IF I STAY

1 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 106 minutes

What can I say? If I were a twelve year old girl, this might seem like the greatest thing since Robert Pattinson. Clearly I’m not the target demo for this sentiment-fest…


Posted on August 27, 2014 by

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 97 minutes

Few, if any, laughs. Few, if any, new ideas. And nothing in terms of narrative we can’t see coming a kilometer away…


Posted on August 24, 2014 by

INTO THE STORM

3 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 89 minutes

This is a storm that’s far from perfect but adjust your expectations sufficiently and you just may have an experience that doesn’t blow…


Posted on August 13, 2014 by

AND SO IT GOES

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 94 minutes

Are you sitting down? I’m about to coin a new phrase and I wouldn’t want to knock you over with its culturally observant pithiness. Ready? Wrinkle porn…


Posted on July 30, 2014 by

THIRD PERSON

0 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 137 minutes

2014’s barely past its midpoint but, my friends, we have a winner: Paul Haggis’ latest is a lock for worst movie of the year…


Posted on July 16, 2014 by

TAMMY

2 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 96 minutes

I’m still shaking off the shock but there’s no getting around it: This is a road movie in which Melissa McCarthy-one of the planet’s funniest people-takes her audience down a dead end…


Posted on July 9, 2014 by

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

0 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 165 minutes

Michael Bay didn’t invent sequels, one dimensional characters, incoherent narratives, laughable dialogue, product placement or deafening, incomprehensible action sequences. He’s just made them synonymous with summer movies. The guy’s an evil genius. Everybody knows these films suck yet practically everybody sees them anyway…


Posted on July 2, 2014 by

JERSEY BOYS

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 134 minutes

Why would anyone pay good money to sit through a movie this bad?


Posted on June 25, 2014 by

22 JUMP STREET

4.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 112 minutes

I could go on about what a laugh-a-minute rabbit hole of self-referential brilliance this is…


Posted on June 17, 2014 by

EDGE OF TOMORROW

2 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 113 minutes

Liman’s the brains behind the Bourne franchise so one approaches the picture with great expectations of breathless action, depth of character and narrative dazzle. One is in for great disappointment…


Posted on June 11, 2014 by

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 116 minutes

MacFarlane gives us old cowpoke tropes viewed through a lucent new lens. A spectacularly naughty place to visit that no one in their right mind would want to live in, the West has never been this wild…


Posted on June 4, 2014 by

CHEF

4.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 115 minutes

Leisurely paced, filled with great, unforced dialogue and wall to wall with comic scenes improvised so masterfully they seem polished, “Chef” is a one-of-a-kind celebration of friendship, the bond between father and son, and fresh starts…


Posted on May 26, 2014 by

GODZILLA

1 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 123 minutes

If devastation porn is your cup of tea, this is the picture for you. That’s all it has to offer. No characters developed enough to care about, no narrative coherence, no tweaks to the genre, not so much as a suggestion of humor and zero metaphors. Just monster-on-monster, building bashing action like you haven’t seen since maybe last week…


Posted on May 19, 2014 by

JODOROWSKY’S DUNE

4.5 Stars
Year Released: 2013
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 90 minutes

The guy didn’t shoot a frame and changed the course of science fiction anyway…


Posted on May 14, 2014 by

THE SELFISH GIANT

5 Stars
Year Released: 2013
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 91 minutes

The world Barnard creates here is so alien it might as well exist in another galaxy. So unrecognizable is the dialect subtitles are often required. At the same time, the story she tells is movingly universal…


Posted on May 8, 2014 by

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