Year Released: 2008
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 86 minutes
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I adore DIY filmmaking, mostly because I do it myself. There are few things quite as satisfying as watching a quality movie made with pure talent as opposed to big budgets and A-list stars. So it hurts that much more when viewing a film made on a zero budget that lacks any redeeming qualities that normally set these films apart from the big enchiladas of Hollywood.
The plot, as far as I could tell, revolves around several Egyptian warriors reincarnated in the bodies of hapless idiots who must stop the evil schemes of Nefratis. Throughout the film the “heroes” constantly battle random vixens and bad CGI demons while Nefratis wonders around murdering unsuspecting girls in pajamas and horny teenagers to somehow replenish her evil energy. I really wish I could write a more in-depth plot synopsis, but unfortunately the film makers decided to let us figure everything out for ourselves. Or, perhaps it’s because I never watched the first “Death From Beyond.” After seeing this atrocity, I hope I never have to.
Everything about this film just reeks of carelessness; from the wooden acting to the lazy, half-assed fight sequences, it’s all just a big mess that only the director seems to understand. In order to validate the poor quality, director/writer/star/camera operator James Panetta throws CGI in almost every single shot, hopefully distracting us from the garage draped in bed sheets they seemed to film every scene in. Honestly, I’ve seen 5th grade plays comprised entirely of sock puppets that had better production values than this… and more convincing acting to boot.
Not everything in this movie is completely horrid, however. It is quite humorous watching characters lightly tap swords together to background music that suggests we’re viewing the raddest fight sequence ever filmed. All right, I guess that doesn’t exactly belong in the Pros section, but I did laugh a few times, albeit unintentional. And sure, some of the actresses are pretty attractive, but as soon as they open their mouths you forget entirely and just want them to shut up.
Basically, this didn’t feel like a movie. It seemed more like an excuse to film hot, scantily clad girls running around and for the director to hone his skills with CGI (the verdict is in: you suck at it). It’s bad, really bad, and serves no other purpose than to prove that DIY filmmaking can fail in epic ways. But who knows, maybe the first one is worthwhile?
Posted on October 2, 2008 in Reviews by Nick Mead
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