I went to a midnight screening of the second Pirates of the Caribbean on the eve of its official release and couldn’t remember a single thing about it when I woke up the next day. I am not sure if it was the cans of Foster’s me and my friends brought with us into the theater that might have helped this or if my short-term memory was starting to fade.
This didn’t happen with other films however. This is the first time it ever happened. I even remember going to a press screening of Les Mayfield’s The Man, one of the worst films in recent memory, and the fact that it has a fart joke involving nuns.
In order to prepare myself for this new Pirates film, I decided to Netflix the second one, so I can see that which I do not recall. I got it in the mail yesterday and popped it on. All I can say is this: that movie is a lot longer without the assistance of some canned Fosters. I think I started it at 5:30pm or so and it ended just after 8pm. Damn, how much pirate action can a single person take?
Then I woke up this morning, pondering what I could blog about for the six people who actually read this daily, when it happened again. I seriously have no fucking recollection of the film I just watched mere hours ago.
So let me give this a good thinking… I remember something about a giant wheel and a sword fight. I remember something about Kiera Knightley having to disguise herself as a man while on board a ship. But does she really have to ‘disguise’ herself? I remember watching Domino and almost wanting to kill myself when she showed her chest. It was like I was staring at Steve McCollum from my Little League baseball team from my youth all those years ago. Why does that chick look so much like a dude? Why are my non-existent boobs bigger than hers? Why do people think she is hot? She is like the older sister of the Olsen twins or something. Just as creepy and just as gross.
My brain goes on that Kiera Knightley tangent and prevents any further memories of the film. I remember two or three things about it and I just watched it not even a day ago.
There are 8:00pm screenings of the third Pirates film all over the country tonight. Being the theater-going geek that I am, I will make the journey to Universal Studios to view the film in their spectacular AMC Loews Cineplex. Cans of Fosters will no doubt be in my man-purse. The real question now is, will I remember this film in the morning?
Posted on May 24, 2007 in Blogs by Michael Ferraro
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