I KNOW WHO KILLED CHRIS FARLEY.

I KNOW WHO KILLED CHRIS FARLEY.

“Dude, have you ever seen Tommy Boy?” asked Fat Steve.

“Unfortunately,” I reply.

“What, you didn’t think that movie was funny?”

“No, I sure didn’t.”

Fat Steve then goes into a brief description of everything that was supposed to be funny about that film. I just stood there, not laughing at anything he described, and he looked at me like I was insane. I never found anything about that film funny. In fact, I’ve never found anything funny about Chris Farley. Not his Saturday Night Live schtick, not Black Sheep or Beverly Hills Ninja, nothing about this man was ever funny. I think it’s safe to say that Chris Farley was the probably the most un-funny person on the planet, outside of Pauly Shore or Adam Sandler.

If you are a Farley fan, think of all the stuff he ever did to make you laugh. Chippendales (pardon my spelling if that’s wrong)? Fat Guy in a Little Coat? I guess those things are funny, if you’re a complete idiot.

When I was in Vegas, for Cinevegas, I had the grave misfortune of seeing one of the worst movies I have ever been subjected to. I haven’t walked out of a film since 2001’s Rollerball. Almost 5 years of not walking out of movies. I was feeling pretty good. I mean, I didn’t walk out of War of the Worlds or Spider-man. But this one film was worse than both of those combined.

I grabbed a seat next to Mark Bell. The film started and, for the next 40 minutes anyway, there were fart jokes galore and fat people running in slow motion. At about the 20-minute mark, I leaned over to Bell and said, “Dude, I don’t think I can handle too much more of this.” 20 minutes later, I did it. I left the theater. The film in question you ask? Nacho Libre, a film structured around countless fart jokes (not one of them funny) and fat people (both kids and adults) wearing clothing designed to garner a laugh.

I don’t think fat people are funny. I don’t think fat people running in slow motion are funny. I don’t think Jack Black running in super slow motion with sweat pants so tight you can see his dong flop around is funny. I don’t think fat kids in tight clothing are funny. Nacho Libre is all of these things and then some. In the 40 minutes I saw of it anyways. My original plan actually was to write about how fucking awful this film is but then Fat Steve brought up Farley.

When I first heard that Chris Farley died, I wasn’t really affected by it. I didn’t know the dude and he never made me laugh. The only thing that saddened me was an image of David Spade on the tube sapping because he just lost his good friend.

Chris Farley died of an overdose but I am willing to bet a dollar that the extra weight surrounding him only helped the situation. Farley loved making people laugh and people loved to laugh at him going crazy, throwing his fat body around, tearing clothes and breaking coffee tables. One thing Farley fans can never do, is tell me something he said or did that was funny that didn’t involve his weight.

Since Chris Farley loved making people laugh, and people only laughed at his weight, he wasn’t in a hurry to try and lose some of it. If he did, maybe he wouldn’t have been so depressed and maybe, he’d be alive today. But this is only a speculation, like many things in my life.

Who killed Chris Farley? You did. The guy with Tommy Boy on his DVD shelf. The guy with the SNL DVD with the “best of” Farley on it. Fat Steve did it. You killed him. And I hope it feels good.

Chris Farley.jpg




Posted on June 28, 2006 in Blogs by
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41 Comments on "I KNOW WHO KILLED CHRIS FARLEY."

  1. Jeremy Knox on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 6:54 am 

    I always thought Chef Boyardee killed Chris Farley. With Aunt Jemima and Betty Crocker serving as accessories before the fact.


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  2. Mark Bell on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 8:54 am 

    You posed this to me at Cinevegas and I thought I came up with a number of funny Tommy Boy moments (deer ripping the car to shreds, Spade opening the door and it falls off (“what’d you do?”), the explanation of what happens if you use the competitor’s brake pads) that didn’t involve Farley’s weight so I can’t let you say that “One thing Farley fans can never do, is tell me something he said or did that was funny that didn’t involve his weight.” when, you know, I DID tell you…


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  3. Michael Ferraro on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 9:02 am 

    You may have told me but I may not have agreed. The deer thing… don’t get it. “What’d you do?” I guess I may give you that one. 2 examples out of an entire career do not make a funny person. Farley is such an example.


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  4. Mark Bell on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 9:20 am 

    I agreed with a majority of your points, but for me there were moments when the funny wasn’t weight-related. They just weren’t often, especially after Tommy Boy (which I quote more than re-enact, which shows that the physical comedy, while a part of it, wasn’t the most endearing aspect).


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  5. Murray on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 10:32 am 

    Well Jack Black is still laughing his way to bank while you bitch about somthing that does not even matter


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  6. Michael Ferraro on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 10:45 am 

    Because the guy has money, therefore he is funny?

    I love the whole “…all the way to the bank” argument. Because Michael Jackson has (maybe it’s ‘had’ these days), I can not make fun of him or hate on him. Who cares that he sleeps with little boys, he has money! Therefore, he must be good.

    Quite the interesting argument Murray.


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  7. Don Lewis on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 5:59 pm 

    The scene where Spade is bragging about his car and then Farley’s MnM’s fall into the heater vents on the dash is LOL funny. Farley had his moments. You probably like Horatio Sanz, Mike.


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  8. stina on Wed, 28th Jun 2006 6:25 pm 

    are you calling me an idiot? i love fat guy in a little coat. i live in van down by the river.

    did you eat paint chips when you were little. why. housekeeping.

    Tommy Boy is one of my favorite movies. true, Black Sheep & BH Ninja werent so funny.

    i possibly like david spade more…. is that like three strikes against me?


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  9. Murray on Thu, 29th Jun 2006 6:52 am 

    I’m not making the argument that money makes you funny. I’m just saying who cares that you don’t think that a particular style of comedy is not funny to you. When the majority of people that have seen the movies that you sited say that they are funny, so why do you feel the need to bash them?

    I guess I would like to ask you what is funny to you?


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  10. Michael Ferraro on Thu, 29th Jun 2006 5:00 pm 

    When kids fall down and cry in public.

    Everytime that happens near me, and I witness it, I almost die.

    That is what makes me laugh.


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  11. gigi on Thu, 29th Jun 2006 11:01 pm 

    Im sorry, I LOVE Chris Farley. He was unique and original, and threw himself totally into making people laugh…uninhibited in the coolest way. I loved his SNL stuff…I accept my idiocy title. :)


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  12. Michael Ferraro on Fri, 30th Jun 2006 4:38 am 

    But do you accept the murderer title I am giving you?


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  13. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 30th Jun 2006 9:14 pm 

    “When the majority of people that have seen the movies that you sited say that they are funny, so why do you feel the need to bash them?”

    Because Mike isn’t the “majority of people” and since this is Film Threat, many viewpoints are accepted and since there’s lots of words on all kinds of movies, why not the ones with bad comedy?


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  14. Rory L. Aronsky on Fri, 30th Jun 2006 9:15 pm 

    And also, it’s a movie and Chris Farley was in many movies, so there’s a logic to writing and ranting about it.


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  15. Felix Vasquez Jr. on Sat, 1st Jul 2006 1:46 pm 

    I’m not a Farley fan. I just outgrew him, no pun intended.

    He’s just a guy who screams and throws himself into things. And how can people keep using that argument: “If everyone likes it, it must be good”?

    So what? Just because a majority of people like “Jackass” that means I’m automatically wrong because I hate it?

    Same deal with Michael. Michael hates Chris Farley, but just because many people enjoy his idiocy, doesn’t mean Michael is wrong.


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  16. David Sac J. on Mon, 3rd Jul 2006 12:36 pm 

    Great points about farley but I was first drawn to him on SNL not for the outlandish acts,but to see him get all the other actors to crack up that’s what made me laugh because otherwise farley was not as funny as others past because he consisted of other comedy performers Jerry Lewis/Chevy Chase and his idol John Belushi, the former for the prat falls and the latter for the zaniness of each of his characters and with his films he peaked with Tommy Boy yes peaked, black sheep was a half assed tommy boy part 2 and beverly hills ninja holy crap what a piece of crap! really nothing about it was ever funny it only helped launch chris rock into a line of other crappy films only certain people from SNL are destined for film stardom and the were called the not ready for primetime players and they were on in the 70’s nobody since then has deserved their own movies nobody, and damn you tim meadows for making ladies man into a movie may you burn in hell.
    so sorry that farley is dead but with an idol like Belushi maybe it was only fitting he copied him right to the very end.


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  17. Chris Gayler on Sun, 1st Oct 2006 9:14 pm 

    Well everyone has opinion about everything and we all like movies others may not.I can recall in Tommy Boy with Chris heads out for pizza and comes back and catches Richard at the motel window handling it while woman is nude in the pool had lmao and we he started saying spanky this and what not it was funny as hell.Chris Farley,John Candy,Richard Pryor were the only 3 who made me laugh but thats me others may have different opinions which is fine.Moral of the story i aint going bash anyone because i find or dont find someone funny out of respect.I`ll miss yea guys sad to see legends come and go.


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  18. greg on Sat, 21st Oct 2006 12:14 pm 

    DONT YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT SOMEONE WHO HAS DIED YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD! HOW DO YOU THINK HIS FAMILLY AND LOVED ONES FEEL THAT CHRIS CANT EVEN ESCAPE CRITICAL BASTARDS LIKE YOU EVEN AFTER HES DEAD! SHOW SOME REMOURCE. HES NOT TRYING TO ENTERTAIN YOU ANYMORE, HES DEAD! YOU DONT HAVE THAT RIGHT. THATS LIKE ME TELLING YOU YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS A JACKASS!!!!!


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  19. Philip Napier on Sun, 25th Feb 2007 7:05 pm 

    Surely I can agree with some things, like a few facts that you clearly stated above. True indeed he found a hard time finding something to make people laugh without using his weight, but an opinion is an opinion. If a brilliant man thought something you think is so stupid being funny, then you have your opinions as well. You can legally say something about someone, freedom of the press even states this. But unfortunately, Mr.Ferraro, I have my opinion, too. Along with that, a pure fact: People can find something utterly and disturbingly hilarious, while all at the same time be an outstanding genius with a good job. That’s the fact, and my opinion? My opinion is that you’re just an asshole. Chris Farley may not have been funny to you, but he had a heart. He cared about people. Can you argue with emotions? I’m afraid you can’t: Mental and emotional issues are two different things. Having not stooping down to your level, I’m going to close this topic in saying that Chris Farley was a good man who made me smile when I was down. Good day to you.

    [P.S. I’m Fourteen. :)]


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  20. Jim B on Fri, 11th May 2007 9:21 pm 

    The fact is that Chris made people laugh. He brought a little enjoyment into other peoples lives. Ferraro, you are a prick. you have a sad pathetic and pointless rant on someone who (even if he was alive) wouldn’t have cared for your senceless critique. You are obviously not the demographic for his comedy, and you were too stupid to realize it when you walked into the theater to see it.


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  21. your an asshole on Fri, 25th May 2007 5:53 pm 

    I hope you burn in hell for writing that shit.


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  22. hey there on Sun, 17th Jun 2007 10:34 pm 

    you are entitled to your opinion.

    i personally loved everything chris farley did. i never liked SNL. past or present. but i liked all the stuff that chris farley did.

    you maybe right about everyone laughing at him telling jokes about his weight made him in no hurry to lose weight. but it was his life and if he wanted it to use it in that way and to entertain millions of people.

    and there are some fat/overweight & funny comedians(sounds kinda mean) out there but i do agree with you that jack black isn’t one of them.

    and if you don’t like/care about chris farley then why did you take the time to write a fairly long article about him and us killing him. and drawing a picture of him to go with it.


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  23. Tom Farley on Fri, 6th Jul 2007 9:08 pm 

    Maybe, just maybe, you can state an opinion that Chris was never funny – on camera! But that is the only way you ever saw him. Those times on camera account for perhaps 5% of his life, and it was scripted. So you make a pretty ignorant argument.

    With the exception of the years I had to share a bedroom with Chris (which we’re NOT funny), there were plenty of times when Chris was extremely funny. He was an amazing character study, could read people perfectly, and had fantastic timing. Long before Chris died, or was even famous, our friends would gather and share “Chris stories”. They were ten times funnier than anything on film.

    But go ahead and make stupid remarks with no basis of knowledge backing them up. I guess you must watch a lot of Bill O’Reilly to think and argue in this way! Hey, knock yourself out. Nice drawing though.

    Tom Farley
    Brother


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  24. Film Threat Blogs » Blog Archive » Regarding Chris Farley… on Mon, 9th Jul 2007 7:59 am 

    […] Posted by Michael Ferraro in Writer’s Corner at 7:58 AM PDT A long time ago, June of 2006 to be exact, I wrote a story about Chris Farley. It was a rather mean-spirited article, which attacked the fans of Chris Farley, and one I almost forgot about. A week or so later, I wrote another article about him and how I may have been wrong. […]


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  25. jack black on Tue, 17th Jul 2007 9:28 pm 

    one thing i can say about chris farley is that he didnt have to sell his jokes by profane and obscene remarks unlike many comics today


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  26. jack black on Tue, 17th Jul 2007 9:29 pm 

    cris farley is the shittt!!!!!!!!


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  27. Film Threat Blogs » Blog Archive » The Chris Farley Conclusion… on Thu, 26th Jul 2007 10:40 am 

    […] A still from his best skit ever, The Chris Farley Show. As you may or may not recall, a few weeks ago Tom Farley (Chris Farley’s brother) responded to a blog I wrote a while back, which concerned his brother. […]


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  28. Dan Pename on Thu, 26th Jul 2007 10:28 pm 

    So you’re not a big fan of slap stick comedy? Nearly everything he did on film was physical comedy, aka slap stick. So I take it you’re not a big Three Stooges fan either?


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  29. Michael Ferraro on Fri, 27th Jul 2007 3:48 pm 

    I am somewhat of a fan of the Stooges… but think Dan. Did you read my article? What was I commenting on?

    Take your time.

    Think about it.

    There you go. I wasn’t making fun of slapstick as a whole. I was attacking his choice to use his weight as the punchline to his jokes.

    People aren’t laughing? Take your shirt off. Still not? Put on clothes too small for you and rip them. Still not? Throw yourself on a coffee table and break it.

    That’s what I hate. And that’s what killed him.


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  30. Dan Pename on Sat, 4th Aug 2007 10:18 am 

    Well, you are intitled to your opinion. Even if I disagree. There’s something about a fat guy throwing himself around that is just hilarius, but I dont’ think that killed him.


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  31. Mike Bennett on Mon, 27th Aug 2007 8:28 pm 

    This Ferraro guy is the saddest excuse ive heard of for a person in a long time! I myself am a huge fan of comedy and one of the best of all time CHRIS FARLEY. Chris was great i never got to meet him in person but the thing about him was that no matter how bad your day was or what situation you were OR STILL ARE TODAY all you have to do is watch one of his skits or films and you immediatly feel better! Chris used humor to do GOOD in this world! Something most people like the HATEFUL IDIOT Ferraro cannot begin to understand! So in a world that needs comedy and laughs to make people better as a whole we have been fortunate enough to have people like Chris Farley! You FERRARO ARE HATEFUL AND FULL OF ANGER AND IF YOU WOULD BEGIN TO TAKE A LESSON OUT OF CHRIS’S BOOK AND DO GOOD IN THIS WORLD INSTEAD OF SPREAD HATE YOU WOULD BE A BETTER PERSON TOO! AND I NEVER MET CHRIS BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT IF HE WERE HERE TODAY HE COULD MAKE EVEN A HATEFUL ANGRY PERSON LIKE FERRARO SMILE! Rest in Peace Chirs Farley and God Bless your Family.


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  32. jeremy on Mon, 10th Sep 2007 10:49 am 

    your comment means nothing this guy was comedy you are a tool and to me that is funny rip chris farley the world misses you


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  33. ANDREW M. on Tue, 11th Sep 2007 3:29 pm 

    RIP CHRIS TRULY MISSED


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  34. JEREMY JULIANO on Tue, 11th Sep 2007 3:35 pm 

    YOU ARE A TOOL CHRIS FARLEY WAS COMEDY DO THE WORLD A FAVOR TAKE YOUR LIFE RIP BIG BUDY TRULY MISSED


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  35. Mojoe on Fri, 16th Nov 2007 10:25 am 

    You are an evil little man who has nothing better to do with his time.Let me guess your a fat guy who is ashamed of his weight.I did’nt kill chris DRUGS DID!!! and addiction and deppresion are hard things to fight ive seen it first hand.The worst part of your whole shpeel is that your attacking someone who cannot defend himself cuz hes dead.it is your right to bitch cuz of the first ammendmant but it also shows what kind of person you are a sad little pathetic man who has nothing to do and more than likely does’nt have any friends.

    Rest in piece Chris Farley you were a good man


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  36. Nathan on Tue, 10th Jul 2012 1:10 am 

    This was even worse than Kurvos’s crappy Tangled review. You and him should both rot in hell.

    Insulting the memory of John Belushi, John Candy and Chris Farley like that is just plain wrong.

    Show some respect, man.


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  37. dee on Sun, 10th Mar 2013 8:28 am 

    I am about to comment on something written over five years ago, wow thats sad. Although I wouldn’t have put it exactly how you did, mike, I couldn’t agree more on the subject of whether he was funny. I also don’t think he was particularly funny. I think he had talent, but take away the weight element…..belushi was hysterical, and sure he did “physical comedy” but he was funny with or without it. If you look at all of farley’s most well known scenes it all has to do with his weight. Whether it was tumbling down a hill, getting his tie stuck in a toilet, doing a chippendales skit, flying through the air, that “down by the river” skit(he kept adjusting his pants to emphasize his girth). Again, not saying he wasn’t talented-he was and not saying he wasn’t a good person to his friends and loved ones. Just not funny, without his weight.


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  38. Rick Kisonak on Tue, 12th Mar 2013 11:18 am 

    Fascinating to follow the arc of this meditation on Chris Farley’s comedy. It’s all subjective in the end, I guess but, for my money, he was one of the near greats and not just when he was making fat jokes. His interview with Sir Paul is an absolute classic and the interplay between Farley and Spade was often hugely entertaining without having anything to do with being huge.


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  39. Liam on Sat, 8th Jun 2013 1:37 am 

    I hate whoever wrote this. That’s hard for me to say because I don’t really hate anyone. Chris Farley loved to make people laugh since he was a little kid. Way before he cared about his weight. I found Tommy Boy funny because of the jokes, granted, some jokes were about his weight, but not most of them. He was big, and some of his skits on SNL were about his weight, but no one ever meant any harm, and everyone loved him for him. He’s known for being very energetic and fun. So the way you judge him makes YOU sound like an uptight judge mental prick like you know everything about him. People love Chris for Chris, and it’s sad to see someone who thinks people love him and his jokes because he’s fat. “Tommy Boy” is a classic and seeing a person who doesn’t like it is one thing. But this? This makes Chris look like a fool, he was the opposite, the author should really get to know who the actor is before making a terrible thought. It’s your opinion, but at least get to know who the real Chris Farley was.


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  40. STFilmmaker on Sat, 25th Jan 2014 11:10 pm 

    First of all I want to say you are very entitled to your opinion. However that said I would like to say you Michael Ferraro, are the most horrible disgusting person on the planet to accuse the fans of murder.

    It is true, depending on the age of the audience that we have differing views on what makes Chris Farley funny. Kids would say that it’s because he’s fat, loud and gets hurt. However when said kids would grow up to be adults they understand and observe and come up with other reasons. For example, despite his girth, one of Chris’ defining traits is that he is very athletic. He cartwheels, he flips and even shows surprising amounts of skill in martial arts. A trait not unlike comic genius John Belushi who also died a similar way. Another is that he mastered the secret of successful comedy, timing. His soft talk to loud yell while a common character trait are hard to predict. But I ramble on.

    If anyone killed Chris Farley, it’s guys like you.


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  41. Tucker on Mon, 27th Jan 2014 3:25 pm 

    Haha these people getting angry are pretty funny. I like Tommy Boy and Black Sheep but I don’t have a lot of respect for Chris. Most of why I like those two movies is the snarky comebacks from David Spade. That being said Chris was a very one dimensional comedic actor. He’s that guy that should only be a small character in a funnier comedian’s movie. Kinda like Jack Black. I really don’t like JB but when he plays a small part like the biker in anchorman it seems to work pretty well. Like Farley’s performance as the bus driver in Billy Madison. I agree with you for the most part but I think it would be a hell of a lot more fair if you named some comedians that you like so we can see whether or not calling every Farley fan an idiot is warranted. I mean you might like shows that I think are moronic like 30 Rock or Big Bang Theory. You just might like some other brand of stupid comedy.


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