EXCESS HOLLYWOOD: STARK RAVING MAD

I really did not want to write about this. I wanted to avoid it like I do those underage girls at the mall some guys still find kind of tempting. Every other entertainment journalist was hitting on it, and even the mainstream news was covering it. I, on the other hand, wanted to steer far clear of this mess that is Mel Gibson. So why write about it now?

Because not a single report that I read or watched got it right.

First of all, the thing that should be pissing people off eight ways to Sunday is not his views on the Jewish people of the world, or the lovely moniker “sugar tits.” It’s the fact that he was stupid enough and selfish enough to get behind the wheel of a vehicle drunk beyond belief and actually attempt to make his way home. How fucking reckless can a man get? I don’t care that he could’ve killed himself — in fact, I’d probably laugh if that happened. I often do that very thing when a drunk wraps his car around a tree at ninety. Call me morbid, but I believe in Social Darwinism. No, what irritates me about his actions is that Mad Mel’s vehicular Russian roulette could’ve wiped out some innocent people. That’s what the American public should be outraged about. Lunatics drinking alcohol and getting behind the wheel are a huge problem.
That’s why we have police checkpoints and public service announcements. A good portion of the drinking public isn’t mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with being able to drink, so they need these things to keep them from killing the rest of us. Shitfaced Mel should’ve known better. He’s played enough cop roles that some of that crap should’ve rubbed off on him.

That’s not what angered people, though. That’s not even what made up the bulk of the reports. No. People were shocked and pissed that he raged against the Jews and was a little sexist to boot. Big fucking deal.

As much as I despise racism, people have a right to be that way. It doesn’t matter that he’s a closet racist, too scared to voice his opinions except when he’s drunk. He has a right to hate Jews, blacks, Mexicans, Americans — whomever. It just doesn’t matter. He exposed his hate. Avoid him. Mock him. Agree with him. Do whatever. Just don’t get outraged. He has an opinion. It sucks. Expressing shock and dismay that Mr. Gibson, who has had these accusations thrown at him in the past (not to mention accusations of being homophobic), would say such things is utterly pointless. These shocked people, like Mel, are obviously idiots. Being appalled by that kind of thinking and talk only proves that you’re either as big an idiot as the racist, or have your head buried so far up your ass that you can’t see how racist the world really is.

And as for that “sugar tits” comment — I know plenty of women who would love to hear those words come out of his mouth. They probably wouldn’t care if they were followed by some slurs against the Jews, either. He’s a star, and for some people anything he says (except that Jews start all the wars) is like the word of God.

Watching Hollywood agents and producers get upset about this just proved my point that these people are so self-centered that they have lost touch with the world. I don’t think that Jews are responsible for wars. I don’t think you can paint any large group of people with such broad brush strokes and have it hold up to any kind of scrutiny, even though I do it myself when it comes to studio executives, pampered celebrities and people who are shocked by racist remarks. I also don’t think it’s surprising that people hate Jews. But then again, I haven’t isolated myself in a world composed solely of my own views like so many others have.

It’s easy to kick a man when he’s down, and Mel was down soon after this report first surfaced (though by the time this column appears he could be the darling of the jet set again). Nobody was coming to his defense (though some stars have started to), but I have to wonder what all these agents and producers will be saying if the public forgets about this and is ready to see his movies again. Will they suddenly proclaim that he’s a changed man, or will they have the guts to stand up and speak the truth? Will they say, “We’re in it for the money. We don’t care if he hates Jews or loves them. We just want to get our hands on the teats of that Gibson cash cow.”? And I’m not saying that the agents are greedy Jews (I’ll leave that to Mel). I’m saying that Hollywood is a greedy place that likes to take a stand … when it won’t hurt the bottom line. Hollywood executives, like most Americans, make morals a matter of convenience.

If you need to get angry about anything here, get pissed about the fact that he could have killed someone. He could have hit a family of four coming home from the airport, returning from a summer vacation that ended far too quickly. He could have hit a young lady just trying to get home after breaking up with her boyfriend during what she thought was the “absolute worst night” of her life. He could have hit a father going to work so he could buy his two kids some new clothes and keep a roof over their heads. Get vexed about some racism? Come on. That’s just sad. Racism is the playground of the uneducated and morally weak, people who usually whisper in the dark amongst their own kind. Expressing outrage at these people is like being hurt that a child calls you a “big meanie.”

My advice to Gibson? Be as racist as you want. The damage you’ll cause will be minimal. Don’t drink and drive, though. That damage is often irreversible. Understand that, Sugar Tits?




Posted on August 24, 2006 in Features by
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