Film Threat » Pete Vonder Haar

S&M LAWN CARE

Pete Vonder Haar — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:55:58 +0000

Potts and the rest of the Singletree crew face an uphill battle against the Drakes of the film world, but if there's anything resembling justice in the world of cinema, they'll get their chance...

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deadCENTER FILM FESTIVAL: TEN YEARS, MAN!

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:10:36 +0000

The fest has grown from screening a handful of films over the course one weekend back in 2001 to showcasing over 100 movies and shorts over five days and attracting filmmakers from across the globe. In this, its tenth year, deadCENTER is firing on all cylinders and is -- in my humble opinion -- one of the best film festivals around. Period.

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deadCENTER FILM FESTIVAL: TEN YEARS, MAN! (PART 2)

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:09:23 +0000

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deadCENTER FILM FESTIVAL: TEN YEARS, MAN! (PART 3)

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:08:36 +0000

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deadCENTER FILM FESTIVAL: TEN YEARS, MAN! (PART 4)

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:07:31 +0000

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deadCENTER FILM FESTIVAL: TEN YEARS, MAN! (PART 5)

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:06:03 +0000

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STAR TREK

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

LOVING THE ABRAM-IZATION! The new "Star Trek" is a seriously entertaining action flick with little in the way of soul-searching or philosophy.

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X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“X-Men Origins: Wolverine” has some serious problems. The biggest is that, aside from the dark and mysterious past, the character of Wolverine isn’t all that interesting.

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FIGHTING

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Maybe a more interesting film would have Shawn examining the root causes underlying his fury and coming to terms with them in an adult fashion? Nah, probably not.

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SIGHT UNSEEN – CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

TOO HOT FOR THE CRITICS! When last we see them, God and Chelios are pulling an Eiffel Tower on Ria, while the entire East Asian landmass burns with holy fire.

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FAST & FURIOUS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You’d get the same level of excitement watching “T.J. Hooker” reruns.

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THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

All of this proves Iliadis has no interest in larger questions of human nature, but simply wants to give us that sweet payback money shot.

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WATCHMEN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Is the movie visually arresting? Certainly, but it’s also glossy and ham-handed where the source material was unvarnished and introspective...

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EXPLICIT ILLS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Dano and top-billed Rosario Dawson are the most effective. Typically, they also have the least amount of screen time...

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WALL-E

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

OSCAR WINNER FOR BEST ANIMATED FILM 2009 What makes "WALL-E" so impressive isn't merely the graphics, which we’ve almost come to take for granted after 13 years of excellence, or the number of movies referenced, it's the minimalist nature of the script...

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THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

OSCAR WINNER FOR BEST VISUAL EFFECTS, MAKEUP AND ART DIRECTION 2009 “Benjamin Button” is pretty much just “Gump” with better cinematography.

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THE DARK KNIGHT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

OSCAR WINNER FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR 2009 Forgotten are the clowning geriatrics of Jack Nicholson’s version, for Ledger makes the Joker his, imbuing the character with such menace and genuine insanity I finally got a sense of what talent he really had...

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FRIDAY THE 13TH

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The question isn't whether Nispel's remake is better than the 1980 original (it isn't) but whether anything original is brought into the mix.

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HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

FILM THREATS SEVEN DAYS OF VD!!! It's date night and you gotta impress your lovely lady. What could be better than a star studded rom-com!?! Answer: ANYTHING!

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NOTORIOUS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

...the overall impression we’re left with is that Biggie was something of a shithead...

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THE SLEAZE PARADE: “SHOCK FESTIVAL” AUTHOR STEPHEN ROMANO

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

BEST OF 2008! Stephen Romano's illustrated, fictional history book "Shock Festival" is a painstaking and lovingly crafted tribute to grindhouse movies of yore, containing hundreds of glorious and gore-spattered full color images that give true testimony to the depth of Romano's obsession...

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MARLEY & ME

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t care how great your writing gig is, when an animal is endangering your family, inadvertently or not, you either turn the dog into an outdoor pet or you "take a walk" with him and your 20-gauge.

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DEADCENTER 2008: THE NAKED AND THE DEADCENTER

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

BEST OF 2008! "Everything was perfect. The end." That’s the gist of the article Kim Haywood, Chief Operations Officer of the 8th annual deadCENTER Film Festival suggested I write...

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DOES SIZE MATTER? THE LONGEST TITLES IN MOVIE HISTORY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

BEST OF 2008! Two of the movies opening this week are on the short list for longest movie title of 2008. Does title length denote box office success? Does size really matter? Film Threat's Pete Vonder Haar crunches the numbers to find out...

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TWILIGHT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The release of “Twilight” achieves two significant objectives; not only has Stephanie Meyer’s ponderous salute to teen abstinence and patriarchal supremacy been given physical form, but it also marks the endgame for what has been a decades-long castration of the vampire genre...

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MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

In Alex the Lion and Marty the Zebra, we finally have the first unabashedly gay characters in a major Hollywood animated feature...

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CHANGELING

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Jolie gets it done here, nailing down at least three Best Actress archetypes (the Stricken Mother, the Single Working Woman, and the Woman in the Nuthatch), and her performance helps overcome most of "Changeling’s" weaker elements...

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ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Miri isn’t as bad as Alyssa the Light Switch Lesbian from "Chasing Amy," but the premise – that she somehow experiences sexual and romantic awakening while fucking her best friend on camera in front of strangers, for money – is almost as insultingly unrealistic...

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HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The lo-fi nature of the first installments was always part of their charm, I realize, but a moviegoing public that made "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" #1 at the box office two weeks in a row demands more, dammit...

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THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

"The Secret Life of Bees" should have billed itself as a fairy tale, as that’s the only possible way to swallow what Prince-Bythewood and Kidd are feeding us...

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BODY OF LIES

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The depiction of international terrorism in the movies has come a long way since the likes of "Navy Seals," but you wouldn’t know it watching "Body of Lies"...

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STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The whole thing feels like a continuation of Lucas’ experiments to see how much shit his dwindling supporters will take before finally saying "enough" and moving on to adult pursuits...

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TROPIC THUNDER

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

As Kirk Lazarus, the method man who “doesn’t get out of character until they do the DVD commentary” and surgically darkens his skin to play the black lead, Downey is a wonder. I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t think they could pull this off, but he absolutely destroys...

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PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The uneven nature of the movie is thanks to the story, which sounds exactly like something you or I would come up with after spending the afternoon getting baked and watching "North by Northwest" and "Die Hard"...

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HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Del Toro once again teams up with cinematographer Guillermo Navarro to create a series of fantastical set pieces, crammed with more bizarre creatures and offhand weirdness than you can possibly process in one viewing...

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GONZO: THE LIFE AND WORK OF DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

IN LIMITED RELEASE! Perhaps the most depressing aspect of "Gonzo" is the realization that Thompson’s suicide, while presaged by the Good Doctor himself, was at least partly attributable to George W. Bush’s 'election' in 2000...

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HANCOCK

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

It’s unfortunate for Sony that it felt the need to gut the movie, likely removing backstory that might have coaxed us into giving a shit about these characters...

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FAMILIAR STRANGERS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Of course, there’s a flipside to making your family “dramedy” more down-to-earth, for while it doesn’t have as far to fall if it bombs, it isn’t going to reach such dizzying heights if it’s really good...

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WANTED

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“Wanted’s” greatest asset is director Timur Bekmambetov’s (in his English-language directorial debut) willingness to acknowledge the film’s utter goofiness...

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HENRY MAY LONG

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Both Camargo and Barnhart appear capable of stretching themselves, it’s just too bad the script doesn’t let them...

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SEX GALAXY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

IN LIMITED RELEASE! Admittedly, the plot is a bit thin, and the script is mostly an excuse for an unrelenting series of double entendres, but the narrative is secondary to the deft way in which Davis works with his footage...

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DEADCENTER 2008: THE NAKED AND THE DEADCENTER (PART 2)

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

"A man drink like that and he don't eat...he is going to die."

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DEADCENTER 2008: THE NAKED AND THE DEADCENTER (PART 3)

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

"A man drink like that and he don't eat...he is going to die."

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OKIE NOODLING II

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL DOCUMENTARY! You realize when Webb and others talk about the way noodling represents a way of life, one revolving around spending time with your family an friends, that they’ve got a point...

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BARK OR BITE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! “Bark or Bite” is a highly amusing take on our relationship with our pets and the generally unamusing concept of starvation...

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THREE LITTLE WORDS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! Clocking in at just under ten minutes, this short from Patrick Kirk hits all the right notes and will garner knowing nods from anyone who’s been in a similar predicament...

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YEAR AT DANGER

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL DOCUMENTARY FEATURE! The movie reveals so much happening behind the scenes that I found myself wondering how the hell Metze and co-director Don Swaynos got away with it...

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THE VAULT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT! Justin Owensby’s “The Vault” feels like a teaser for a feature film...

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PRIMITIVE TECHNOLOGY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! Modern society is cold and impersonal, and has made humanity insensate and boring...

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MAKING A KILLING

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! “Making a Killing” works best when it sticks to the initial premise, though the introduction of the dramatic element doesn’t completely derail things...

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MY DEER FRIEND

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! Once you get past the initial gag, “My Deer Friend” settles into an amusing groove...

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CAPTURE CLAUS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL SHORT FILM! Santa proves to be a wily adversary, however, and certainly harder to immobilize than one might assume of a jolly old elf...

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THE STANTON FAMILY GRAVE ROBBERY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 DEADCENTER FILM FESTIVAL FEATURE FILM! Those who don’t live in the great states of Texas or Oklahoma might be unfamiliar with the often... unpleasant relations between the two states.

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YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

In truth, there’s not much point to reviewing Adam Sandler comedies. They’re almost always widely panned, and yet still manage to earn well over $100 million domestically...

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KUNG FU PANDA

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

One thing I will say about “Kung Fu Panda” is that it’s mercifully free of the kind of ephemeral pop culture-dependent humor that’s plagued every previous DreamWorks cartoon, with Black’s “Tenacious D”-isms being the most obviously out of place character elements (and even then, “skadoosh” might be my new favorite word)...

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SEX AND THE CITY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You wouldn’t spend valuable real-life time hanging out with self-absorbed idiots like this, so why on Earth would you watch a TV show (or a movie) about them?

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INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I can’t deny it: I had a shit-eating grin on my face for most of the ensuing two hours. I also can’t deny that many of the criticisms about to be leveled at Spielberg and Lucas over "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" are well-deserved...

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THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

There’s a not-so-subtle undercurrent of the White Man’s Burden in these stories. Narnian folk are either bestial (centaurs, minotaurs) or coarse (dwarves), unable to work themselves into fighting shape until the ofay monarchy shows up...

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RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: THE ADAPTATION

Pete Vonder Haar — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

The unintentionally hilarious moments are the real gold, such as when a pudgy teen Strompolos says, “It’s not the years, honey... it’s the mileage,” or when the dog gives the Nazi salute...

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WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS…

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

During the screening, I tried to come up with as many synonyms for the word “excruciating” as I could. I gave up around ten (“torturous” was the best)...

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SPEED RACER

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

It isn’t going to set the world on fire, but it’s perfectly acceptable for what it is...

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IRON MAN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

As comic book movies go, “Iron Man” is a solid entry. Downey and company help drag Favreau out of the genre holes he digs, making for a decent experience...

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BABY MAMA

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

McCullers does go after the expected low-hanging fruit; the physical discomfort of pregnancy, the abundance of stupid crap you have to buy and the shocking revelation that labor and childbirth hurt like a motherfucker...

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HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Honestly, the most shocking thing put forth in “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay” just might be the proposition that George W. Bush is actually a pretty cool guy...

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88 MINUTES

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

From each preposterous twist to each increasingly absurd action sequence, “88 Minutes” is as dumb a movie as you’re likely to see this year, and may go down as Pacino’s worst ever...

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SIGHT UNSEEN: “PROM NIGHT”

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“Prom Night,” or ”Studentbalnatt” as it’s known in the original Swedish, will go down as one of Bergman’s strangest yet most affecting works...

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STREET KINGS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“Street Kings” feels like “Lethal Weapon” mashed up with “The Shield,” only without the former’s goofy ‘80s vibe or the latter’s relative authenticity...

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THE RUINS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I guess the moral of “The Ruins” is: don’t send Jena Malone to do Kurt Russell’s job...

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LEATHERHEADS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“Leatherheads” is as trifling as Clooney’s second movie (“Good Night and Good Luck”) was noteworthy, but that’s okay...

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STOP-LOSS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Mixed messages abound, not the least of which is the juxtaposition between the military’s underhanded employment retention policies (bad) and the fact that they turn you into a one man ass-kicking machine (good)...

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DRILLBIT TAYLOR

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Now we might finally be able to pinpoint the source of Wilson’s recent depression...

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THE UPSETTER: THE LIFE & MUSIC OF LEE “SCRATCH” PERRY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 SXSW 24 BEATS PER SECOND DOCUMENTARY FEATURE! While “The Upsetter” will certainly bring wider recognition to Perry, it really only scratched the surface. Archival footage of the man is, understandably, rare, but the film skips much of the last 30 years...

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PAPER COVERS ROCK

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 SXSW NARRATIVE COMPETITION FEATURE! Being a man of simple tastes, and an American, my preferred brand of psychosis is usually manifested by some guy with a chainsaw...

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THE ORDER OF MYTHS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 SXSW SPOTLIGHT PREMIERE DOCUMENTARY FEATURE! Brown also doesn’t try to manufacture some pie-in-the-sky resolution, where blacks and whites clasp hands and start singing around the Whoville Christmas tree...

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RAINBOW AROUND THE SUN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 SXSW 24 BEATS PER SECOND FEATURE! Musically, “Rainbow Around the Sun” hits on almost all cylinders. Brown effortlessly switches from prog to country to rock, and practically every song is memorable to some extent...

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WE ARE WIZARDS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

2008 SXSW DOCUMENTARY COMPETITION FEATURE! Khoury never demonizes his subjects, even if there are a few ripe opportunities...

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PENELOPE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Caveny’s previous experience includes writing episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Mad About You,” two of the most insufferable TV shows ever made, so it’s perhaps not so surprising that even a lightweight production like this lacks even a trace of pathos...

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SEMI-PRO

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Ferrell himself relies mostly on period humor (did you know white guys had afros in the ‘70s?) and the result is more of the same brand of dumb that fuels most of the actor's output these days...

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VANTAGE POINT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Minor inconsistencies aside, and there are a lot of them, “Vantage Point” might have been acceptable as a gratuitous car chase/shoot ‘em up guilty pleasure...

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FOOL’S GOLD

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Does McConaughey have some codicil in his contract stipulating he must spend at least 51% of a movie shirtless? I mean, I've been to strip clubs with fewer exposed nipples...

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RAMBO

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

1980s Rambo might have been able to run a half-marathon without breaking a sweat, but this one looks like he could crush your skull in his bare hands...

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UNTRACEABLE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If I’m going to be lectured about humanity’s depravity and our fascination with suffering (both valid points), maybe the lesson shouldn’t be accompanied by slow-motion replays of a guy blowing his brains out or close-ups of bones sloughing flesh in a sulphuric acid bath...

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27 DRESSES

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Ultimately, the last thing we normal looking folk would hear as the firestorm engulfed us would be the mad cackling of these neo-Aryans as they made our world theirs...

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CLOVERFIELD

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If “The Blair Witch Project” made your stomach roil, you’ll be ralphing on your date’s nachos before the first reel ends...

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ONE MISSED CALL

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

For now, try to come to grips with the realization that - bad as it is - "One Missed Call" is far from the worst we're going to see...

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EL ORFANATO (THE ORPHANAGE)

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

"El Orfanato" is still a better-than-average first effort, elevated by Rueda's performance and the film's evocative look and brought back down to earth by an excessively predictable outcome...

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THE BUCKET LIST

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“The Bucket List” is further proof that even our most critically lauded thespians are eminently capable of churning out garbage...

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WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I'm not prepared to crown writers Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan (who also directed) the heirs apparent to Samuel R. Bronkowitz, but given the other options, they end up winning by default...

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SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

“Sweeney Todd” succeeds precisely because, unlike Eli Roth and his ilk, Burton and screenwriter John Logan temper the copious amounts of gore with black humor and not-so-subtle socio-economic commentary...

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4TH AND LONG

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The idea that a high school below the Mason-Dixon line would eliminate football is roughly as plausible as my becoming the next Pope...

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THE GOLDEN COMPASS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Too late I realized how much damage Pullman and his handful of moderately popular fantasy novels has done to our ancient and established belief in an omnipotent Supreme Being...

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HITMAN

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

"Hitman" lurches from action sequence to action sequence with about as much coherence as, well, a video game. Suspension of disbelief is a must, but they make it hard...

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THE MIST

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

While it isn't perfect - there's far too much standing around and watching freaky shit happen in lieu of running away, for starters - "The Mist" is a damn fine horror movie...

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LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If there’s a problem with “Love in the Time of Cholera,” it’s that it’s almost impossible to take seriously...

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FRED CLAUS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Watching this kind of talent forced to muddle through this minefield of tired and embarrassing jokes is almost enough to make you reject the baby Jesus altogether...

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LIONS FOR LAMBS

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

What put Redford over the edge is his loathing of the Bush Administration, and casting Cruise as the slippery Irving was a stroke of weird genius...

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RESERVATION ROAD

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

To quote many other fathers, including my own, I’m not mad at “Reservation Road,” I’m just disappointed in it...

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30 DAYS OF NIGHT

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Decent vampire movies are few and far between, and I’m having a hard time remembering a recent one that impressed me like “30 Days of Night”...

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GONE BABY GONE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

In the end, Affleck displays a surprisingly sure hand, and "Gone Baby Gone" largely delivers...

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ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE

Pete Vonder Haar — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Kapur also demonstrates he has no knack for shooting fight scenes, meaning the boffo climax looks less like epic warfare and more like “Shark Attack 3”...

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