MEN IN BLACK II

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 90 minutes

IN THEATERS! Well, the first installment of this would-be mega-franchise wasn’t too bad. That monster hit of 1997, VERY loosely based on the comic book of the same name, told the story of how supercop James Edwards (Will Smith) ended up in the ultra-secret alien policing organization of the title and with by-the-book parter, agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). That film was carried by the script’s sharp sense of satire, an excellent cast, and director Barry Sonnenfeld’s relatively light touch behind the camera…

Posted on July 3, 2002 by Ron Wells

SCOOBY DOO

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 87 minutes

IN THEATERS! At least the people who saw it with me found it hysterically funny. On the other hand, they all seemed pretty stoned, so use your own judgement for, uh, pre-film preparations…

Posted on June 15, 2002 by Ron Wells

STAR WARS: EPISODE II – ATTACK OF THE CLONES

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 127 minutes

IN THEATERS! Alright kids, school is now in session, and our topic is “Attack of the Clones”. It’s been three years since our last class, in which we learned how George Lucas’ ego and self-delusion could crush your childhood like a beer can at a frat party. If the filmmaker had sabotaged that debacle on purpose (I said, “on purpose”), he probably couldn’t have done much worse. Twenty years of reading his own press and not directing made George an extremely rusty, self-deluded boy. Hell, Francis Ford Coppola and John Carpenter have been working that whole time, and they’ve churned almost nothing but crap for at least the last decade. Lucas had barely even executive produced anything in the years before “Phantom Menace” began production. After the pain of that film you’d expect that both its maker and its audience would become a little more wary, so let’s examine how “Episode II” has turned out…

Posted on May 16, 2002 by Ron Wells

STAR WARS: EPISODE I – THE PHANTOM MENACE (NON-SPOILER REVIEW)

Year Released: 1999
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 127 minutes

STAR WARS SPECIAL! “The Phantom Menace” gives you warning with its first real line of dialogue, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”…

Posted on May 8, 2002 by Ron Wells

SPIDER-MAN

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 120 minutes

IN THEATERS! Don’t get me wrong. “Spider-Man” doesn’t suck. Then again, it’s not exactly the masterpiece it threatens to be. I guess I’d put it at around 80% of the way there. What happened?

Posted on May 3, 2002 by Ron Wells

NIGHT AT THE GOLDEN EAGLE

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 110 minutes

IN THEATERS IN LIMITED RELEASE! It’s great to see that the talented Rifkin got his act together. The whole production is remarkably free of Hollywood horse-shit…

Posted on April 26, 2002 by Ron Wells

WORLD TRAVELER

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 103 minutes

IN THEATERS IN LIMITED RELEASE IN LA! Remember those guys in high school that always seemed to have everything and never had to struggle for it?

Posted on April 19, 2002 by Ron Wells

HUMAN NATURE

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 92 minutes

IN THEATERS IN LIMITED RELEASE! “Human Nature” is really only about one such desire, the need to get laid, and the lengths different characters will go to get laid…

Posted on April 12, 2002 by Ron Wells

RUN RONNIE RUN

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 87 minutes

IN THEATERS! “Run, Ronnie, Run” will probably be the funniest film we’ll see all year…

Posted on April 12, 2002 by Ron Wells

LUCKY BREAK

Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 107 minutes

IN THEATERS IN LIMITED RELEASE! All I can say is that this is the first prison epic I’ve seen that might actually make a decent date flick…

Posted on April 5, 2002 by Ron Wells

MæLSTROM

Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 88 minutes

IN THEATERS IN LIMITED RELEASE IN LOS ANGELES! The first few minutes on screen didn’t necessarily set me at ease with the introduction of the narrator — a talking fish about to be slaughtered…

Posted on April 5, 2002 by Ron Wells

ONE MAN’S VIEW OF THE 2002 ACADEMY AWARDS -or- WHY “A BEAUTIFUL MIND” STILL SUCKS ASS

Every year I’ve got to bitch on this site about some piece of garbage that suckered in Academy voters and/or the public. Can you guess which one it is this year?

Posted on March 25, 2002 by Ron Wells