Canada, What happened to You?

[Furious D]

I'm starting to worry about my country. We've got a stick shoved so far up our collective arse, it's coming out our ears.

The other night Conan O'Brien was doing his show from Toronto and he sent Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to Quebec City to rag on the Quebecois.

Well, are the Quebecois pissed off now. They're ranting and raving about their treatment at the hands of this evil puppet and have demanded and recieved apologies from the Province of Ontario and the Canadian network that airs Conan locally.

As a born Canadian I have only one thing to say.

HE'S A FRIGGING PUPPET!!!

What happened to our sense of humour? Are we so scared of offending Quebec that we can't even let a silly puppet out on the streets? Come on!!

Quebec should lighten up. Thanks to an old constitutional compromise they have a deadlock on our electoral process, thus insuring that they remain a centre of power despite their shrinking population.

In Canada you can't become Prime Minister unless you speak fluent French and represent a Quebec riding. Any PM from outside La Belle Province usually lasts in office somewhere between five and ten minutes before he or she's politically bladed.

As I speak a massive scandal is arising where our Federal government pissed away billions just to keep their friends in Quebec happy. Yes, I said billions

Relax Quebec, you still control Canada's future. You can still violate our constitution with impunity and dominate our crippled military. You can still suck our Federal coffers dry and then demand to break away and form your own country, as long you still get Canadian money. Let the stupid dog have his day.

I'm sorry to rant, but I just can't stand seeing my country looking like a pack of jabbering gasbags over a silly dog puppet.

[Pete Vonder Haar]

First Eminem, now Quebec. That Triumph is going to be found in a ditch with a double-tap to the head if he's not careful.

[The Baron]

I'm only going to state the obvious:

They're French.

I think that pretty much puts it in perspective. :p

[Furious D]

Originally posted by The Baron
I'm only going to state the obvious:

They're French.

I think that pretty much puts it in perspective. :p

I just think it's so stupid, what were they expecting from a puppets whose motto is "That (something) is great. For me to Poop On!!"

I'm surprised he didn't make fun of Quebec's heroic intake of cigarrettes. In Canada there's an old joke that they smoke in Quebec like it's a cure for cancer.

Sadly, we have to walk on pins and needles when it comes to our Quebecois brethren. A good example is our "Heritage Moments." These are little 30 second TV reenactments of events from Canadian history. Most are fluffy moments about the creation of Superman, yes he's Canadian, and the discovery of dinosaur bones out west.

They haven't done anything on how the British took the French Fortress of Louisbourg, twice, by using the same trick. Nor has there been anything done on the Battle of the Plains of Abraham where the last French Army was defeated in Quebec. As a matter of fact, the only reference made to the Anglo-French conflicts that make up the bulk of our early history, is a reenactment of how a French commander named Frontenac fought off a raid by Anglo-American colonial forces. Judging by that you'd think they'd won all the wars.

But we can't have them talk about real history. That might offend Quebec and they might want to separate. Lord knows we don't want that...:rolleyes:

[Peter_Lowry]

Coming from someone who currently resides in Newfoundland, a province that was for decades the butt our nation's jokes... I think the people of Quebec need to take a chill pill and realize that Conan and his dumb 'Ed the Sock' wannabe puppet are not worth the effort or energy.

The same goes for the rage going on over what Don Cherry said on HNIC. The frenchies need to get a grip and remember that we all live in a country were people are guarenteed the freedom of expression and that isn't restricted to politically correct expression either!

What the people of Quebec should have done was turn the other cheek and not give this lame puppet the publicity that Conan and his producers were looking for when they made the comments. They fell for it hook, line and sinker and who is stupid enough to think that it was never part of the plan?

Peter

[The Baron]

I don't know which is worse: the outrage of the Quebecois over the toilet humor of a hand puppet, or the national upheaval in the USA over breast.

I am ever-amazed at the foolishness of the human race.

For what it's worth, Conan O'Brien doesn't deserve the publicity he's getting over all of this. I've worked with the man and, in my opinion, he is the single most arrogant prick I've ever met. (Which is saying something, because in my 30+ years in show business, I've met some real asshats.)

Alas, I believe the world needs an enema.

[Jeremy Knox]

Well, since I'm french AND from Quebec I'll add my 2 cents.

I think what pissed people off the most was the comparing of France and Quebec. French Canadians freaking DETEST the French in France. You think Americans hate the french? You should see people in Quebec. They REALLY hate the French.

Also, I think the news blew this out of proportion. I don't know ONE person who even watches Conan here, much less would be offended by a stupid muppet.

Personally, I never liked Triumph, I never thought the bit was funny from the get-go. However, I don't see the big deal about it.

As for the French/English thing in Canada. I think the problem lies in the fact that people in Quebec don't empathise with the rest of Canada and the rest of Canada doesn't empathise with Quebec.

My dad, who is not anti-english (In fact, he let me watch all the english programs and read all the english books I wanted as a kid) used to tell me stories about not being served in certain restaurants or not getting jobs because you were french. I mean, that's fucked up.

What the french don't seem to want to realize is that the assholes who did the shit above weren't representive of the rest of Canada. They were just rich jerks who HAPPENED to be English and used the language thing to take a dump on people they felt were beneath them. They were maybe 1% of the country at the time and now a lot of em are dead. French people need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that

However, on the flipside you have English Canadians who seem to think that the whole of Quebec meets on Sunday nights to discuss seperation. Again, this is false. I know a few people who hate the english, but know what? THEY'RE ASSHOLES! Most of Quebec doesn't want to seperate.
Also, there is a bias here. When British Columbia threatens to seperate it barely makes the news and is never taken as an "offence". When some dumb Quebec politician tries to stir up seperatism it's all over the news like it's the biggest threat to the country ever. Not to mention all the people who are offended about how Quebec doesn't want to be Canadian. Um... how is this different of when BC does it?

So heres the problem:

1% Hateful People + 50% Stupid People + 35% News making a big deal out of nothing + Stupid Muppet = BIG pain in the ass...

I think the lesson to be learned here is don't compare people who hate the french TO the french and you should be okay :D

JK13

[Furious D]

You made some good points, but I do have to point a few things out myself.

The reason BC separation didn't become a big news story because it was one has-been loudmouthed senator who was proposing it. To this date BC hasn't elected a single separatist party member to either its Provincial Legislature or the Federal Parliament.

Nor has any BC politicians called the Canadian Flag a "red rag," or claim to be offended by its presence with the Canadian Winter Olympic team.

Nor did BC vote 49.5% to separate. To paraphrase former Quebec Premier Parizaeu they didn't need the 'money and ethnic' vote to keep them in Canada.

That's why it didn't get everyone worked up.

[judex]

Yea, whatever happened to the Canada of David Cronenberg. In those days, if some puppet offended them, they would take the initative. Infest the puppet with a four-inch long venereal disease worm and be done with it.

[Jeremy Knox]

Originally posted by Furious D
Nor has any BC politicians called the Canadian Flag a "red rag," or claim to be [b]offended by its presence with the Canadian Winter Olympic team.

Yah, but those politicians are jerks. Don't get me started on people here who hate Canada. I've given them soooooo much shit over the years.
I'm glad that I don't have an accent when I talk in english. That way when french people ask me "What are ya?" I tell em I'm english and when english people ask, I tell em I'm french. I kind of thrive on chaos eh? :D


Nor did BC vote 49.5% to separate. To paraphrase former Quebec Premier Parizaeu they didn't need the 'money and ethnic' vote to keep them in Canada.

It's weird, I'm 100% against seperation but I really enjoy tweaking the Canadian governments balls and scaring the shit out of those stuffy bastards in congress. I don't like the way they treat the military, I don't like what they're doing with tax money and I don't like how the only provinces that seem to "matter" in Canada are Ontario and Quebec (And Quebec only because we threaten to seperate and they're forced to do what we want.) If it wasn't for the occasional referendum sometimes I think the whole country would be called "The United Confederacy of Ontario" Farmers in Alberta get screwed, Fisherman AND the movie industry in BC get screwed. Loggers get screwed on soft lumber. The oil people get screwed on exports. I could on... Funny how in Quebec and Ontario that kind of wishy-washy bull never happens. Why? Well the politicians live in Ontario and they're scared shitless of Quebec so... :D

Now if we could only get rid of those assholes in Quebec who mismanage the money, preferably by way of drive-by-shooting, we'd be all set.

JK13

[Furious D]

Maybe you can join Michael Moriarty's party. Last I heard the former LAW & ORDER star was starting up a party out west to make Canada a republic. From what I heard the party membership consists of him and a cocker spaniel named Stinky. Despite that he still has a better chance of forming a government than the NDP or the Conservatives.;)