Sometimes I’ll be reading the news and come across something so utterly fucking retarded that it makes my blood come to an immediate boil.
Get this, apparently Rachael Ray (Who’s Sicilian and not at all Muslim and/or a Terrorist as Wikipedia so kindly informs me.) has had her Dunkin Donuts ad pulled from TV because apparently she’s endorsing Hamas in it by wearing a scarf, which is actually a super secret way of saying that she hearts Osama. Now, normally I cheer when an ad is pulled because it amuses me greatly to see stuff like that happen. I like seeing shills fail, and I especially like seeing ads fail. However, the reason behind the pull is such bullshit that it actually sapped out all the joy I might have felt from this.
In the ad, Ray is wearing a Keffiyeh. It’s the white thing around her neck for the uninitiated:
See, worn in a non-stylish “Sex in the city” fantabulous way it looks more like this usually:
FOX News says it symbolizes Palestinian Terrorists. Actually… No. It symbolizes a hat. That’s all. That some terrorists choose to wear it doesn’t make it a symbol. Most actually don’t even wear the fucking thing, they tend to favor Balaclavas with a bandanna over it, not Keffiyehs. So ski masks are bad too? Bandannas are out?
Can’t wear a beret because people might thing I’m supporting Che Gueverra, can’t wear a Kepi because that’s too much like Charles De Gaulle, can’t wear a military cap like Fidel Castro because I’d be pro Communist, can’t wear a cowboy hat because then I’m a redneck, can’t wear a Confederate Flag baseball cap because everyone would think I like Lynyrd Skynyrd. Shit people, I’m running out of things to cover my bald spot!!!
What’s next? Get offended at Toyota pickups and AK-47s because terrorists use them? Old Toyota trucks are the number one choice in transportation for ragtag armies; and the AK has murdered more American soldiers than any other weapon since the beginning of time. I don’t see anyone banning their importation.
The most absolutely surreal thing about this though, is that OUR side also uses the fucking keffiyeh. They call it a Shemagh. The Navy SEALS, the British SAS and other special forces people wear it all the time.
Think THEY’RE supporting Palestine by wearing it? I don’t think so. I also don’t think Michele Malkin, the pundit who started the whole fucking thing, would have the balls to suggest it. Ray was just an easy target that she used to make a non existent point about nothing. What a fucking idiot. It’s not enough that brave men like the SEALS have to constantly worry about being killed by the enemy, now they have to worry that they may have to use sub-standard face protection against sand because some dumb cunt at FOX couldn’t keep her mouth shut and very consciously tried to create a moral panic about Arabic head covering.
Oh, and now I hear that Ray was only wearing an ordinary scarf all along. Which is an understandable mistake on behalf of the people who bitched, considering that a keffiyeh/shemagh IS JUST A FUCKING SCARF TOO.
What a made up, bullshit controversy. Some people deserve to be repeatedly punched in the ovaries for wasting the valuable time I could have spent looking at internet porn with these moronisms.
Posted on June 2, 2008 in Blogs by Jeremy Knox
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