GORE’S “GROWTH” SIZED UP

We dish out a wealth of brutally honest opinions on this site; actually it’s a great deal of what we do. So the Facer has seen to it that we finally receive our share of scrutiny…with an interesting twist. This isn’t a simple review of our website, nor is it an evaluation of our team of writers, it’s…well, check it out.
Prefacing his review of Chris Gore’s ever changing facial hair, the Facer says, “I gotta tell you, Chris Gore scares the shit out of me. Ahh, but screw it. One thing about Gore is that he can take a joke. And, if he can’t, well this may be my last blog entry…”
Well, after Gore read the article, he ran about the office, emptying his shotgun into the ceiling, mumbling, “Gonna have me some fun…gonna have me some fun…” He then settled down at his desk and typed up the following response:
Hilarious! Man, that is just fucking hilarious. I spit my coffee through my nose. Damn, that is funny! Wow! I owe you big time. It’s refreshing to read someone on the net who “gets” my sense of humor. I actually like being the object of a joke as long as it’s funny and this is damn funny! The homosexual stuff is hilarious too. If I ever consider having a meaning homosexual experience, I hope I can have it with you.
Wow, who would’ve thought. Let me just say that from now on, I will be wearing a suit of armor for my future meetings with Gore.
Gore continues: And you nailed my MO with the spammers. Over the years I have developed a sense of “playground justice” when it comes to anyone who has wronged me. If I am wronged, I confront the person directly and give them an opportunity to make amends. If I don’t feel satisfied by the outcome, well, just see what happened to Moe Greene and his cohorts at the end of the first Godfather. Okay, without the killing, but I tend to take matters in my own hands in a creative way whenever anything goes awry and I even the score. But ask any of my friends, and they’ll probably lie and tell you I’m a nice guy. But I really am a nice guy! I just prefer a brutal sense of honesty, just listen to my outgoing message on my answering machine at Film Threat and you’ll understand. (818-248-4549.)
Seriously, I have tried and tried to get my damn facial hair to be consistent, but it’s just impossible. Getting that thing symmetrical is too difficult for someone who cares as little about his looks as I do. And I think most men feel the same way taking a “that’s good enough” attitude about the ol’ goatee. (I actually think my own difficulties actually explain the popularity of the “landing strip” on women, but that’s an entirely separate topic.)
Anyway, I owe you a beer or two or five for that amazing piece. Thanks! It’s the best Xmas card I’ve gotten this year. You rock!
Your pal, ^ Chris Gore

Welly – welly – well. Looks like the Facer is safe…for now.




Posted on December 27, 2002 in News by
Buffer


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