Academy premonitions

[Kuato]

predictions for tmrw?

i predict Peter Jackson will win the award for best director and take that award and shove it up the acadamy's ass
meanwhile Blly Crystal sits in the back room surrounded by police for pulling out his shwang during the opening song and dance bullshit.

[Furious D]

I predict that somebody somewhere will say: "X didn't deserve to win that award! Y deserved that award! the Oscar's suck!"

The Academy will choke on actually awarding a fantasy film that people have already seen and give the Best Picture award to COLD MOUNTAIN. Mainly because Academy voters didn't want to be seen as a bunch of geeks. The next morning Academy HQ is burned down by a horde of rabid geeks and Jack Valenti's head is mounted on a pike by the Hollywood sign.

If Keisha Castle Hughes wins Best Actress, she will do one more movie, playing someone dying of a terminal disease and never be seen on screen again. She'll end up working as a cashier at a Starbucks in Wellington, New Zealand, and gathering a sizable gun collection.

Presenter Adrien Brody will passionately French kiss the winner of the prize he's giving out. Too bad it's Best Original Score and Howard Shore is not impressed.

Ben Kingsley will rush the stage and bitchslap Sean Penn, screaming "That Oscar's mine!" Penn will flee from the stage crying like a little girl clutching his long coveted Oscar to his bosom. Meanwhile Bill Murray's on his cell phone arranging for 500 pizza's, a brand new Humvee, and a transvestite hooker named KiKi to be delivered to Sean Penn's home.

[truepictures]

I predict that Furious D. will go insane by the time he watches the Oscars and never remember what his premonitions were, so disappointment will be swiftly avoided.