BLESS THE CHILD

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2000
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 110 minutes
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OH, THE HORROR! THE HORROR! This Christian mythology/millennium thriller is so silly, cynical, and half-assed, I kept thinking Jay and Silent Bob would pop out and make a Star Wars joke. Aren’t films like this supposed to come out in January?
In this nutty “Omen” rip-off, poor Kim Basinger is single, childless, lapsed Catholic nurse Maggie O’Connor. About a week after the “Christmas star” appears on December 16, 1993, Maggie’s missing heroin addict sister Jenna (Angela Bettis) shows up on her doorstep with a baby born, oh, about a week ago. Jenna leaves the “special” baby, Cody, for Maggie to raise and then disappears.
Six years later, somebody’s killing six-year-old children. FBI Agent John Travis (Jimmy Smits), a failed priest, finds out all the children were born on the same day (guess which one) and that each has some specific occult symbols carved into their bodies. Suddenly Jenna turns up at Maggie’s house, supposedly clean and married to former child actor Eric Stark (Rufus Sewell). Eric is now the leader of a very Scientology-like organization/cult called the New Dawn Society. He really wants to get his hands on Cody (Holliston Coleman). Maggie won’t give up the child so easily, though, as she’s a “special” child. Cody exhibits some weird form of autism and seems to have some magical powers, including the ability to heal animals and people. Perhaps GOD put little Cody on this Earth for a purpose, but Eric, WHO SERVES SOMEBODY ELSE, may have other ideas. Ridiculous horse-shit ensues.
Did Chuck Russell really direct this mess? He’s the same guy who directed “The Mask”, the remake of “The Blob”, and “Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors”. He also directed the Schwarzenegger flick, “Eraser”. “Bless the Child”, however, is far below anything he’s done. Every cliche seems to be present. All of Eric’s minions are dressed for Goth night at their local club. Everyone seems to act like idiots when they aren’t praying. There are plot holes that Moses could have marched the Isrælites through. The Devil, in all of his Sunday school glory, makes a cameo appearance. Even the young girl portraying Cody seems to realize what a bad movie she’s in.
Anyone who actually believes in God or Satan or anything else should be appalled. Shouldn’t faith be more than a cheap plot device?



Posted on August 11, 2000 in Reviews by
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