FURY

4 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 134 minutes

Do the experiences of real life soldiers have plots? No, they have outbursts of grisly, deafening, chaos punctuated by periods of waiting, joking and, occasionally, pillaging. For 134 minutes that’s exactly what Ayer gives us…


Posted on October 22, 2014 by

THE JUDGE

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 141 minutes

Two things a movie should never waste-the talent of its cast and the time of its audience…


Posted on October 15, 2014 by

ANNABELLE

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 98 minutes

There’s barely an engaging, much less original, minute in this derivative drivel about a California couple whose lives are turned upside down in 1969 by the sorts of events you’ve seen turn lives upside down in far better films countless times before…


Posted on October 8, 2014 by

THE EQUALIZER

1 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 131 minutes

Unstoppable killing machines become tiresome once it becomes clear they can’t be stopped. Even when they’re played by an Oscar winner…


Posted on October 1, 2014 by

THE TRIP TO ITALY

5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 108 minutes

The cinematography could not be more gorgeous, as you might imagine, and the shots of haute cuisine are beyond mouth watering…


Posted on September 26, 2014 by

NO GOOD DEED

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 84 minutes

When that top secret plot twist rolls around, it does prove shocking; shocking how ridiculous and irrelevant it is…


Posted on September 17, 2014 by

THE NOVEMBER MAN

1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 108 minutes

Of the film’s dialogue, what can one say? It makes the most pinheaded Steven Seagal picture sound positively like Shakespeare…


Posted on September 3, 2014 by

IF I STAY

1 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 106 minutes

What can I say? If I were a twelve year old girl, this might seem like the greatest thing since Robert Pattinson. Clearly I’m not the target demo for this sentiment-fest…


Posted on August 27, 2014 by

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 97 minutes

Few, if any, laughs. Few, if any, new ideas. And nothing in terms of narrative we can’t see coming a kilometer away…


Posted on August 24, 2014 by

INTO THE STORM

3 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 89 minutes

This is a storm that’s far from perfect but adjust your expectations sufficiently and you just may have an experience that doesn’t blow…


Posted on August 13, 2014 by

AND SO IT GOES

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 94 minutes

Are you sitting down? I’m about to coin a new phrase and I wouldn’t want to knock you over with its culturally observant pithiness. Ready? Wrinkle porn…


Posted on July 30, 2014 by

THIRD PERSON

0 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 137 minutes

2014’s barely past its midpoint but, my friends, we have a winner: Paul Haggis’ latest is a lock for worst movie of the year…


Posted on July 16, 2014 by

TAMMY

2 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 96 minutes

I’m still shaking off the shock but there’s no getting around it: This is a road movie in which Melissa McCarthy-one of the planet’s funniest people-takes her audience down a dead end…


Posted on July 9, 2014 by

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

0 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 165 minutes

Michael Bay didn’t invent sequels, one dimensional characters, incoherent narratives, laughable dialogue, product placement or deafening, incomprehensible action sequences. He’s just made them synonymous with summer movies. The guy’s an evil genius. Everybody knows these films suck yet practically everybody sees them anyway…


Posted on July 2, 2014 by

JERSEY BOYS

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2014
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 134 minutes

Why would anyone pay good money to sit through a movie this bad?


Posted on June 25, 2014 by

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