Degenerates Unite!

[Seedy Edgewick]

What is the definition of the following terms? No fair looking them up on the 'Net -- I'm testing your knowledge of degenerate behavior.

Cleveland Steamer

Hot Carl

Chili Dog

Filthy Sanchez (a.k.a. Dirty Sanchez)

Hot Lunch

Blumpkin

Donkey Punch

Purple Mushroom

Shocker

Fishhook

Dog in a Bathtub

Felch(ing)

Toss(ing) Salad

Fish Eye

Halmstad Hook

You will be graded on accuracy and creativity.

[GiGi]

Are these all sex related? LOL I dont want to say NIPPLE when it has nothing to do with anything like that. lol

[The Baron]

Okay... These are the ones that I know. (I somehow have the feeling I'm gonna regret responding to this...)

Cleveland Steamer - Defecating on your partner's chest

Hot Carl - Defecating during ejaculation

Filthy Sanchez (a.k.a. Dirty Sanchez) - While engaged in "doggy style" intercourse, digitally probing the rectum of your partner, extracting said finger, and drawing a thin mustache under her nose.

Hot Lunch - See "Cleveland Steamer;" replace chest with mouth.

Donkey Punch - When doing it "doggy style," (again,) punching your partner in the back of the head as you orgasm.

Felch(ing) - After engaging in anal sex, a straw is placed in the anus of the receiving partner, and sucked out.

Toss(ing) Salad - Rim job, (i.e., licking the anus.)

You forgot one, Seedy...

Snowball(ing)

[Seedy Edgewick]

BZZT! The Baron's definition of Hot Carl is wrong. His Cleveland Steamer definition lacks an essential element. Hot Lunch is 1/3 right. That's a C-minus.

I purposely left out the Snowball due to its inclusion in Clerks.

No guesses on "Blumpkin"?

[The Baron]

How is it that I don't feel bad about getting those wrong?

[GiGi]

Originally posted by The Baron
Okay... These are the ones that I know. (I somehow have the feeling I'm gonna regret responding to this...)

Cleveland Steamer - Defecating on your partner's chest

Hot Carl - Defecating during ejaculation

Filthy Sanchez (a.k.a. Dirty Sanchez) - While engaged in "doggy style" intercourse, digitally probing the rectum of your partner, extracting said finger, and drawing a thin mustache under her nose.

Hot Lunch - See "Cleveland Steamer;" replace chest with mouth.

Donkey Punch - When doing it "doggy style," (again,) punching your partner in the back of the head as you orgasm.

Felch(ing) - After engaging in anal sex, a straw is placed in the anus of the receiving partner, and sucked out.

Toss(ing) Salad - Rim job, (i.e., licking the anus.)

You forgot one, Seedy...

Snowball(ing) LMFAO! What in the.....

[Furious D]

This is the first time I've ever felt proud to be ignorant.;)

Seedy, go to your therapist and get your money
back. :rolleyes:

Baron, I'm starting to worry about you.;)

Now I'm off to clean my eye sockets with bleach.

[The Baron]

Aw, come on, D. I learned this stuff watching South Park. My personal fetishes lean more towards- :x Shuttin' up now.

[Furious D]

Maybe those terms are the creation SOUTH PARK writers?

I'll admit it, I have heard of a different kind of Felching, but that's because of the 'Armageddon' WAV file telling the story of a man who shoved a gerbil in a cardboard tube up his ass, and then yelled 'Armageddon' as the safety word. His partner couldn't find the gerbil, so he lit a match. Hence igniting some methane gas and...

...well, you can figure out the rest.

And I heard of the 'Donkey Punch,' but the person who said it called it 'Donkey Konging.'

Other than that my eyes and ears are as pure as the driven snow...:rolleyes:

[GiGi]

Cleveland Steamer: Farting or something like that in bed? Maybe the female...um, Im not even saying that word.

Hot Carl: Sweaty bag?

Chili Dog: Earning redwings maybe....

Filthy Sanchez (a.k.a. Dirty Sanchez): Anal sex

Hot Lunch: Sweaty vagina

Blumpkin: anal wart

Donkey Punch: Hate pumpin

Purple Mushroom: That would be the head, Ted.

Shocker: Electic anal prob

Fishhook: a curved winkie

Dog in a Bathtub: Big Hairy Pussycat

Felch(ing): Burping and farting at the same time during oral sex?

Toss(ing) Salad: Tossinig Off

Fish Eye: Nipple!

Halmstad Hook[/b]: No idea.

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Furious D
I'll admit it, I have heard of a different kind of Felching, but that's because of the 'Armageddon' WAV file telling the story of a man who shoved a gerbil in a cardboard tube up his ass, and then yelled 'Armageddon' as the safety word. His partner couldn't find the gerbil, so he lit a match. Hence igniting some methane gas and...

Yeah, I remember when that urban myth started. I heard about it in an e-mail, which reputed to contain an L.A. Times article about the event. I believe the gerbil's name was "Ragout."

Cleveland Steamer: Farting or something like that in bed? Maybe the female...um, Im not even saying that word.

No, GiGi... You're thinking of a "Dutch Oven."

[Ellen M.]

Are you sure these aren't all uban myths, kids?

And you forgot bukaki, but anyone who listens to Howard Sten could prolly figure that one out...

Ellen

[The Baron]

Bukkake was originally a public form of punishment for adultresses in feudal Japan.

It's like I said after watching Ichi, the Killer for the first time, "What the fuck is wrong with the Japanese?"

[Seedy Edgewick]

Get the bleach ready, D.

A Hot Carl is when you take your dick out of the girl's ass and stick it directly into her mouth. Do no pass Go, do not collect $200.

A Blumpkin is a blow job given while the man is taking a shit on the toilet.

Shall I continue?

[The Baron]

Hey, I'm not going to be the one to say, "Go ahead, Seedy."

[Ellen M.]

I'm just sitting here, waiting for my pearl necklace to arrive... boys?... Judex was supposed to bring it with those peeled grapes...

Ellen

[Furious D]

Originally posted by The Baron
Yeah, I remember when that urban myth started. I heard about it in an e-mail, which reputed to contain an L.A. Times article about the event. I believe the gerbil's name was "Ragout."


The WAV file I heard was of a radio newscaster trying to read the story, but he can't stop laughing, and his co-host's constant yelping of 'Armageddon' wasn't helping. He credited the story to a newspaper in Salt Lake City. It's definitely one of the more colourful urban myths.

Salt Lake City....hmmmm....

Who do we know in Utah?;)

ARMAGEDDON!

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
I'm just sitting here, waiting for my pearl necklace to arrive... boys?

Gentlemen, roll call, please!

How many of you would be willing to oblige Ellen, and give her a pearl necklace?

[Furious D]

Dem lady folk sure do like dere purty jewellry like pearl necklaces. ;)

ARMAGEDDON!> :eek:

Baron- I've been doing some digging, and I've discovered that your real name is Phil T. Sanchez!;)

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Furious D
Baron- I've been doing some digging, and I've discovered that your real name is Phil T. Sanchez!;)

DAMN YOU, AGAIN, FURIOUS D!!!

Yes, you've discovered my secret identity: Phillipe Tomas Sanchez, better known in the porn underground as Phil T. Sanchez, or more commonly, "Dirty" Sanchez. I, yes, I created the legendary sexual practice, first seen in the classic movie, When a Man Loves a Woman, and She Loves an Ourangutan. (But little did you know, I am also my fellow Spaniard Antonio Bandaras' body-double!)

Say, Furious, didn't I see you on the set once? You were in the motel room next door working on Felch, a porn spoof of the Chevy Chase movie. I asked the director who the guy with the straw in his mouth was, and he said you went by the stage name of "Hot Carl Blumpkin." I KNEW I recognized your picture! ;) :p

[Furious D]

Actually, you're mistaken. All my work as a pornstar was done under the name Lance Goodthrust.

I starred in such films as:
[list=1]
When Harry Boned Sally
The Sperminator
Sperminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Star Whores Episode 1: The Pantin Menace
Night of the Giving Head
Dawn of the Head
Day of the Head
Arma-Get-It-On
Pearl Necklace Harbour
The Well Hung Jury (written by John Grisham)
Sex Trek: Deep Throat Nine
Sex Trek: Voyeur
Sex Trek: The Next Penetration
Apollo 13 Inches
Pump Fiction
Lord of the Nipple Ring
[/list=1];)

[Ellen M.]

Didja guys know that I beat out Scarlett Johansson for the part of Griet in "Girl With a Pearl Necklace", but then those bastards decided to change the whole story & re-cast it!

Free spanking to anyone who can guess what these 2 are:
Brumski
Agnes Gootch

Ellen :)

[Furious D]

I'm starting to wonder just what kind of misfit toys you're on that island with.;)

[The Baron]

I'll bet they hum.

[Furious D]

If I had the battery concession on that island it would be 'goodbye student loans.':rolleyes:

As for Ellen's question:

Brumski involves a willing participant with a tast for pain in uncomfortable areas, a stiff wire brush, and a hell of a lot of lube. It was made famous in the early 80's by the band Brumski Beat with their hit song 'Grease That Brush Ya Bastard.'

Agnes Gootch was in my eighth grade math class.

:rolleyes: ;) :D :p

[GiGi]

Originally posted by Seedy Edgewick
Get the bleach ready, D.

A Hot Carl is when you take your dick out of the girl's ass and stick it directly into her mouth. Do no pass Go, do not collect $200.

A Blumpkin is a blow job given while the man is taking a shit on the toilet.

Shall I continue?

If some guy did that to me, they'd find him decades from now dismembered and buried under my house. EW

[Ellen M.]

Originally posted by Furious D
If I had the battery concession on that island it would be 'goodbye student loans.':rolleyes:

As for Ellen's question:

Brumski involves a willing participant with a tast for pain in uncomfortable areas, a stiff wire brush, and a hell of a lot of lube. It was made famous in the early 80's by the band Brumski Beat with their hit song 'Grease That Brush Ya Bastard.'

Agnes Gootch was in my eighth grade math class.

:rolleyes: ;) :D :p

Who said anything about batteries?
Chucky lives on the island with me now...heh!

As for the asnwers...bbbbbzzzzttt!...WRONG!

A pearl necklace is the RESULT of a brumski... a.k.a. between the boobies or as they call it on the west coast "Hawaiian style".

An Agnes Gootch is a guy with a jones for screwing pregnant women (dontcha remember Agness Gootch from "Auntie Mame"?). She was also my 5th grade teacher, and man was she wicked with a ruler!

GOTCHA!
Ellen

[Furious D]

Originally posted by GiGi
If some guy did that to me, they'd find him decades from now dismembered and buried under my house. EW

So, I guess we better make new plans for next Saturday night.;)

[The Baron]

ROMAN SHOWER :eek:

[GiGi]

LOL, um...double EW!

I hope you guys give your GF's candy and flowers before you give her a hot carl!

Man, dating in the 21st century...phew!

[Ellen M.]

Sound like something the Emperor Caligula must've invented...beyuck!

GiGi, let's go read some Sappho...

Ellen ;)

[Furious D]

Originally posted by GiGi
I hope you guys give your GF's candy and flowers before you give her a hot carl!

That could be a book and a movie, maybe even a tv series:

;)DATING FOR THE 21st CENTURY PERVERT;)
It could be a set of ettiquette guidelines that will bring good manners into the world of sexual perversion. Because there's nothing worse than somebody being rude during a blumpkin.

Ladies, how far will candy & flowers go for you?

And guys, what kind of perversions are you looking for in a woman, and how far will you go pleasing them in order to get it?

We could create an 'Are You a Degenerate Pervert Test' and a scale from one to ten telling you how much of a pervert you are.

1 would be a score for a very, very ordinary person, and 10, or The Seedy Edgewick Score would be for the super pervs.

I think we've got a bestseller here. Sold in all the finest bookstores where the customers wear raincoats all year round.:rolleyes: ;) :p :D

[GiGi]

O'contrare, D :) Im not that cheap (hehe) I better get poetry, ego stuffin, and all kinds of crap!

Women know what guys want, they want to feel comfy with their gal and be able to come into her back door without notice as well as her front door.

Im talking about her house. See? PERVERT! ;)

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Furious D
That could be a book and a movie, maybe even a tv series:

;)DATING FOR THE 21st CENTURY PERVERT;)

Start the thread, D. But be warned... You know where this will go!

Originally posted by GiGi
O'contrare, D Im not that cheap (hehe) I better get poetry, ego stuffin, and all kinds of crap!

We (men) refer to that as "making a deposit in the 'booty bank'." Cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc., are all "investments" or "deposits" in said "booty bank". After sufficent deposits have been made, and interest accumulated, we begin making withdrawals. (Some men don't understand the concept of "penalty for early withdrawal.")

No one going to take a guess on Roman Shower? Okay. I'll give you all until tonight before I post the answer. (Caution: Do Not Read Answer While Eating.!) :eek:

[Furious D]

Originally posted by GiGi
O'contrare, D :) Im not that cheap (hehe) I better get poetry, ego stuffin, and all kinds of crap!

Thanks for the input GiGi, you Saucy Semi-Sapphic Cyberspace Siren. I'm writing it all down for the book.;) So what you're saying is that poetry, ego stuffing and presents will pretty much get your man anything he wants? ;)

Veeeerrrry interesting...nudge, nudge, wink, wink...;)

originally posted by The Baron
We (men) refer to that as "making a deposit in the 'booty bank'." Cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc., are all "investments" or "deposits" in said "booty bank". After sufficent deposits have been made, and interest accumulated, we begin making withdrawals. (Some men don't understand the concept of "penalty for early withdrawal.")

That gives me an idea for a title:

WHAT'S IN YOUR BOOTY BANK?
An Ettiquette Guide for the Modern Degenerate

Right now I'm developing my Are You a Pervert? test. I'll post it as soon as I'm done.;)

[The Baron]

... is a most unpleasant fetish, in my opinion.

It's when a man is being "orally pleasured" and causes the party administering the bj to gag and vomit on him. Ew.

Wafer-thin mint, anyone? :D

[GiGi]

I was imagining beautiful marble bath houses with toga'd attendants. LOL Note to self: after the buffet, pass on the BJ.

Oh Furious! That makes women sound so materialistic. My bad! Personally, an emotional bonding is the strongest thing. Anywhere from "Oh my GOD! I totally love Taco Bell TOO!" to, "Yes, I also feel I was a tortured poet in a former life."

It's the things that thought was put into you can do for a woman that will make her do for you. wink wink. Poetry is free and makes a woman feel she is in an ivory tower. Material things, arent that cool after the new wears off!

[The Baron]

... Who would like to share their favorite pick-up lines?

Mind you, these don't have to be lines that necessarily work. They can be working pick-up lines, or really lousy ones that wouldn't get you laid if you were dressed in $100 bills. Lines you've used, lines you've had used on you, or lines you've overheard. Come on, let's hear those insincere, smarmy phrases, be they trite or original!

I'll start off:

"Wanna go get a pizza and fuck?"
And when she says "No," the follow-up is:
"What's the matter? Don't you like pizza?"

These two were used on me by two different young women, and worked:

"Oh my God! You look just like 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin!"

"Do you fuck as good as you look?"

Okay, kids... Your turn.

[GiGi]

When finding out a woman you are hitting on has kids, say...
"Cool! Fuck trophies!"

I remember this one from Jr HIgh...

Man: You know what it feels like when you gotta pee?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: (grabbing woman's hand and shoving it on his crotch) well, feel me and see if i gotta pee!

ba da dum dum!

[Furious D]

Man says to a Woman: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Gus?

Joke Told by Isaac Asimov in the 60's:

Writer Harlan Ellison approaches a rather statuesque movie starlet and says: "What do you say to a little fuck?"

Her Answer: "Hello, you little fuck."

[Ellen M.]

Oh, you degenerates are just crackin' me up (no coffee out the nose this morning, though)!

One of the best lines I ever used, was on a mechanic friend of mine... I waltzed into his shop & said in a very loud voice, "Who do I have to fuck to get some service around here?!"... Needless to say, 3 guys all suddenly appeared... it was funny! And NO, none of them got lucky... that day, anyway...heh!

Roman Shower... gag, spit, gag!
Anyone know what a Naughty Marietta is?...
And Seedy, where the hell are you? You started this disturbing thread & then you disappear! What gives?

Ellen

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
And Seedy, where the hell are you? You started this disturbing thread & then you disappear! What gives?
Ellen

He's probably hiding in a dark corner with King Kong comiserating over the awful wave of perversion they inadvertantly unleashed.:eek:

[GiGi]

Maybe Seedy IS in therapy now...furious D's suggestion ate away at him and drove him mad. :)

[Ellen M.]

I blame it all on Baron von President!

Ellen

[The Baron]

Oh! The "Energizer Bunny" blames it all on me!

Hey, Ellen... Does this sound familiar?

BzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOH! BzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOH!

:p ;) :D

(It's all love, Baby!)

[Ellen M.]

You're confusing me with GiGi, pal!
My background noise is the cracking of a whip!

And Now Furious D will begin typing with a one-handed response...hee, hee!

Ellen ;)

[The Baron]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
My background noise is the cracking of a whip!

Across what well-rounded portion of your "background"? :eek:

[GiGi]

Ellen, Puleezeeeeeeee my cat children sleep in my bed with me! LOL

Bathrooms were made with locks ;)

[Furious D]

Originally posted by Ellen M.
And Now Furious D will begin typing with a one-handed response...hee, hee!
Ellen ;)

gfdn nfdbvxf jyjdgn asdgasdhtujrw bfcmnbv cvbmgfhjdgtrywt4 yh4wshz

Dammit!

I really can't type with one hand.:rolleyes: