“People come up to me and say, ‘’You played Snake Plissken.'’ I didn’t play Snake Plissken, I created him!”

Kurt Russell is one of those actors who is at that level of Bruce Campbell. Hell, he’s likely equal to his level of sheer cult power, because shit, it’s Kurt Russell.

There has been plenty of wonderful Kurt Russell moments this year so far. I mean, playing Stuntman Mike (replacing Mickey Rourke) in what looks to be one hell of a fucking bad ass role in “Death Proof,” and Kurt Russell’s sheer anger at the prospect that he played Snake Plissken.

You tell those assholes, Kurt. You’re not to be brushed aside so easily. You can’t blame Russell for protecting his legacy. You can’t blame Russell’s bravado in a time where film studios seem to be in such a hurry to extinguish much of what was established and set it all aside for the new. Many of the folks that laid the groundwork for film are being rendered almost irrelevant, and some folks like Russell simply won’t let it happen. So yes, Russell is goddamn entitled to be a bit egocentric.

So, in honor of the upcoming “Grindhouse,” and just because I’m a pure fan of lists, here are my favorite moments from Kurt Russell.

Russell is a Snake
To quote Russell on the upcoming “Escape” remake: “Fuck that! I am Snake Plissken! It’s like Sean Connery always watching someone else do their version of Bond. I think one of the things, for instance, about Escape From New York that appealed to me was that it wasn’t a special effects extravaganza. It’s a quiet, dark world and it revolved around watching the behavior of this one guy. He’s a fascinating character. In fact, he’s the most complex character I’ve ever played.” John Carpenter replied with: “The check for “Escape” is in the mail… right? They’re paying me… right? I’d better call my agent.”

I remember watching “Escape from New York” for the first time about three years ago. Yes, I’ll freely admit, I’d never seen the film before, nor did I really seek it out. “Escape From New York” is a big budget blockbuster sans the big budget. It’s a film in a world that’s not based on special effects, but more on theatrics. It’s a world where New York is a sheer wasteland run by gang members and dictatorial politicians who live by the almighty dollar. Not too far off from the New York now, I know, but hell, “Escape from New York” was an utterly fantastic sci-fi Western, and Russell was excellent as Snake Plissken, the quasi-Eastwood who rivaled even Mad Max in attitude. This would, by many, be Russell’s top in his career.

Russell does Wyatt Earp
Some people are bound to say that Val Kilmer just stole the show away from everyone else in “Tombstone” as the sick and dying Doc Holiday. But at the same time, there was the bigger budget “Wyatt Earp” coming into theaters, and critics expected the opposite effect. “Tombstone” wasn’t screened by critics, while “Wyatt Earp” was being touted as a huge hit. As we all know, “Tombstone” ended up being the better of the two, simply because of the fantastic performances and the all around excellent story told through the eyes of Russell. Russell was sympathetic and rather irritating as Earp, a man anxious for peace who is drawn back into his violent past after his brother is assassinated. Russell’s performance was excellent, and you could sense Earp’s desperation to keep his hands free of blood throughout. Russell Concurs: “I did Wyatt Earp — there’s only been 50 of those. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll put my Wyatt Earp up against anybody’s.”

Russell and his big ugly Thing
Russell, among a large cast of established male actors, simply took the cake as the bordering on psychotic MacReady, a man who was deemed a general psychopath once the thing took on the station. Hell, even MacReady questions his own sanity during many points, but once the severed head begins crawling away with spider legs, you suddenly realize MacReady wasn’t so bad after all. Insanity was simply needed to take on the thing in John Carpenter’s fantastic remake of the classic alien flick. After consistent viewings “John Carpenter’s The Thing” is still a damn good horror flick ripe with tension and sheer terror, and Russell is that man pushed to the brink of heroism not because he wants to, but because he has to. Self-preservation was on the menu. It’s too bad MacReady probably didn’t live to see if the alien had survived or not. Being the bastard I am, I like to think MacReady was the alien right at the tail end of “The Thing.” It’s very possible. Much of Russell’s best work was with Carpenter, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.

Russell does Elvis… yet again
Russell is simply one of the more ideal choices for Elvis Presley. Even though it’s not exactly the best fit for the king, it just is a match made through Russell’s career. Which would explain Russell’s rather uncredited cameo in “Forrest Gump.” In the Americana fairy tale, Gump explains how, in his life as a kid, he wore leg braces, and his mom would take in travelers to rent rooms, to which she rented a room out to a young man named Elvis. Russell is featured in a rather entertaining voice cameo as a young Elvis Presley who learns his moves thanks to the young Forrest. It was an entertaining voice cameo, and it’s easy to miss.

Russell on fire
Many people have gone on to admit that “Backdraft” was about as realistic a depiction of firefighters, as “Star Trek” is with race relations, but that’s the fun of it. In the face of fact and fiction, fiction is often time much more entertaining. Kurt Russell is rather bad ass as firefighter “Bull” McCaffrey whose obsession with fire and a local arsonist is beginning to consume his every waking thought. Ron Howard’s film is a pure guy’s flick with pretty excellent peaks at the fires depicted as monstrosities, while Russell takes one for the team in the still sad climax. It’s tough not to like Russell in much of what he does.

Russell’s Miracle
Russell proved without a doubt that his talents as an actor are clear in “Miracle,” a rather underrated sports film about the miraculous win of the US Hockey team in the 1980 Olympics. Russell not only resembled the real life Herb Brooks, but his depiction as the man was excellent. Russell gave a criminally underrated performance as this man who felt the need to gather his team and triumph over the unbeatable Russian team at the time of the Cold War. Russell did away with much of his looks and embodied the gruff and gritty Brooks who worked his team hard to victory. “Miracle” is highly suggested for Russell’s center stage performance alone.

What’s your favorite Kurt Russell moment?

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I guess admitting to a left-wing, stereotypically bleeding heart liberal that you’ve never seen “Schindler’s List” and have no intention of seeing it is a lot like saying you enjoy clubbing baby seals just to watch them twitch as their blood soaks the dazzling white snow beneath their cute, gaping heads. It’s just not something you do if you want to avoid a lecture.

“But you have to see it,” she told me. “Spielberg has so much to say about compassion and humanity, and Neeson was born to play that role. It’s time you stopped watching make believe horror and see something that deals with real life horrors.”

Years ago, when Spielberg’s Oscar plea first came out, I wrote a column for some publication (I believe it was in Redding, CA) with the premise that Schindler wasn’t a hero, he was your boss. I painted him as a Nazi (joined the party in 1939, I believe) who somehow found it within himself to buck the system. I also called him an opportunistic, greedy, exploitive capitalist. Far from a hero, I said he wasn’t much better than the owner of your local Wendy’s.

As to be expected, people’s reactions were less than favorable.

I’ll admit to never seeing the film. I don’t see movies just because other people say they are good. I see films because I want to see them. I saw no compelling reason (and still see no reason) to see “Schindler’s List.” I know about the man. I know about his deeds. Why would I need to see Spielberg’s version of him?

Schindler was not a hero. He used Jews as slave labor in his enamelware and ammunitions factory, and really didn’t have any moral conflicts about any of that in the beginning. A change of heart doesn’t alter his previous actions. People have to be responsible for what they’ve done. You can forgive them, but you should never forget, and you shouldn’t paint someone as a hero because he or she started acting human. Heroes don’t use slave labor to begin with, and they sure as hell don’t join organizations spouting hate as means of government. Sheep do that. Idiots do that. Greedy capitalists do that (as long as there is a buck to be made). Evil people with evil intentions do that. Heroes don’t. Suddenly changing your mind and putting yourself at risk does not make you a hero. It only means you realized what an ass you were being.

The one thing that Schindler’s apologists seem to have forgotten is that people have free will. As a person, you can decide not to obey orders, even if it means you will be punished. That’s a choice you can make. If you obey, it can be understood that you agree with what you are being told. If that’s the case, your actions make sense and are open to criticism. If you obey and don’t agree, not only are your actions open to criticism, but your entire nature is suspect as you are either a coward or too complacent. (Granted, there are times when it comes down to a more personal level, say that you either do as you are told or your family dies. There are exceptions to every rule, obviously. In the case of Schindler, however, it has to be remembered that nobody forced him to use slave labor. The man was exploitive by nature. He saw Jews as a cheap source of labor. There was no coercion involved.) People should never blindly obey because they shouldn’t trust authority. That’s what lets things like the Holocaust happen. Authority should be questioned, and it should be made to justify itself. If the only justification it has is force, that’s no justification at all, and that authority should be dismantled immediately or, at the very least, disobeyed.

Schindler was not a hero. He was a Nazi, and he bears responsibility for all the things the Nazis did. It doesn’t matter that good came from it. (He saved about 1,100 Jews on his end. No small feat, but he should have never been exploiting them in the first place.) What matters is why he ever sided with the Nazis in the first place. He can be praised, but it should be with a healthy dose of skepticism, and the term “hero” should never be used. “A man who tried to make amends for his despicable actions” is a far more accurate phrase, and I would have no problem agreeing with that.
If you aren’t fighting the system every step of the way, you’re helping keep it in place. There’s nothing glorious about that, and anyone who thinks differently needs to be reminded of what being a Nazi meant, what they believed, and what they did. A few good deeds does not erase evil actions that should have never happened in the first place. It only solidifies how wrong they were to begin with.

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I grew up in Michigan, and the very first film festival I attended was in Ann Arbor, MI. The Ann Arbor Film Festival has a rich history having challenged the sensibilities of filmgoers for 45 years. Recently the festival had a chunk of funding pulled from the state based on what was perceived to be “porn” by elected officials. After I heard about the situation, I knew I had to return to show my support for the festival that got me hooked on indie film.

I’ll be taking on the funding issue and censorship on the Hot and Bothered panel on Saturday March 24th at 1:30pm. I’ll join Eddie Schmidt (This Film Is Not Yet Rated), Elaine King (Carnegie Melon) and Matthew Bernstein (Emory University) in what is sure to be an exciting discussion of film. I’m sure someone will use terms such as “penis” and maybe even “vagina.” Sure, these are medical terms, but sensitive folks are liable to get their panties in a bunch, which is always fun to watch.

So come on down to the Michigan Theater this week and I’ll see you at the festival!

Gore gone!

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I was just getting ready to write a column about wishing there were more drive-in theatres still in operation when a car went by my window with The Police’s “Roxanne” blaring from its stereo system. Why anyone would crank that at full volume is a mystery to me, but the two tweakers standing on a corner nearby took it as a sign from God to start singing it at the top of their lungs. That sparked a memory of Eddie Murphy, which led me to the conclusion that “Things to Do in California When You’re Tweaking” would make a great title for a column. (Don’t ask me how I came to that conclusion and why it took Murphy to get me there. The mind works in mysterious ways.) The only problem: I had no way to tie in movies with tweakers.

Every drug addict I’ve ever talked to has horror stories about being on drugs and watching a film. One meth addict even had a great tale of seeing the first part of “Hellraiser” while in a state of paranoia that would have put William S. Burroughs to shame. I don’t have to go into detail, but it was exactly how you’d imagine it.

The problem with tweakers and some other addicts is that they can’t sit still long enough to see a film. This is especially true of the younger ones who were raised on commercials and crappy MTV-inspired movies. You can’t get them to talk about films, either, because while the conversation may start off fine, it soon trails off into this rambling sort of lecture about the “fuckers trying to mess my shit up.”

There have been several good movies made about tweakers. “Requiem for a Dream” and “Spun” are two that come to mind. And there are good films made by people I am pretty sure were on drugs, like “JFK.” But how could I tie all of this in with in a column about Hollywood?

I know, I could offer suggestions to addict tourists visiting my state.

If you’re an addict, you have got to get your ass down to Hollywood. It’s not that the drugs are cheaper or more plentiful. No. There’s just more to do. One of the best activities is to find some B-grade star, like Tori Spelling, and follow her around while screaming, “You owe me money for the crystal meth I sold you! Don’t try to deny it because you were on ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ or some shit. I want my money, bitch!” If that doesn’t provide you with hours of entertainment, you aren’t doing enough drugs.

I would also encourage would-be tourist tweakers to pack some nice clothes. Why? Game shows. Imagine how fun it would be to spin the wheel on “The Price is Right” while spun out of your mind. Imagine the looks of fear on the faces of the host and director as you stand up there bouncing from one foot to the other as you wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve and say, “I’m very fucking happy to be here. I never win the Lotto.” Classic.

Hollywood, as many people know, is the film capital of the US, but there are other locations throughout the state that have ties to movies. Northern California saw Ewoks and dinosaurs, and a sleepy little town called Ferndale hosted the 1970s television mini-series “Salem’s Lot.” Loleta was used in “Halloween III: Season of the Witch,” as well. Why not take a tour of all the state’s many film locations, trying to score drugs in each one of them? Imagine the respect you’ll gain from your user friends when you tell them the heroin they’re injecting came from the same town where David Soul fought off vampires. That should, at the very least, get you a hand job.

If that seems like too much traveling, you can hang out in San Francisco, where stars like to spend some quality time away from the all the hoopla they find in Hollywood. The celebs are treated like “regular” people there, which means they get the best seats in restaurants without the paparazzi being called. Don Johnson, Dean Cain and others are apparently regulars on the SF scene. Why not look for them and try your best to get them to give you their autograph. If you can get them to that, you should also ask if they know of a good place to get “fucked up” so that you and your “old lady” can have a swingin’ time. Hell, invite them. I hear Mr. Johnson is a nice guy. Maybe he’ll take you up on your offer. Then again, he might punch you in the face. If he does that — pay day!

California and Hollywood offer a great many venues for those on various controlled substances. You just have to know where to look and have an understanding of how to amuse yourself in the presence of royalty. If you’re bored with the same old alleys and drug dens that smell like piss and chemicals, come walk the streets of SoCal and connect with your inner film buff. We could use the tourist money, and you could use the vacation. Scoring dope is hard work these days, and everyone needs a little “me” time.

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First, an explanation of what’s to come…

For some reason, I am the guy that my friends come to when they are at a career crossroads and need a sounding board. What always comes up during these conversations is this question, “Chris, how did you go about writing your books?”

The answer is not as long-winded as you might think. In 1998, I began writing two books, one about film festivals for Lone Eagle Publishing and another about unproduced screenplays for St. Martin’s Press. I wrote both in one year (which was a big mistake, never attempt to do that yourself) but had never written a book before. I learned on the job that I created for myself and made up my own rules about how to go about tackling what seemed impossible at the time. The success of those two books led to three new editions festival book as well as other titles.

In response to my friends, and as a way to avoid repeating myself to each person who asked, I wrote this short piece.

Now, when someone asks me, I just email them this… well, I would describe what you’re reading at this moment as a “constantly evolving” essay. Up until now, I have only shared this advice with friends who I know will not only benefit from taking on this challenge, but are capable of doing the work required of an author. Thus far, six people who have read this have had their books published. These also happen to be friends who have either first expressed an interest in writing a book and/or I made the observation myself and said to them, “Hey, you should write a book.”

So, if after being initially intrigued by the headline, you saw fit to read further, then I’m telling you, reader, “Hey, YOU should write a book!”

It shouldn’t surprise you to know that there are books available that detail the many steps involved in writing a book and getting it published. What I will impart to you is the very basic information which could probably fit into a pamphlet. And, frankly, it’s all you really need to know because if you’ve written something unique and wonderful, my advice is only going to help you connect the dots. I can’t really tell you how to write a book. (In the Zen sense, that is.)

As the author of several titles in the film category, let me tell you that nothing increases your stock value more than writing a book. It’s great publicity too. In fact, Time magazine recently did a story about film festivals and they quoted me while mentioning my book. I’ve also been on radio, TV, quoted in a load of movie magazines, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, all from achieving that elusive title of “author.”

Aside from getting some press, many amazing opportunities have come my way because I wrote a book that ended up gaining respect within its category — The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide. Without putting forth much effort, I am offered other writing jobs, speaking gigs, consulting work, trips to festivals — all from writing that one book.

Another benefit to becoming a published author is that your rate increases. I can justify getting paid better when I write since, I’m an “expert.” Sure there are plenty of pundits who call themselves “experts” on television. But being a “published author” puts you in a whole new category — it means you have proof that you know something about the subject you’re discussing.

In the interests of passing along this simple knowledge to anyone who has ever thought about writing a book, I typed up the following essay. The advice is practical and useful mainly for works of non-fiction, though you could apply some of the same methods to fiction writing as well. It’s written in a conversational way to instruct and, more importantly, to inspire. I’ve titled this minor masterpiece… “How to Write a Book.”

Okay. I know. It’s a lame title. I need to work on that. Please don’t judge my scrawlings here too harshly, this is meant to inspire, not be written good.

Note: That last part, I specifically wrote poorly on purpose. Just so you know. Some attempts to be clever will invariably fail, so learn from my very recent mistake as you forge ahead to read something that could very well change your life… right… now.

How to Write a Book
by Chris Gore

Let me start by exposing a secret — writing a book is not that difficult. It only seems like an impossible task because you’ve never done it. So, don’t be intimidated, let’s begin.

I am going to assume that you already have some talent, expertise and writing skill. Accomplishing the task of completing a book, one that people will actually want to buy, requires another quality — consistency. I bet you can put together an essay of, say, 500 words on any topic fairly easily. A book is kind of like that 500 word essay, but with much more depth and a higher word count. In fact, the average book is about 50,000 to 60,000 words. So, in some ways, it’s all about math — get that word count to 50,000+ on said subject, and you’re done. However, it’s not all that easy — ending up with a finished work of a particular length is a matter of committing oneself to being consistent, often at the expense of other things in your life.

You have to write every day.

Every day.

Without an excuse, you have to write.

Every day.

If you write just 1,000 words a day (about four type-written, double-spaced pages) for two months and you do it consistently every day, you will eventually create enough content to amount to the length of the average book.

When I get in the zone, I can write about 3,000 words in three or four hours. I’ve found it’s best to schedule a regular time to write, either in the morning or late at night when there are fewer distractions. It’s really important that you set aside the time (it helps to make it the same period of time each day) to get in that zone where writing becomes almost hypnotic… the words escaping your fingers like notes on a piano. You’re not thinking, you’re letting the words flow.

Where to write is an important choice. Some people think they will go to some special place, a vacation hotspot, and spend a few relaxing months writing their great book. Good luck with that. I don’t believe that is the best way. I don’t believe you need to go “somewhere” to write a book — I don’t know anyone who returned from a vacation with a decent novel or book, there are just too many distractions and too much pressure. Wherever you write, make it a place that allows you to focus.

The truth is, most decent books are written under circumstances that are less than ideal, often while working a full-time job like you probably are right now. Just ask your local bank teller if he is working on a book. You might consider doing what many first-timers find works, write in the morning before you go to work. Morning, not night. Get up at 4 AM, sit in front of that computer and grind out those words. No excuses. Write 10,000 words a week.

The final step is polishing and editing what you have churned out while taking a more critical eye to the words. If you’ve done well in school, this can be accomplished with ease.

When you finish the heavy lifting required of a first draft, reward yourself. Plan something, in fact, write it down. Smoke a Cuban cigar. Eat an expensive steak. Share a bottle of the best champagne. I didn’t drink beer for two months (and I love beer) until I completed the first draft of My Big Fat Independent Movie. I rewarded myself by going to a bar and drinking a cold one with pals. No beer I ever drank in my life tasted better than that one.

More challenging than writing a book, is selling it to a publisher. Who you are factors into the marketing itself and can help sell the book. So, there’s a question you need to ask yourself, before the publisher does:
What real-life experiences make you qualified to write a book about this topic? (Meaning, are you yourself a promotable aspect?)

You’ll need a very good answer as the response plays into your ability to help sell the title to the book-buying public at large. Can you do print interviews, radio, mount a book-signing tour or appear on television and remain clever and all-smiles in spite of lousy hotels, quick meals, little sleep and a fast-paced life on the road for weeks usually requiring you to answer the same questions over and over and over. Before you approach a publisher, consider all of these questions carefully.

There are also things that are important to a publisher that are probably not very important to you. They’re not putting out books for charity, they expect to make money, so you have to be sensitive to the publisher’s needs respond to the things that matters to them. Publishers consider a book’s title to be a major part of the marketing. You’ll have to deliver a solid and focused concept along with a catchy title — a book you can explain in a sentence, so you tell someone the title and they get it quickly. Start with a decent, catchy title, otherwise, the publisher will think of one for you. For example, “American Smartass” is a satirical novel about a scientist who uses ancient DNA from the shroud of Turin to clone a teenage Jesus who then becomes a stand-up comic mocking his dad (God) in his meteoric rise to fame and fortune. Okay, that book sounds terrible, it’s more like a movie pitch, but you get the idea. Most book titles run 1.2 words, so think short and concise. However, there are no rules when it comes to titles, so you’ll know a good one when you hear it.

I’ve always wanted to write a book in the style of one of those in the “For Dummies” series, with the title Filmmaking for Assholes. The book would recount all the classic asshole stories from Hollywood in a humorous and how-to style, so that the reader could aspire to be an asshole filmmaker themselves. It would be satirical, but actually lay out by example that being an asshole is rewarded and often leads to success. Unfortunate, but true. (I went so far as to pitch this with a mock cover, but no publisher wanted an expletive as part of the title.)

If you’ve never written a book before, no matter how good your writing samples are, the publisher will want the following:
- A catchy title. In fact, I should know what the book is by hearing the title. Expect the title to go through tweaks and changes as it is tested with buyers.
- An outline or table of contents. The publisher wants to know what’s in the book chapter by chapter.
- The pitch, basically 1-2 pages essay explaining the genre, short summary, similar books in the marketplace, why someone would buy this book, who is the reader, etc… Think of this as the copy you would read on the inside jacket of a hardcover. What would best describe your book?
- A sample chapter or two.
- Foreword - For non-fiction, including a famous person to approach to write the foreword is a great tool in selling the title. I have written the forewords for many film-related books. One Film Threat writer is currently writing a book about movies and drinking (the title is brilliant, but I can’t give it away here) and plans to get Artie Lang of the Howard Stern show to pen the foreword. It’s a perfect match. It doesn’t have to be written, you don’t have to know them, you just need an idea of who you might approach.
- Quotes - A list of potential people and/or outlets to approach for quotes for the back cover. I don’t know why, but publishers love this.
- Your bio. Again, who you are plays into the marketing and selling of the book, so a book about a stripper written by an actual stripper is more interesting than one written by a non-stripper. Make sense? Which means that I could not write a book about a stripper. Well, not a very good one.

If you are writing your first book, the reality is that you’ll have to write nearly the entire thing in order to get a publisher’s attention. And then you have to get them to read it. If you have no previous experience, it’s nearly impossible to sell a book based on a pitch or a sample chapter. That is, unless you are well-established or famous or have committed a sensational crime. It’s sad, but true.

I begin each book project by writing a well-planned outline or a detailed table of contents. This may sound odd, but I spend more time on the outline than writing the book itself. I usually have thought through this outline so carefully, that writing is just about getting the ideas out of my head. I go about this by penning a headline for each 250-500 word portion. I will often include additional notes to break down each section so that I can recall details I plan to include. I can’t stress the importance of this outline. On my first film festival book, I spent six months on the outline, then only two months writing the actual book. On the updates to later editions, it takes about a month of working exclusively on the book and nothing else.

Now, there are a few things you need to ask yourself–
Do you have the ambition, the drive and the time to write a book?
Can you spend three hours or more daily and then sustain that pace for months, maybe even a year or more to get it done?
That’s up to you. Get it published before life makes it too difficult and you dream to publish a book remains a dream forever.
Outline. Write. Plan.

Be disciplined.

And, most importantly… think.

Think.

How many of us take the time, actually spend time “thinking”? You need the time to think, you need a schedule, you need a goal and you need a deadline. That is what is required to achieve any creative goal.

So, stop waiting and write it.

Your pal.
Chris Gore
Author of The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide, The 50 Greatest Movies Never Made and The Complete DVD Book.

P.S. If my words have helped you in some way get your book done, please toss a mention in the special thanks. I’d appreciate it. And, if you forget, that’s cool. I’m just happy to have helped in some small way.

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Sitting in the convention center, typing away at this blog while the iPod recharges prior to the flight out of town, watching the people line up for music bade registration… insane. Everyone was right, everything changes when the music festival starts. New types of people, new types of rules, new environment. Every bar has a million bands playing. Awesome.

Meant to blog earlier this morning, but the gang and I had to pack up and get out of the hotel room. Pete should be home by now, and Don should be in his new hotel (he’ll be staying until Saturday). Me? I fly out in just under 4 hours, which means I’m about 2 hours away from leaving for the airport.

Last night was fun, we all went to the closing night party at Maggie Mae’s and made our final peace with SXSW, as one should. Once I realized I had had all the film conversations I was willing to have, we decided to move on to a local bar, el casino del camino, for some final late night hanging. The bar was amazing, great jukebox selection, quality people inside and “Slither” on the TV screens (a movie which caused me to wait until after it had ended before I would try the burgers everyone was bragging about tasting so amazing).

In an effort to finally get a taste of the music side of SXSW, I made it down to Emo’s earlier today for the Metro Chicago party, mainly to check out Sybris live. They were awesome, and I’m glad I finally got to see them play. And to Mr. Chris Gore, who taunted me about being unable to attend the last time they played Los Angeles (a show he attended while I covered CineVegas), the band was gracious enough to give me a disc of new songs. So, uh… TAKE THAT, GORE!

Also just saw Robyn Hitchcock walk by. If I weren’t leaving, I’d be checking his show out tonight too. Luckily he’ll be doing some LA shows soon enough (with the mighty, mighty Sean Nelson), so I’ll get to see him play.

There you go, SXSW 2007 is in the bag… for the most part. We’ll have new reviews and videos running all through the end of this week and weekend, with a wrap-up of all the coverage to come on Monday (for those of you who want a one-stop shop). Thanks to Matt Dentler for another solid line-up of films, and thanks to Red Bull, Jagermeister, Vodka and the Suicide Girls for making Sunday a night none of us will ever fully remember…

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I can express some sorrow that the 79th annual Academy Awards are now a moment for the dustbin of history. I watched the event, as I often do, and used the time to examine what it all means to me.

My first thought was that the awards show was a conservative’s nightmare that confirmed every bad thought about Hollywood. You had a lesbian host, a former drug addict presenter and Al Gore. George Clooney even popped up, too. I’m sure Bill O’Reilly was wondering when they would start having sex on stage (maybe he was actually hoping they would — if you’ll recall, he’s got a kinky side that was exposed a few years ago).

It was nice to see Martin Scorsese finally win. It was a long time coming, though I wish it could’ve been for something original, but this is Hollywood. Originality is a rash that should not be scratched at for fear of making it spread. Scorsese deserved it (though probably not for that film), but like most Oscars, it won’t change a damn thing.

Scorsese’s win was the only thing I really enjoyed. The rest of the proceedings just made me wonder when the whole process would become more honest and inclusive, though I was happy that no actors were nominated for playing a mentally challenged character (at least not that I noticed). Speaking of which, I didn’t see Sean Penn on stage, either, which is always a good thing. So I guess there were two things I enjoyed.

Jack Black and Will Ferrell, two people I don’t care too much about, did make an interesting point. The Academy doesn’t seem to like comedies. In an effort to make the world take it seriously, the Academy awards serious, heavy pieces. It turns out to be patting its own back, however, and that comes off as pretentious. “Babel” and “The Queen” may be excellent films that explore important issues and events, but shouldn’t films that aren’t as heady be spotlighted as well, and not just for the Best Short Film, Animated award? I know that sounds strange coming from me, but a good film is a good film — it’s genre less important than its execution, though I don’t think the Academy would ever see it that way.

Watching CNN Headline News the next morning brought me face to face with what this all came down to. Adrianna Costa, one of those entertainment “journalists” who comes off about as sincere air kisses, was doing a wrap-up of the previous night’s activities. She was “excited about everything.” Those were her words. “Excited about everything.”

Before I continue, let’s examine that.

Being “excited about everything” means one of two things. You either aren’t telling the truth, or you’re a vapid mess who should not be given any credibility, let alone time on a major news network. Nobody is “excited about everything” unless they are missing quite a few brain cells. If that’s the case, then bright colors and flashing lights will get you jumping for joy. I’d like to say Costa was being insincere, but I’m starting to think she’s kind of retarded.

Anyway, Costa went on to explain herself, talking about some surprises she’d be covering (like maybe the fact that another black woman won — I’m surprised when that happens), and (most importantly) the hits and misses when it came to fashion. According to Costa, “we” all love the awards and “everyone” loves the red carpet. That, of course, is not true. I could care less about what people are wearing, but somehow that has become more important than the actual awards, and that’s because those statues have lost their power. They no longer mean anything. The films they represent no longer mean anything, and the people who receive them no longer mean anything. Fashion has become the art, and people like Costa, in all her drooling glory, are running the show.

All of this is depressing. It’s depressing because the question of who you are wearing is now mandatory for the red carpet. It’s depressing because the Academy has retained its snob-without-sense stature for yet another year. It’s depressing because people like Costa come across as geniuses throughout this mess.

I’d like to thank the Academy. I’d like to thank it for giving credence to the notion that Hollywood is full of idiots who consider themselves elitists. I’d like to thank it for making Best Motion Picture less important than Vera Wang. I’d like to thank it for taking itself so seriously it can’t see what a joke it has become. And most of all, I’d like to thank it for making me realize that when I see advertisements declaring a film as an “Oscar winner” and “Oscar nominated” I’ll know it means nothing at all. It makes my viewing choices a whole hell of a lot easier, too. I know what to stay away from and what to see.

Thanks, Oscar. You’re worth your weight in gold.

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Third day of rain, this time the thunder and lightning is getting a’going early. Currently up in the hotel room, looking out at the convention center and watching the storm while I work. The weather changes, the sudden rain, the temp in the 80’s, the wind… my allergies are unhappy, but I’m rocking the Claritin and Halls throat drops, so I’m doing fine.

Tonight is my final night here at SXSW 2007, and it should end well. The awards will be announced in about 6 hours or so, and then there will be the closing night party, hosted by Fox, and promising an appearance by Seth McFarlane. Looking forward to the last hurrah, as it were, but it’s festival depression kicking in, as it always does, as once again all the friends I’ve made and been hanging out with will all scatter back to their homes as well, and we’ll have to wait months to a year to see each other again.

Went to a blogging panel this morning, not so much to learn anything new in regards to how one should blog, but more my peers thoughts on blogging in general, and why they do it. What I found on the panel is still a strong belief that print is true journalism, while blogging can be tricky depending on how one defines terms but all agree it’s the ability of the blog to provoke thought and questions that is important. Eugene Hernandez of IndieWire brought up the idea of real, original reporting decreasing while commentary increases, leading one to ponder, well, which is more important?

Symbiotically, you need something to comment on, so original stories are important, but stories need to be questioned or given feedback, and therefore, commentary. Blogging really just offers folks the ability to syndicate their opinions on subjects world-wide as opposed to the year’s past when, say, you would just talk to your co-worker at the office cooler. I think where it gets truly sketchy is when blogs comment on the commentary on other blogs as opposed to the stories, and then you have commentary feeding commentary and that snake eating its tail can only ever be so long.

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It was great. In fact, it went over so well at SXSW, with so many consistent laughs, that I’m convinced I only heard half the movie, because everyone laughed over practically every second sentence. Apatow, Rogen and Heigl were NOT in attendance at the screening, which made me sad, but Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill and “Freaks and Geeks” alum Martin Starr were. And don’t worry, the review will be on the site soon. Don got the honors after a coin flip (Pete, Don and I all felt pretty much the same, and were going to give the same star rating, so a coin flip to see who got to give the official praise seemed the fairest thing to do).

Seems everyone who attended SXSW was at the screening too, or at least everyone I’d been talking to over the last few days. The highlight for me came after the film, at the Austin Chronicle party, when I got to see Loudon Wainwright III play a live show (as he has new music on, and mostly composed the score for, the “Knocked Up” soundtrack). I’m a big fan of Loudon, and he’s an amazing performer. He got pissed and bitter over all the people talking at the food line and by the bar while he played for a smaller contingent up front, and it made for some fun stage banter.

After Loudon’s set, I cut out. Too much to do, and I don’t think any night of partying could possibly reach the level of insanity that happened at the previous night’s Film Threat / Red Bull bash. Telling you, as soon as I get some pics, they will go up, as embarassing as they no doubt will be.

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Team Film Threat has been slowly putting together the puzzle that was last night’s events, but it’s not all together… yet. See, Red Bull sponsored a Film Threat / Suicide Girls party, and all our friends turned out for the fun, including an old friend of Mark’s: Mr. Jagermeister. To say that drunken debauchery happened would be an understatement. It rained all night, we drank all night, we danced all night and it was a blast. For those who were worried about me as the night went on, I’m fine, feeling grand, was feeling pretty good last night. No hangover… believe it!

I’d offer more details, but we’re waiting for pictures to surface, as we remember them being taken at various times throughout the night. That, and we don’t remember much of the evening. What I vaguely remember:

- Talking with the gang from the deadCenter Film Festival, Pete’s friends, the “Monkey Warfare” filmmakers, Zach Selwyn and the G4 crew, women in ninja costumes, Kevin Rose and so much more.

I’ve been told that Luke Wilson was in attendance, but I did not see him. Apparently he was rocking incognito with a mustache, so I may’ve talked with him. Unless pics appear, we’ll never really know.

And I’d like to take this moment to throw out a special thank you to Vinny and the G4 crew, for getting me back to the hotel safely (and not soaked). It would’ve been a long walk otherwise, and THAT would’ve sucked.

Anyway, I’ve been working since early this morning on a crappy internet connection that keeps cutting out (making everything from updating reviews to newsletters take FOREVER), so I’m going to go get some food and water in me. Seeing “Knocked Up” this evening, s’all good. Well, hopefully s’all good. We all have such high expectations for the film it could really fuck the bunny’s nutsac… s’what?

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