Bad Ads

[Ellen M.]

I know there were a few stinkers during the Superbowl (farting horses, dogs biting crotches, numerous erectile dysfunction drugs, etc.), but there's one out there now, that's just annoying the hell out of me...

Has anyone seen the new Quizno's ads with these weird little mouse-like, mutant creatures floating around & singing / screeching about the subs? Now I consider myself a pretty savvy person, but I just don't get it! Maybe if I was a really stoned, 19 year old college student they'd be amusing, but I just cannot understand how the folks at Quizno's actually thought these ads would be a good thing.

Any thoughts?...
Ellen ;)

[The Baron]

No, Ellen, I was stoned when I saw the ad you mention, and it still sucked.

[El Duderino Diablo]

You mean the ad with these guys (click here, dammit)? (http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/)
We like the mooooooon!
Those creepy looking things have been around for a couple of years,IIRC.

[Ellen M.]

Well, I must be living under a rock, 'cause I've never seen these freaky little creatures before, and they certainly wouldn't inspire me to run out to Quizno's for a "sammich" (I might reach for a can of raid or a mousetrap). At least the fact that these ads suck has been validated (thanks Baron)!

Has anyone noticed that there seems to be a core group of us in this part of the forum? I thought I was geeky with 187 posts, but clearly I don't even come close to the guys with over 300 (you know who you are!)...

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

Thank god. For a while I thought I was the only person who saw that ad, and I thought it was a Nyquil related flashback freakout. :eek:

Has anyone else seen that ad for a 'Male Enhancement' pill that features a creepy looking guy grinning? There's just so much wrong with that ad I don't know where to start.

Then there are those Viagra ads where people go to a guy asking stupid questions like: "Did you get new haircut?" "Did you lose weight?" etc., etc.. Commercial should end with somebody saying: "Hey, Bob, I see you've got priapism. Are you on viagra?" or "Hey Larry, I see you've finally got some lead in your pencil, congratulations."

_________________________________________________

As for the number of posts I put up, well I can't help being prolific, and unable to keep my big yap shut.

[El Duderino Diablo]

Originally posted by Ellen M.

Has anyone noticed that there seems to be a core group of us in this part of the forum? I thought I was geeky with 187 posts, but clearly I don't even come close to the guys with over 300 (you know who you are!)...

Ellen ;)

Hey! Just because I obviously have no life is no reason to single me out! Give it time and you'll be wondering what happened to your life and how you got to 12,000 posts. It happens to everyone on a bb, eventually. :p

Anyway, since you hadn't previously seen the mutant rodent flash before then it's safe to assume you haven't seen this one (http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml) much less this one (http://www.threebrain.com/songs/hypo.html).
It's a sick bb tradition to subject other users to these particular flashes and it's my time to be sharing the love.

[Ellen M.]

Yep, those freaky, little things do look like they could be part of a bad flashback (Nyquil or otherwise)!

I think my ending to the "male enhancement" ad would be Bob replying to all of the questions with, "NO, I GOT LAID!"

And Furious D, don't worry about your massive number of posts... I wish I had the time to be so prolific (damn pesky job!)!

Ellen ;)

[BuckyMcSatan]

Man, my girlfriend has been ranting about those idiot creatures for a couple of weeks now.

http://www.quiznos.com/
(both commercials are here if you're interested in dead rats singing the praises of sandwiches.)

I'd like to respond to the ad agency who thought it was hip to emulate the internet with a little cartoon, if I could:

Clad Lunch (http://www.shemco.com/joe_blog/modules.php?name=Razor_Navi&strip_id=2&hq=)

Enjoy.

[Kuato]

dude - the second i saw those things i got into my car and ran red lights to get to a Quiznos.. and shoved one of those avacado filled babies right dowm my throat.

brilliance comes out of the television once a millenium -

[Eric Campos]

I just like that Quizno's took a chance on these warped looking creatures to sell their sammiches for them. Kudos to them for being the brave fuckers they are. And the commercials seem to have worked. Repulsed or drawn in, more people are talking and thinking about Quiznos these past few weeks than ever before.

[Rory L. Aronsky]

"Beware of paper cuts!"

On this Quizno's thing, exactly! I was in the apartment complex's gym tonight, watching TV while I was on the treadmill (amazing that there's all these gyms that have all this equipment, and yet we can still watch TV while exercising. Ah, modern conveniences!), and I saw the Quizno's commercial. The first thing that came to mind was: "Holy fuck! I think I've reviewed something like that before!" Seriously though, the commercial struck me as very independent, something that would be reviewed on Film Threat if it was stretched out to a short-film length.

[Bongwater]

Definitely some internet-savvy marketers (read: holed-up nerds).

[Ellen M.]

Well, I guess I'm in the minority on the Quizno's ads, because I think they suck. I agree that the mutant creatures are kinda out there & different, but they're just a huge disconnect for me in relation to a toasted sub. Perhaps I'm secretly paranoid that I'll find one of those fuckers in my lunch?! Oh, and thanks to everyone who posted links... I now have a permanent migraine from all that damn off-key screeching!

I do kinda like the commercial with the women's volleyball team playing on a frozen beach... I know the guys prolly dig it because those girls are mighty cold... nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

I guess you didn't see the new ad campaign that features women in bikinis playing volleyball in the snow against a team of the freakish rodent creatures from Quizno's? It's a great commercial until the rodent's nipples get hard from the cold, then it just gets disturbing. ;)

[Ellen M.]

In my version, the volleyball chicks spike the mutant, rodent creatures around for awhile, before tossing them into the frozen surf, where they drown, gurgling their obnoxious songs. Then the chicks decide they're hungry, so they cruise down to their local Quizno's, where the guys behind the counter are so mesmerized by their beauty (and hard nipples), that they end up giving the team free sammiches.

Now THAT'S a commercial!
Bring on the Clio!
Ellen ;)

Furious D, I'll need you to fine-tune the script, k?

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
Furious D, I'll need you to fine-tune the script, k?

I've been working hard with the actual Quizno mutant rodents. Their names are Stinky and Skanky. And we've come up with a new jingle for them to sing in Ellen's commercial.


THE NEW QUIZNO'S SONG by Stinky, Skanky and Furious D.
To be sung in a high pitched screech to the tune of Lady of Spain.

QUIZNO'S!
Don't call me a felon!
It's sammiches we're sellin'
And annoying Ellen
But that's just a perk

Use me like a volleyball
Smack me on the wall
For a sammich gimme a call
Don't be a tight ass jerk

It's getting warmer
My six nipples are wiltin'
Our sammiches are toasted
So is Paris Hilton!

I'm not a hamster
I'm not a mouse
I'm a screeching mutant rodent
And I live under your house!

VIVA QUIZNO'S

What do you think?;)

[Ellen M.]

ROCK ON FURIOUS D!

That's awesome & it made my day!
Ellen :)

[Jason]

I thought that commercial was awesome. the guitarist rat with the napolean hat was good enough for me. I can see how some people might not think it was that funny, but come on how many other commercials are 1000 times worse? does your car have a "Hemi"?

[El Duderino Diablo]

Originally posted by Jason
does your car have a "Hemi"?

:sniffle: No. :sniffle:

[The Baron]

I've only seen this commercial about 30 times... The problem is, it was during one 60-minute television program.

Besides the fact that I have "perfect pitch" and the singing is like someone driving needles into my ear drums, I think what is most bothersome is that these rodents are obviously DEAD. Their toes are curled, they are flattened on the surface facing us, (both are signs of rigor mortis,) and being used to advertise food.

I had a Quizno's sub once. It sucked. These commercials have certainly not made me want to go back to give them a second chance. My boa constrictor, on the other hand, would probably love a Quizno's baked hamster sandwich.

The girls playing volleyball on the snowy beach... That's art.

[Jeremy Knox]

Originally posted by Jason
I thought that commercial was awesome. the guitarist rat with the napolean hat was good enough for me. I can see how some people might not think it was that funny, but come on how many other commercials are 1000 times worse? does your car have a "Hemi"?

My neighbour once had a 1967 Plymouth GTX with a Hemi :D Goddamn could that car fly.

Oh and speaking of bad ads. We dodged a doozy. Some Hemorrhoid manufacturer wanted to use "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash in their ad. Swear to god...

God I hate the marketing people... I hate them so damn much...

Anyway, the family obviously opposed this and now the ad won't happen. Johnny must be turning in his grave.

JK13

[Ellen M.]

Originally posted by Jeremy Knox
Oh and speaking of bad ads. We dodged a doozy. Some Hemorrhoid manufacturer wanted to use "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash in their ad. Swear to god...

God I hate the marketing people... I hate them so damn much...

That's pretty damn clever, if you ask me! Can't be worse than those effing "erectile dysfunction" & "male enhancement" ads! Too bad the Cash family vetoed the use of the song!

Yes, marketing & advertising people suck!
My throbbing, Quizno's headache is a constant reminder (that effing ad was on TV again this morning as I was watching the local news - I had to plug my ears & leave the room, so I didn't have a seizure!).

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Jeremy Knox
Oh and speaking of bad ads. We dodged a doozy. Some Hemorrhoid manufacturer wanted to use "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash in their ad. Swear to god...

"The Ring of Fire" was what we used to call post-drunk diarrhea, that and the lovely term: "Giving birth to baby dragons." Maybe the Cash's are holding out for a call from the Immodium people. They could get the Quizno's hamsters to sing it.;)

As for marketing people. don't get me started on that particular shower of bastards. I was once hired to be a writer for a sketch comedy pilot. There was me and a half dozen other eager beavers and they had put together some good performers from Toronto's sketch and improv scene. I thought we actually had a chance, so I put together some of my best material, and the other writers had written some pretty good stuff too.

Then the producer hired a marketing firm. She thought that they would give a formula for a hit. The first rule of marketing a TV show is that you must already have a show in the can before going to them. Because if you don't then they'll screw it up royally. They ran everything they had through focus groups, and then rewrote all our sketches. Over the next month it morphed from a funny sketch show, to an incoherent sitcom about mischevious angels. Naturally, the money people ran away screaming and we were left with nothing.

I actually got a peek at my marketing report. It seems I scored very high among audiences from the British Isles, (The Irish went nuts over the Skinhead Sketch, & Gang Violence Barbie) Americans liked my material, Eastern and Western Canadians liked my material, and people from the Province of Ontario either didn't get it, or were offended. True story.:D

[Jason]

ha ha see i think any dead animal singing is hillarious no matter if it is a commercial or a show or a stock market update. and the state of death I am sure puts a little strain on the voice, so naturally the pitch and tone are off.
I think their angus steak sandwich is tops.

[truepictures]

for some reason, i like that ad. i think it's so pointless, it's funny.

there were tons of unfunny ads during the super bowl, but i thought the horse farting was hilarious.

my favorite ad right now is the bmw one where the screen is split up into 4 different weather conditions as this new car whips through all of them. as far as car commercials go, this one has always kept my attention and i don't change the channel when it comes on, in fact . . . I welcome it!

i really don't like the estee lauder commercials that plays when you go to the movies, you know th e one with the new madonna song and tons of fake butterflies and a strip of deserted island with a hot girl whose stomach is extremely flat.

another ad i don't like is the new mcdonald's "i'm loving it" series.
retarded monkeys could have created a better campaign.

thank you.

-
www.truepicturesinc.com/creative.html

[Furious D]

I heard that the "I'm Lovin It" campaign featuring the everpresent combo of Justin Timberlake and the Neptunes is turning into a massive boondoggle for the fast food giant. Sales are down and people are finding the commercials more irritating than a dead singing hamster. The problem is that McD's has already poured in mega millions into the campaign and don't have any decent ideas to replace it.

I have an idea on how they can improve sales. How about making a burger that doesn't taste like the heel of a sneaker smothered in cheap runny ketchup. But I was never a fan of Ronald McDonald to begin with.

As for Jason's love of dead animals singing the praises of products and services, there was an ad campaign in Canada in the early 90's. It featured an animatronic cow singing like Sinatra about how much he loves this brand of bbq sauce. Their motto: We make beef sing. I laughed my ass off when I first saw it.

I heard a rumour that PETA protested the ad, and the company pulled it. Then somebody must have figured out that PETA members don't buy bbq sauce, so it still pops up once in a rare while.:D

[Ricky Retardo]

The 40/50 something man picks up the football and tries to throw it thru the tire swing but misses. Then he takes the Levitra and he can put the ball in the hole again and again and again and again.

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ricky Retardo
The 40/50 something man picks up the football and tries to throw it thru the tire swing but misses. Then he takes the Levitra and he can put the ball in the hole again and again and again and again.

I wonder what Freud would say about a ball going into a hole over and over again?;)

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Furious D
I wonder what Freud would say about a ball going into a hole over and over again?;)

He'd probably say, "Zis frickin' commercial zucks!"

Personally, I can't throw a football through a tire to save my life. I get laid like a mo-fo, but forget the whole ball through the tire bit.

[Ellen M.]

I just think it's hilarious that we've got ads running constantly for Cialis, Levitra & Viagra (and doesn't one of them have the disclaimer about erections lasting more than 4 hours... ouch!). You KNOW it's a good product if Coach Ditka's endorsing it (and I bet he gets the ball though the tire every time, dammit!).

Clearly it's just not cool to advertise anything for female sexual dysfunction, although we do have the market cornered on clothing, cosmetics, hair products & feminie hygeine!

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

I saw this ad for a pill that appears to claim that it makes a man's manhood bigger. They feature this creepy looking guy with a big leering smile who seems so happy about having chemically enlarged genitalia. Now they don't say it out in the open. They just imply it with unsubtle symbolism, and referring to it as 'natural male enhancement.'

As for those feminine hygiene ads, I think I've learned way more than I really needed to know from those commercials.

The thing I love about pharmaceutical ads is when they list the side effects. Most of them are worse than the conditions that they're supposed treat. Who really needs a hay-fever medication that causes headaches, nosebleeds, gastric distress, and spontaneous anal leakage.

[Seedy Edgewick]

All right, enough with the cracks on Enzyte (the once-a-day pill for natural male enhancement). Bob the Enzyte Guy has inherited the throne of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs as the counter-culture guru for the new millenium. How can you NOT admire a guy who, when he dives into the pool and loses his swimming trunks, climbs out in front of everyone else without losing one IOTA of that immense grin? I mean, your dick's gotta be pretty fucking big if you're that proud to display it.

In another commercial, Bob displays his negotiating prowess with a bunch of Japanese guys. "He is like wood that will not bend." "He remains rigid." In the cable version, one Japanese guy makes a comment about the size of Bob's shoes; in a later shot, another Japanese guy is seen sneaking a peek at Bob's feet.

I LOVE these commercials.

But, the all time best is a Jack-in-the-Box ad that aired only once (that I saw). In it, Jack is shown having a confab with a bunch of teenagers. The spot starts with Jack stating how he is in touch with the younger generation, and opens the floor for questions. "Ask me anything," he says. One girl raises her hand. "Jack," she asks, "how can you tell if you're a lesbian?" Jack's mouth goes straight. "Well, you can never count on what teenagers are going to say, but you can always count on getting a hot, juicy Jumbo Jack for 99 cents at Jack-in-the-Box," he says at last.

That spot had me rolling on the floor. My wife went to a focus group where they examined several Jack-in-the-Box ads, including this one. The response of the group was universally negative (except for the aforementioned spouse). One woman complained that the commercial forced her to explain to her daughter what a lesbian is. None of them quite got the joke.

This is why I'm so happy to see those Enzyte ads. Fuck the bluenoses.

[El Duderino Diablo]

Originally posted by Seedy Edgewick
Bob the Enzyte Guy has inherited the throne of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs as the counter-culture guru for the new millenium.

Say it ain't so!

[Furious D]

I just had a psychic flash about the Enzyte guy. It's at my Psychic Fiends thread.

[Ricky Retardo]

Ellen, I think that's the newest pill they have out called Priapria.


and by the way, how the fuck do they name all these medicines? Does anybody know of a site where they break down how they name these pills? (ie: PREgnant MARe urINe)

[Ricky Retardo]

...what happens if you take this enzyte, it works, but the FDA bans it because it causes liver damage or something. What happens to your dick? Will it slowly shrivel down to HALF the size it originally was?

[Kuato]

i think your weiner would turn into a little twig

on the news ( the tv news) they had a story about pills that have adds that completly lie about what they do.. diet pills in particullar...
i thought it was interesting that they told people that they shouldnt listen to what the adds say and find a new way to get thin quick- but never even touched on the reasons why america is so fat... mcydees must own the network

[GiGi]

Do the dick pills work? I'm sure they don't but had to ask.

I am certainly sick of the fake talk show sex infommercial hawking these things. The one with the chick with that huge HAT; and the one with the chick in the red satin outfit who looks like she didnt comb her hair after her boob job. Blah.

[The Baron]

I actually saw one of these infomercials last Saturday night, at the local watering hole. The sound was turned down, but I knew that any TV spot featuring Ron Jeremy, six models, and a little bottle had to have something to do with penis enlargement.

Every day, there are two or three spams in my spam filter, offering products to make my penis grow by up to three inches. The temptation is to write back to these companies and ask them, "what the hell am I going to do with a fifteen-inch penis?" just to see their reaction. :eek:

[GiGi]

Yeah no shit. I don't care how big of a whore a woman is, no one wants a 15 inch penis ANYWHERE near them. hehe

I saw that Ron Jeremy thing as well. Good Lodeeeeeeeee

[Ellen M.]

Originally posted by GiGi
Yeah no shit. I don't care how big of a whore a woman is, no one wants a 15 inch penis ANYWHERE near them. hehe

Except maybe an elephant or a whale!
I just think its so funny that men are so obsessed with the size of their dicks (and our breasts)! Lemme tell ya fellas, there's NOTHING wrong with being average (5-7 inches)!

Just a reminder... lay off the male enhancement dugs & the Quizno's subs!

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
I just think its so funny that men are so obsessed with the size of their dicks (and our breasts)! ;)

It's all part of the inherent male need to compete with each other over everything. It's part of the evolutionary process, and the same motive that makes men build things like skyscrapers, rockets, and anything else they can make bigger, better, and louder than the last guy.

Besides, it's not like we can brag about how good they look. An old Seinfeld episode said it best. They're like an old army jeep. Utilitarian, and can get you where you need to go, but not much to look at. ;)

As for breasts, well what can I say. Men like the boobies. :rolleyes:

[Seedy Edgewick]

A renowned repository for pop culture wisdom, Hardbodies, stated it best.

CHICK #1: Why do guys like boobs?

CHICK #2: 'Cause they ain't got 'em.

[Ellen M.]

And wasn't it Robin Williams who said, "If I was a woman, I'd stay home all day & play with my breasts."? My other favorite gender quote of his is, "Yep, we guys spend 9 months trying to get out & the rest of our lives trying to get back in."... Clearly the reason why some guys need a little extra "help".

[Kuato]

interesting - the beginings of a baby looks to be BOTH male and female - either your cunt grows longer or your little nipples get implanted with the boob seeds.

and on that note - i asked a biology teacher about those pills - and she looked at me like i was retarded - i guess we can all assume that there will never be an easy way to make your weiner bigger - other than cutting it off and skrewing in a huge rubber dildo...

guys should be taking lessons on how to clean a girls fish tank - rather than trying to swollow pills to make the booga bigga - why hasnt gary coleman been mentioned on this thread yet?

[Ellen M.]

Awww Kuato... didja have to use the word "fish" in relation to a woman's anatomy?! That's so "Queer Eye"!

Ellen :(

[Kuato]

hahaha is it? i didnt know those guys knew there were goldfishys down there :)
i had an illustration class last semester and i was told to draw a box.
i drew a little hairy box with goldfish coming out.
the teacher - surprisingly- was pleased...

[GiGi]

Originally posted by Seedy Edgewick
A renowned repository for pop culture wisdom, Hardbodies, stated it best.

CHICK #1: Why do guys like boobs?

CHICK #2: 'Cause they ain't got 'em.


Haha, HAHAHA! Maybe that's why we women like wee wee's. Oops, let's say penises in a threat that is sensitive to size.

Women are just as worried about breast size. Have you heard about the machine that suctions the boobs, making them bigger? I believe it's called Brava. We have pills too and while it's not as laden on late night TV as dick pills and herbal viagra, it's out there.

[Kuato]

sasqutch has no genitalia to be worried about - because sasquatch is the super sex

[Furious D]

Originally posted by GiGi
Women are just as worried about breast size. Have you heard about the machine that suctions the boobs, making them bigger? I believe it's called Brava. We have pills too and while it's not as laden on late night TV as dick pills and herbal viagra, it's out there.

Let me tell a couple of things about Real Men.

Let me state it for the record that big breasts aren't necessary to win over a Real Man. Why? Because a Real Man's basically a beggar who can't be a chooser, and he knows it.;)

I once shared an apartment in university with a fellow student who was, for lack of a better word: flat-chested. She asked me if a man would be upset if he found out the girl he was with padded her bra. I told her that a Real Man wouldn't be upset, because he'd be too happy over being in a position to find out, to even care.:D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
On another note:

I heard that actor Tom Skerrit recently sued a herbal viagra company and won. Apparently they took his face without his knowledge or permission and used Photoshop to paste it into a picture of a man with apparently an alien woman. A caption next to the photo had the actor declaring that the pills had cured his impotence. When he found out he was naturally pissed.

[Ellen M.]

Just for the record (because we've already discussed religion & politics today), I am smaller chested & proud of it. In fact, I have NEVER had any complaints from any of the guys I've been involved with. One even told me I was "perktacular" (and no, it wasn't that mutant, rat bastard Stinky)!

I think people need to be happy with what god gave them, be it penis or breast size! I'm all about keeping it REAL!

As for Tom Skerrit & the herbal supplement mishap, that's prolly the most interest anyone has shown him in awhile...ha, ha!

You people all know too much now!
Ellen

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
One even told me I was "perktacular" (and no, it wasn't that mutant, rat bastard Stinky)!
Ellen

I've got to remember that one. Could come in handy.;)

That's exactly what I said. You know I think I'm going to start my own men's movements. No, it's not going to be like those whiny Promise Keepers, or god forbid The Shriners. My movement's going to be REAL MEN. And based on these basic tenets:

REAL MEN: Don't go for silicone.

REAL MEN: Ain't to proud to beg.

REAL MEN: Don't need or want any 'Penis Pills, Pumps or Potions.'

REAL MEN: Are happy with what God gave them, because they know it's all they're gonna get.

REAL MEN: Like REAL WOMEN, as nature intended.

Our first meeting will be at 9:00PM Sunday, at the Central Lodge of the Fraternal & Beneficial Order of the Pole Weasel, which is the treehouse out by the powerlines. Women are welcome to attend and even participate, because you know what it's like getting a bunch of men to get off their asses to do anything.

PS To Ellen: Stinky says hi. Or at least I think he did. His speech is pretty badly slurred from mixing Enzyte & tequila shooters. Oh wait, he's says he thinks you're 'perktacular' too.

[GiGi]

I must say Im fascinated with plastic surgery. I can't wait to see "Extreme Makeovers". Now, people doing this to the point they look totally unreal (Pamela Anderson....who's boney ass walks around setting a standard that's what all women should look like; we all could if we had hair weaves, makeup artist, perfect lighting, trick mirrors, etc). But tweaking, Im all for.

You know, Size C was once the perfect size boobies or bigguns; now I hear of women getting DD or EEE sized implants. You know, you guys, it IS really hard to be a woman because the standard keeps changing. Thanks to porn, centerfolds and all that. That type of woman is shoved down throats and revered as the standard for beauty, besides the few classy men like Furious left who appreciate real and classic beauties. Not pointing the finder at anyone here, but out in the real world it's a helluva lot more rampant than ya might think. I can't wait to get old so I can be eccentric and not give a shit :)

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Furious D
REAL MEN: Ain't to proud to beg.

Sorry, D., but that's a point I'll have to argue. I will say that real men have no problem apologizing when they're incorrect, but I don't beg anyone for anything.

One thing I look for in a woman (with whom I want something more than a bit of mutally consentual recreational time,) is a big BRAIN.

Aside from that, the more petite, the better. In the years to come, there won't be as many issues with gravity. What that means to me is there's one less thing to listen to her bitch about. Yep, I prefer "size 1 girls"... Especially "size 1 Goth/Punk girls" with tattoos and piercings.

[Ellen M.]

Baron,
I hear Christina Ricci's available!

Ellen ;)
P.S. - I'm not a size 1, but I am perktacular & I have a big brain (and I don't make men beg, unless I've got the dominatrix outfit on)!

[Ellen M.]

Furious,
I like your REAL MEN concept. I might just show up as a guest speaker at the first meeting.

As for Stinky, I'm so over it! he screwed up, and I'm not the forgiving type. In fact, I might just get a shitload of tattoos & piecings & head out to La La Land to shack up with the Baron, just to piss him off!

Ellen ;)

[The Baron]

Well, Ellen, I suppose it would be okay, as long as it isn't just some kind of stunt to make the rodent jealous. Just remember, I sleep on the outside of the bed.

You know, between talking about shacking up with me in this thread, and asking me to take you to Europe in another thread, people are going to start talking.

Goodie! I love being at the center of controversy and gossip!

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
As for Stinky, I'm so over it! he screwed up, and I'm not the forgiving type. In fact, I might just get a shitload of tattoos & piecings & head out to La La Land to shack up with the Baron, just to piss him off!

Ellen ;)

I'm affraid Stinky, despondent over the end of his marriage, has thrown himself on the mercy of his stalker Rory, who promptly grilled both him and Skanky on the BBQ.

there was so much alcohol and flammable Enzyte in his system he went up like a firecracker. Rory reported the taste as 'Zesty.'

On the plus side he was roasted before he had a chance to change his will. So the Widow Ellen gets everything and custody of Stinky jr.

Of course those Zombie Mutant Hamsters have a nasty habit of coming back...:eek:

[Ellen M.]

YES! Free at last, free at last... thank Buddah almighty, I'm free at last! Thanks to you & Rory for securing my freedom & a nice chunk of change! Now I can quit my crap job & tour Europe for the next year (no France & Germany though)!

Do ya think he'll come back in a new Quizno's
BBQ sammich?

Ellen ;)

[Ellen M.]

Okay, this is really supposed to be a thread about bad ads, but has anyone seen the new Tiger Woods commercial, where he's the groundskeeper from "Caddyshack" trying to get rid of the groundhog? It's effing hilarious!

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
Okay, this is really supposed to be a thread about bad ads, but has anyone seen the new Tiger Woods commercial, where he's the groundskeeper from "Caddyshack" trying to get rid of the groundhog? It's effing hilarious!

Ellen ;)

Watch, if the ad's a hit they'll be remaking Caddyshack with Tiger as the Groundskeeper & Ashton Kutcher as a well meaning caddy in love with a girl from the other side of the tracks.

The Tagline: Finally, Ashton Kutcher's got balls!

The Groundhog in that commercial's played by Stinky's cousin Spanky, & he wants to offer his condolences to the widow.;)

[Ellen M.]

Originally posted by Furious D
The Tagline: Finally, Ashton Kutcher's got balls!

The Groundhog in that commercial's played by Stinky's cousin Spanky, & he wants to offer his condolences to the widow. [/B]

A - Funny!

B - Tell him to make a donation to the Ellen & Stinky Jr. Zen Kabbalah Center, or he can just give me cash!

Ellen ;)

[Ricky Retardo]

BTW, Screw you guys. I LIKE Quiznos. Whenever I got $15 to spend on a sammich, that's the first place I go.

[GiGi]

I like their Chicken Carbonara thingie. You can just feel your arteries hardening when you eat it. I saw the rat commercial tongiht for the first time! FREAKY...

[Ricky Retardo]

I can't stand that Nike commercial where they insert Lance Armstrong into a boxing match, Serena Williams into beach volleyball and Vick and Urlacher into a hockey game. The tag line being "they can do anything". Yeah "anything" with the help of computer graphics.

[Ellen M.]

I agree, but I DO like the one with Leila Ali sparring with her dad.

Ellen

[Ricky Retardo]

...but I just saw a commercial where a man and a woman are in a row boat. The boat springs a leak. The guy panics. The girl calmly reaches into her bag, pulls out a tampon and plugs the hole.

Femine hygiene commercials are really just too much sometimes. There was one awhile back that, as a means of demonstrating pad absorbancy, showed all these ladies (presumably on thier periods) doing splits and stretches. I don't mean to come off as a man-pig and insensitive, but that's imagery I don't really need to imagine.

I now leave you with those immortal words of wisdom endowed upon Carrie by the locker room girls...

"PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!"

[Foddre]

i just saw an Altoids billboard that said something about Gangrene on it

looked like something out of a high school advertising class

"Well, that's very clever" (boooo)

[Ellen M.]

All I can say is that I am SO glad that the folks at Quizno's seem to have come to their senses & abandoned the commercials with those nasty, little singing creatures! God, I hated those freakin' ads!

Ellen ;)

[Foddre]

Mmm ab Quizno's.

I remember the Altoid's ad. It said, "GANG GREEN." And then showed a pic of 3 Altoids. Absolutely horrible. Just bad.