Thanks to Matt Dentler’s blog for the heads-up on this story:

MOSS BLUFF, Florida (AP) — A man was arrested and accused of fatally beating his roommate with hammers because there was no toilet paper in their home, police said.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide, according to a spokesman with the Marion County Sheriff’s Office. Crow is accused in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, the spokesman said. Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but later confessed during questioning. Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle…

Wow, so one guy pulls a rifle, the other guy goes for hammers and… the guy with the rifle loses!?! Wha?
Mental note: stock up on toilet paper… NOW…

Posted on February 24, 2006 in Blogs by

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9 Comments on "WIPE YOUR ASS WITH THIS!!!"

  1. Michael Ferraro on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 4:26 am 

    Being the Florida resident that I am, that story is the talk of the state. That is all anyone talks about anymore.

    Great story.

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  2. Pete on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 7:02 am 

    Memo to self: buy TP before heading home.

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  3. damaged justice on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 7:26 am 

    I don’t know if it’s obscure enough, but has Film Threat ever reviewed the Marcel Marceau film “Shanks”? I caught it once on the Sci-Fi channel, I think it was, and it was one of those surreal moments when I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, especially on television. Would be great to see even a cut-rate version on DVD.

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  4. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 9:43 am 

    Memo to self: Buy TP at Wal-Mart when there’s no one in the aisle.

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  5. Mark Bell on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 11:25 am 

    “Buy TP at Wal-Mart when there’s no one in the aisle.”

    It’s toilet paper, Rory. Not condoms.

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  6. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 11:40 am 

    You never know when a psycho with two hammers will come up behind me and strike my brains through my ears for buying the wrong kind. Then again, my folks are in that aisle. I’m usually rooting through the $5.50 DVD bin anyway.

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  7. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 11:56 am 

    And besides, if it was condoms, I sure as hell wouldn’t be ashamed. ;)

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  8. Don on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 2:33 pm 

    If you were buying condoms, Rory….I’d be shocked. Then I’d ask what movie you’re shooting that needs blood squibs.

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  9. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 24th Feb 2006 2:54 pm 

    And then I’d answer you that I was amateurishly attempting a horror film that required nothing but blood squibs and decapitations. Whether live or staged, I’d still be deciding. ;)

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