THE BEST OF BOND

BEST BOND GIRL

1. Halle Berry as Jinx in Die Another Day (2002) – The only Bond girl to totally hold her own against Bond.

2. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in “Goldfinger” (1964) – A great name, sexy as hell and an attitude that only quits after her body does.

3. Michelle Yoeh as Wai Lin in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) – She’s hot and she kicks a whole lotta ass in this film.

Honorable Mention: Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in “Goldeneye” (1995) – If I were going to get killed, my choice of death would to be crushed between her legs.

BEST NAME FOR A BOND GIRL

1. Pussy Galore from “Goldfinger” (1964) – I can’t believe they got this through the censors!

2. Holly Goodhead from “Moonraker” (1979) – Sounds like a screenwriter’s joke that was taken seriously.

3. Octopussy from “Octopussy” (1983) – By this time, they were just getting silly.

WORST BOND GIRL

1. Lois Childs as Holly Goodhead in “Moonraker” (1979) – She didn’t even try to act. Even her “Oh, James” sounded like it was read off a cue card!

2. Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough (1999) – She’s more of a high-school cheerleader than a Bond girl – and she plays a completely unconvincing nuclear scientist to boot – almost as unbelievable as Elizabeth Shue’s brilliant scientists in “The Saint” and Hollow Man.

3. Grace Jones as May Day in “A View to a Kill” (1985) – She exemplified the “What the hell was that?” factor in this film, and her midnight romp with 60-year-old Roger Moore was enough to completely warp the sexuality of any pre-teen boy seeing this movie.

DIShonorable mention: Kim Basinger as Domino Petachi in “Never Say Never Again” (1983) – Sure, this isn’t a “real” Bond film, but her performance was so lame in it that it was worth mentioning. Can you believe she won an Oscar 10 years later?

More Bond in part five of THE BEST OF BOND>>>




Posted on June 3, 2003 in Features by

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