CHRIS GORE RIDES A UNICORN WITH A LEPRECHAUN.

CHRIS GORE RIDES A UNICORN WITH A LEPRECHAUN.

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Chris Gore and Michael Ferraro reunite after years of unwanted seperation.

It’s been a few days since I’ve been able to report on festival events but this story is just too good for me to continue sitting around, waiting for the wireless to work again here at the press office. Actually, now it’s about 11:59 in whatever time zone I am in and I just discovered that the Las Vegas airport has free wi-fi. This story is so good that I will somehow get it online for you fine and loyal readers to experience as well.

His feelings were abused like a wife with an alcoholic husband. How could something so silly turn into something so nightmarish? I begin our story in the next paragraph.

It’s Friday night and I headed to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino for a rather large and extravagant party by the pool. As I stand in line to get in, Film Threat’s supermodel and fatherly figure Chris Gore walks towards me. He notices me immediately, then heads in my direction.

“”Dude”¦ I almost just got thrown out my man,” Gore says with a sad look on his face.

“”What for dude?” I ask.

“”Christina Ricci’s publicist threatened to have me escorted off the premises.”

Oh yeah, Christina Ricci was there, along with Helen Mirren.

I think it’s safe to say that everyone in the film world, especially in the independent world, knows who Chris Gore is. I am willing to bet my next paycheck (I like to keep things small and affordable) that Christina Ricci is one of those people. I also think it’s safe to assume that everyone reading this knows who Christina Ricci is. Pecker, Buffalo 66, Pumpkin and That Darn Cat are only a few examples of the sorts of films she has starred in.

Everyone (most of you anyway) can somewhat agree that Ricci is also hot. No matter what, she is a good-looking chick (except for that Ally McBeal phase, when she became skinnier than an Olsen Twin on crack).

The following story is a complete account of those who were there (Gore) and those who were not there to witness the account firsthand (Ferraro).

Chris Gore wanders about the party, with his Zoolander-like mannerisms, grabbing a cocktail and some free nibbles the hostesses walk by him with. He finally makes his way to the one and only Christina Ricci (on the red carpet section), who is in Vegas to support a screening of The Opposite of Sex and to receive an award of some kind.

“”Hey Christina, what’s up?” says Gore.

“”Nothing too much Gore, how’s it hanging pal? Still running that website?” asks Ricci.

“”You know it.”

Gore pauses for a bit and sips his drink. There is an awkward pause and Ricci’s mannerisms make it clear that she desperately wants someone else to come up and talk to her, or maybe it’s that look of, “”I need to get the fuck out of here. I’m Christina Ricci, bitch.” Gore continues to think of something to say. He glances over towards her, notices her outfit and how “˜sexy’ it is, then finally comes up with the perfect question.

“”So, do you think you could have worn something a little more sexy?” Gore asks sarcastically.

Did you notice that word “”sarcastically”? It’s Christina Ricci; obviously she looks good. It’s not like he was asking this question to Paris Hilton or something.

Gore then told me, “”I think that was the start of it.”

Her publicist looked a little frazzled at the question. Not too sure why; it was clearly a question aimed for a laugh. But maybe Christina Ricci doesn’t laugh. Her publicist doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor either. I think Ricci may need a new one. As long as it isn’t Tom Cruise’s.
Gore continues to relive the account, “”Then I thought I would ask her about her tattoos”¦ I think that was the wrong thing to do.”

He says, “”So, about (insert percentage here) of the population has tattoos and from what I understand, thanks to a certain publication’s cover, you have some tattoos of your own”¦”

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He brings up the cover of a magazine that had Ricci on the cover, with her breasts bulging beautifully, to show a partially revealed tattoo on one of the breasts in question.

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Gore then asks her about tattoos but her publicist wasn’t interested in having her client (Ricci) answer such questions. Why get a tattoo if you don’t want to talk about it? That’s like buying a vibrator and not installing the batteries.

Ricci’s publicist then warns Gore with, “”She isn’t going to answer these questions. You know, I could have you thrown off the premises.”

Gore was as shocked as this humble narrator.

“”So I am just leaving to avoid any further conflict,” Gore says.

It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in folks. And it’s getting stranger by the day. Next time you bump into a celebrity of such worthy esteem, leave the questions in your mouth. As Johnny Cash once sang on Sesame Street, “”Don’t bring your ones to town Bird, just leave your ones at home son.”

Stay tuned for more missing blog entries from the CineVegas Film Festival this coming week.




Posted on June 17, 2006 in Blogs by
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3 Comments on "CHRIS GORE RIDES A UNICORN WITH A LEPRECHAUN."

  1. gigi on Sat, 17th Jun 2006 11:46 pm 

    Shall we all start the PayPal bail fund for the boys now?

    Mike, you know you are hotter than a two dollar pistol, but what is with the Al-Zaqawi look? ;)


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  2. Michael Ferraro on Sun, 18th Jun 2006 4:01 am 

    You know, a filmmaker I met here called me Osama. What, no love for beards? Thanks for the compliment prior to the terrorist comment.


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  3. Don Lewis on Sun, 18th Jun 2006 12:05 pm 

    Christina Ricci is this years Matt Dillon…without the “NO!”


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