrain. Essentially, if you’ve only seen one “Shrek” film, you’ve seen them all…



Posted on May 19, 2007 by

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