“Why don’t we trust readers? Why don’t we trust filmgoers? Oh, it causes me to shake my head with sorrow that such nitwits could be loose in the world.” – Philip Pullman, author of the His Dark Materials trilogy.
So the Catholic League is at it again. They’re calling for a sight-unseen boycott of The Golden Compass, which opens this weekend, but not because they object to the movie itself.
Some history: The Golden Compass, which is the U.S. title of a book called Northern Lights, the first in a trilogy uniformly called His Dark Materials, but also referred to by the author as “The Golden Compasses“, referring to the drawing devices and not the mis-identified navigational object used on the cover. Got all that? Granted, The Golden Compass is a better title than either Northern Lights or His Dark Materials (taken from a line in Milton’s Paradise Lost), but it’s actually inaccurate. But never let a little thing like accuracy halt the wheels of capitalism.
Now then, the trilogy, a fantasy about another fantastical world, has as one of its themes the idea that organized religion can easily go astray when the higher-ups get drunk on their own power and that the religion’s followers should question the decisions of its leaders. Pullman, who is himself, if not a full-blown atheist, then a pretty strident agnostic, who doesn’t seem to trust organized religion in any form. Nevertheless, this is a theme in the book and actually isn’t what the book is about. The villains are a religious splinter group called, at least in the film, “The Magisterium”.
Further: the movie has toned down this theme. “The Magisterium” on film, headed by Nicole Kidman’s character, are some sort of ruling evil political party out to destroy a little blonde girl and her friends. The decision to tone down the anti-religious aspects of the books was made very, very early on in the development process because it was believed that it might hurt the film’s chances with an American audience. This decision, made with the agreement of the author keep in mind, was then attacked by some of the book’s more rabid fans, multiple anti-censorship groups and the British-based National Secular Society—of which Pullman is an honorary associate. Okay, so they jettison the “Church can be bad for you” aspects of the book in order to get the “money is good for us” side of things locked in. I can understand this and even applaud the bold-faced admittance: “We’re going to tone down things that might piss some people off to make sure they come and bring their kids.” And, finally, since this was an undercurrent, a theme, and not what the book is actually about, I don’t see much problem with it. Everyone gets annoyed by something. Trying to please everyone is impossible because, let’s face it, everyone is an asshole in his or her own way. And it’s their right to be so as human beings.
(Keep in mind, I’m getting a lot of these facts from the ever-reliable Wikipedia, so my details might not be to the letter here, but I’m at work and that’s all I have access to at the moment. I don’t think I’m too off-base here, though.)
To recap: the book says people should question The Church—be it Roman Catholic, Church of England, Scientology, etc.. But since Roman Catholics believe themselves to be the center of the universe, they’ve already decided to that it’s a personal attack on them. Fine. Just remember that self-crucifixion is impossible because you can never get that last nail in. Fortunately, there are plenty of other irascible Catholics with hammers and nails at the ready to help you out.
To recap further: the movie has downplayed this aspect. They want your money. They don’t care if you like to give it to the Church or any church, just give some to the producers too.
To recap even further: people are already pissed off that this stuff is gone or watered down or “censored” or whatever. So the people on Pullman’s side are mad at him.
And now the Catholic League, and its head, William A. Donohue (good to his mother, likes cheese and lapdances but feels guilty about both), have called for a boycott of the film of The Golden Compass (misnamed and direct-marketed but looking slick and fancy) because…
Truly, this is my favorite part.
Honest. I love this. Fuckinglove this.
… because (wait for it)—even though the movie has jettisoned any “the Church is bad” (true or implied or other) themes and has placed the accent on Daniel Craig’s glare and the killer polar bears in their gladiator gear—even though none of that anti-religion stuff is there, we must boycott the movie because:
Ahem: “[T]he film will still encourage children to read the series, which League president William A. Donohue claims ‘denigrates Christianity’ and promotes ‘atheism for kids’.” Read the Wikipedia Article here.
Don’t go see the movie because your kids might want to read the books. And we all know books are harmful. They contain ideas. Beside that, they promote papercuts and eyestrain.
GOD FORBID (pun intended) that your kids might actually want to think for themselves! How would we sell them X-Boxes if they thought for themselves? Quick—offer free iPhones to anyone who doesn’t go to see the movie citing religious reasons (rather than, say, having anything better to do). Let’s not even ask the question about a faith so fragile, a religion so precariously-balanced, that a single movie or book can bring the entire thing crashing down!
Now what is genuinely entertaining me about all of this is: I had no desire to see The Golden Compass until I read about all the malarkey. I had no desire to read the books. I had no interest in CGI polar bears or non-CGI Daniel Craigs. But now damned if it isn’t at the top of my list of Things To Do.
And it ain’t just me, sportsfans. The internet is all abuzz and agog about The Golden Compass because of the “controversy”. So much so I’m actually wondering if the producers didn’t hire the Catholic League to start squawking just to get the extra publicity. Boycotts make ordinary things taboo. And people love taboo! They love to be outraged! Pious celibates will sit through burlesque shows for hours just to be offended! There are people out there who sit in front of their television sets and count the profanities all in the name of warning others! (”Censors are people who know more than they think you should.”—Ambrose Bierce)
So instead of hurting advanced word for The Golden Compass, the Catholic League has more or less ensured its success. And kids across the world will be reading the books looking for their substitute Harry Potter fix (also the subject of occasional controversy because it encourages kids to… I don’t know, study witchcraft or fight trolls or something).
Because there is one truth that I have learned. It goes for humans, yes, but Americans in particular: Americans love to be told what to think; they hate to be told what to do. Boycotts always cause these two clauses to slam into each other. And the choice of the majority is, generally, to rebel against the latter. I.e.: ‘We were told that this is evil! We hate it! We must go because they told us not to!‘ God, I love boycotts! (If only someone would boycott my personal success, instead of instilling the indifference that is currently felt towards it.)
Who said that “Any man on his own is a rational individual, but upon joining a group he becomes a blockhead.” I think it was Mark Twain. Or, possibly, that Leviticus guy.
So who’s with me for The Golden Compass this week? We can tailgate. You bring the beer. The studio can bring the polar bears and the jailbait heroines. The Catholics can bring their outrage. I’ll bring the hibachi and the flammable Bibles.
* * *
Apropos of nothing, I was just reorganizing my Netflix list for the zillionth time. I have over 340 movies in queue right now, with a good mix of good, bad, classic and bound-to-be-terrible. Suddenly one of the sites recommendations popped up. It wasn’t something I was interested in (the 2nd season of Charles in Charge? That’s for me why?) to I clicked “Not Interested”. A second window popped up with “Why the hell not? You’re being choosy now??”
Posted by Felix Vasquez Jr. in Writer's Corner at 2:59 PM
PST
Thanks to my uncle Freddy, I now love lists. I just find it fun to group all your favorites or most hated of something and use it as a conversation piece. My uncle is a huge fan of lists. He even has a book of lists he made himself of movies he’s seen, actors and actresses movies he’s seen, and even a top ten movies list.
So, naturally, him being a huge influence over my love for movies, I managed to gain a fondness for lists.
One reason why I hate lists released from people like EW, Rolling Stone, or Premiere is that they have no memory span beyond thirty years, and they pander much too heavily to modern audiences. No offense to them, I’m sure they have their fans, but why do you feel the need to include modern components when it’s much better to include your own choices and let the readers discover them?
Most recently Total Film Magazine comprised a list of their top fifty heroes and villains and while I enjoyed the top five:
1 Indiana Jones
2 Batman
3 Rocky Balboa (Rocky)
4 James Bond
5 Superman
I of course take issue with many of the choices that are clearly pandering to young audiences.
Elle Woods is above people like Father Merrin, and The Man with No Name, Spongebob Squarepants is above Ellen Ripley! Come on!
Now, granted, not everyone will agree on a list, it’s the given, but don’t pander to audiences by reducing the legacy of certain characters. Elle Woods is a hero for what? Why isn’t the Terminator on both lists?
Again, roast my nuts over the fire for this griping, but I just hate lists that purposely pander to younger audiences. We have the internet for a reason; if they don’t know the choices, why not just have them look it up?
As for the villains, there’s not much to take issue with beyond the Joker being above Darth Vader, but there’s almost as much pandering. The White Witch is scarier than the Wicked Witch of the West? A character from fucking “Bridget Jones’ Diary” is a better villain than Lex Luthor?
Huh?
Either way, I’ve decided to do my own list and will very much credit Total Film for the inspiration. This is why I love and hate lists, they always inspire anger, conversation, and debate, and there’s always a motive behind every choice.
Today has marked the online cluster-bombardment of cinema images from such much-anticipated films as “The Dark Knight,” “Indiana Jones and the Cave of the Tomb of the Ark of the Ladder of the Home of the Monkey’s Paw-Encrusted Kingdom of the George Lucas Probably Picked This Lame-Ass Crystal Skull Bullshit Title” and “Watchmen.”
First, from Empire Magazine, here’s an image of the cover of their January 2008 issue, thanks to JoBlo.com, with cover-boy the Joker:
Nice shoes, Mr. J! And those socks! I will say this, the Ledger Joker has already scared the Hell out of me in a John Wayne Gacy type of way…
Next pic up comes from the gang at AICN, which is an image of Harrison “Indiana Jones” Ford and his greaser son (heir to the fedora) Shia LeBeouf:
I think they’re looking for Harrison Ford’s personality in this picture, but it’s hard to say for sure.
Final image of the entry comes from Warner Brothers, who have posted a ton of backlot “Watchmen” pics over at their site. The most interesting one, however, involves a Nixon poster, some “Who Watches the Watchmen” graffiti and, oh yeah, Rorschach himself:
There you have it, enough movie geek imagery to load your afternoon with visions of playing cards, murder, whips and Richard Nixon. YEAH!
I saw this bit of trivia from the entry on Beowulf:
Angelina Jolie admitted in an interview that when she saw how her character looked, she was shocked to see how nude she really was, to the point that she said she was reluctant to allow Brad Pitt and her children to see the movie.
Uh… I can understand her not wanting the kids to see her (although that’s a bit prudish imo, it’s no worse than seeing mummy in a bikini after all.) but not letting BRAD see the movie because of that? I mean… isn’t he… kind of… you know… allowed to see her naked and junk?
Casino Royale star Daniel Craig has come to the defense of The Golden Compass after the book on which it is based was ordered removed from school libraries in the Canadian province of Ontario. Catholic lay leaders in Canada and the U.S. have denounced the book as anti-Catholic in particular and antireligious in general. Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, the largest Catholic lay group in the U.S., has called Compass “atheism for kids.” Kurt Bruner, author of Shedding Light on His Dark Materials, told CNSNews.com, a unit of the conservative Media Research Center, that the book and movie reflect “a story which is all about Satan overthrowing the authority of God.” But in an interview with the Toronto Globe & Mail, Craig, who has a featured role in Compass, said, “These books are not anti-religious. I think that mainly they’re anti-misuse of power — whether it’s religious or political.” Toronto bookseller Ben McNally noted that he found the actions of the school authorities curious given the fact that the books have been available in Ontario schools for more than a decade and are just now attracting controversy as the date for the movie’s premiere approaches. (It is due to open on Dec. 7.) “I mean, where have these people been?” McNally asked. And in an interview with the Christian Post, Golden Compass director Chris Weitz remarked, “I think it’s a shame that people are reacting to a movie they haven’t seen by attacking a book they haven’t understood.”
You know what bugs me the most about Religious wackos attacking movies or books by saying that they’re “trying to brainwash the children into following/being blah-blah-blah…”? It’s that they’re basically admitting that any movies, books or music that they make/approve of are, in fact, brainwashing too. Because why else would they be so uptight about hidden messages unless they thought that it could actually work? Which means that their own pro-religious films are meant to do nothing more than make little worshippers out of kids, right?
I’m so happy that I don’t live in the world that these people live in. One where religion is the only thing worth living for and my way of life is constantly threatened by sinister evil forces planning a secular takeover. A world where I’d have to rationalize using underhanded methods because the “enemy” is obviously using it. Shit people, I live in a nice happy world where everyone has the freedom to do whatever they want, even things I don’t personally like. I have no business and no interest meddling in other people’s affairs. But then again, I don’t need for everyone to think like me to know that I’m right. Maybe that’s got something to do with it.
Well, it seems the hack that Tagruato.jp experienced from a mysterious dissension has ended.
If you caught the picture, it’s altered to look like graffiti, and had mysterious symbols, roman numerals, and indistinct wording on five peculiar breeds of sea life. Whatever it was, it was surely a riddle for the internet mass, and has now been extinguished.
Perhaps it was a riddle, a message, or just a clue, either way, the evidence is gone.
“Tagruato is Destroying our Oceans,” it declared.
Now, the new site opens with a graphic of a red globe, a black screen, and Asian writing telling of its remodeling. The site now looks exactly the same. It’s filled with the same propaganda and mysterious positive testimonials peppered within before the hack.
The origin of the hack and who hacked it has yet to be revealed, but it was surely someone anxious to get the message to us as we near January 18th, 2008.
I’ve been meaning to start up a blog column for a long time, and for some reason today seemed like as good as any to get the ball rolling. I’m not promising anything as far as content or even the title of the column goes, as this is going to be a work-in-progress until it feels really comfortable. That said, let’s look at today’s Five Headlines from Hollywood!
Writers and Producers Return to the Negotiating Table! Sources: The Hollywood Reporter, Variety
The WGA and AMPTP are scheduled for three meetings this week in an attempt to end the Writer’s Strike of 2007 (possibly 2008) in what could be considered an almost last-ditch effort to resolve things before the holidays. We’ll see how everything shakes out, but it wouldn’t surprise me if nothing gets accomplished until after the New Year, which is when any real effect of the lack of writers, outside of the current late-night debacles, would be felt or seen by the general public.
I do enjoy the idea that a federal mediator has been stepping in and possibly working towards a press blackout of the whole ordeal, in an effort to make things easier on both parties without daily news coverage. Then again, not like it’s really worked thus far…
Lauren Ambrose Goes “Where the Wild Things Are” Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Michelle Williams is out and Lauren Ambrose is in to voice one of the main Wild Things in Spike Jonze’s film adaptation of the classic children’s book “Where the Wild Things Are.” Nothing bad to be said about Williams, it just turned out that the direction they went with the Wild Thing was not the way her voice sounded… or something. So Lauren Ambrose sounds more like a Wild Thing? OKAY.
Nikki Finke: “…a scoop is better than sex.” Source: New York Times
Okay, so the story is actually more about how Nikki Finke is more well-read than Variety or The Hollywood Reporter, what that means to the Writer’s Strike and other fun “another aspect of the world has noticed who Nikki Finke is” tidbits, but the part I dig is the quote about her constant strike coverage, which reads:
“It’s been brutal, but it’s also been exhilarating because I love news. I love it — a scoop is better than sex”
Now hang on there a second. Better than sex? As much as I love finding out new and exclusive info on the films or filmmakers I like or love, I’ve never had an orgasm over it. Sure, I may use the term “geek-gasm” sometimes, but it’s never caused me to actually cream my jeans. Until that happens, I’m going with sex on this one…
Can Russell come out to “Play”? Source: Variety
Sloppy seconds. That’s what the producers of “State of Play” hope Russell Crowe will be content with as they woo him to star in the film in a role previously held down by Angelina Jolie’s majordomo Brad Pitt. Apparently Pitt didn’t like the state of the current script, and decided to bail… or Universal shoved him out the door… or something. The official story on this one has not been decided on yet, but what we do know is that “State of Play” was supposed to start filming on November 15 and the hope is that Crowe can step in for Pitt and help get filming under way before Crowe’s other engagement in Ridley Scott’s “Nottingham” begins filming in March.
Honestly, do I give a fuck? No, not really.
Monday’s Box Off Re-Structuring
Under my belief that good movies do not necessarily equate to box office success, and vice versa, every Monday I intend to do a top ten box office re-structuring, which is where I take the top ten box office films and re-order them according to their critical ranking (courtesy of MetaCritic) so folks can really see if what is good ever equals what is making the most money. So, for the box office of November 23 - November 25, 2007:
RANKED BY QUALITY
1 No Country for Old Men
2 American Gangster
3 Enchanted
4 This Christmas
5 The Mist
6 Beowulf
7 Bee Movie
8 Fred Claus
9 August Rush
10 Hitman
There you go, column precedent set out before you. Will every day be like this? Every Monday? Just how consistent with this thing be anyway?
Don’t know. I’d like it to be daily, but we’ll see. I already know a couple days this week will make that difficult, but I can try. Definitely Mondays though, I like the way it starts my week. Now listen/watch this, and your week will be complete as well:
Perhaps in search of this magic ingredient found in their wax, and Slusho drinks?
What was once a very suspicious corporate website featuring propaganda and news is now covered with a large picture of a shadowy figure looking down at a combination of sea creatures.
Spooky, and yet indicative of what is to come with “Cloverfield.”
A Cloverfield junkie who prefers to remain anonymous emailed me today giving a Youtube link to the new Cloverfield trailer.
While their gesture is very appreciated this new trailer’s quality is so awful I could barely make out what was happening. Look for it if you can, I’m guessing right now Paramount is scouting a thousand file sharing websites putting the kibosh on this bootleg.
However, it’s clear that by this new one JJ Abrams is intent on destroying the rumors, and yet still remains insistent on keeping the mystery of the movie and the monster.
Yes, there is one monster.
Yes, there are little monsters doing the dirty work while the huge monster wreaks havoc.
If you watch it closely, you can see someone being attacked, you can make out the shadow of a beast behind a white sheet, and there are only brief glimpses at the gigantic monster supposedly between two buildings.
Further answers will have to wait until it goes live next week, but that’s not stopping the Cloverfield junkies who are already picking the bootlegged trailer apart.
It’s chaotic, it’s horrifying, and you can hear characters screaming, “There’s Nothing We Can Do For You,” “Whatever it is it’s winning,” and of course the obvious declarations of “Run!” The premise is pretty much drawn out in this second one more specifically than the first.
Monster appears from nowhere, wreaks utter havoc on New York, and different characters will carry a camcorder around to film it on the intent that people will want to see what went down, as a character proclaims.
So far though, “Cloverfield” looks spectacular, and if it’s great, I can see myself going to experience it more than once.
As for the Jamie Loves Teddy video, I’m beginning to assume the videos may have taken place AFTER the monster attacks which would be why Jamie mentions “The Cause.”
Monday if and when the trailer goes live, I’ll definitely explain more about what I saw, and may even put some screengrabs up.
