0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 95 minutes
Click to Expand Credits:

I can’t believe I just put down my own money to see the latest Crocodile Dundee movie. What’s worse is that I could swear I felt Paul Hogan himself sitting behind me, guffawing at my misery like some sort of bonkers Max Cady character. I feel so filthy.
Y’know, after thirteen years I figured that we moviegoers would be safe from the event of another “Crocodile Dundee” flick, but here we are. Paul Hogan returns as Mick Dundee (as if anybody was asking for him) for another fish out of water tale, except that this time he’s switching gears from his New York stomping grounds to the glamorous streets of Los Angeles. Oh shit.
Dundee’s love interest and mother to his child Sue Charlton (Linda Kozlowski from the previous films) is called to Los Angeles to fill in as bureau chief at her father’s newspaper due to the original guy kicking the bucket in a car wreck. So, being the good guy that he is, Mick decides that this should be a family trip, packing himself and their son Mickey up to join Sue on her trip from the Australian Outback to LA.
Upon their arrival in LA, Sue is instantly submerged in a bun numbing dull investigation as she discovers that it may not have been an accident that killed the guy she was sent to replace and her only clues lie within a seemingly harmless story he was researching before he kicked about a flunky movie company that keeps churning out shitty sequels that no one wants to see. Hey, that’s actually pretty funny.
Meanwhile, we have papa and son Dundee jackassing about LA like a couple of mental patients, running into cutesy situations that either finds them the butt of an unfunny joke or bestows upon them a little insight on the ways of Los Angeles life. One of these scenes has Mick screech to a halt in the middle of the 101 Freeway, nearly causing a major multiple car pile up, to rescue a skunk from the side of the road. Oh, that Mick! Another scene has both Dundees walk up on Mike Tyson as he’s meditating in the middle of the park. Mike has them both sit down and teaches them the importance of stress relief. This scene is really creepy actually. And the fun just goes on and on…. Until Mick’s escapades begin tying in with Sue’s investigation as he decides to pose as an extra on the set of the questionable film company’s new film so he can snoop around for her. But his stint as a movie extra is short lived as the production hires him as their chimp wrangler due to his uncanny way with animals. This is missed opportunity #1.
Yes, this movie has a couple of moments that could have been used as a seed to sprout a rowdy good time. The chimp seed is one of them. When briefly introduced to the fold, my heart skipped a beat in anticipation of all the possible hilarious shenanigans that Mick and the chimp could get into. This was what was going to get me through the rest of the movie. Hoorah! Unfortunately, this didn’t happen. Drats!
Missed opportunity #2 comes shortly after Mick’s buddy from the Outback comes to LA to look after Mikey while he’s busy on the movie set. The two decide to hit the town and after consuming a sickening amount of Wendy’s Burgers, they haplessly wander into a cowboy bar. You know. One of THOSE LA bars. This whole set up could have made for at least the one amusing scene in the entire film. I imagine Mick sitting on the john, working off those burgers, when a strange pecker comes poking through that mysterious hole drilled into the stall and tapping him on the cheek. Now that’s comedy! But instead, the scene is tragically terminated before it really gets started. Double drats!
No, there’s really nothing to laugh about during this film. What can I say? An old crocodile hunter wandering big city streets just isn’t funny. It wasn’t even really that goddamned funny the first couple times, so you know that this one merits not even a chuckle.
The rest of the film carries on in its miserable way, free of laughs and thrills, to find the characters becoming entangled in a smuggling operation that gets wrapped up nice and neatly of course, which leads to Mick finally proposing marriage to Sue.
As miserable as it is to sit through this movie, it still manages not be as torturous as I had been expecting and for that I am grateful. The reason being is that the filmmakers didn’t try and update the Crocodile Dundee character. There weren’t any scenes of Mick getting down to a gratuitously inserted hip-hop tune or trying to speak the lingo of the younger generation. I could have sworn they were going to try something shifty like this. They’ve done it with Disney and Warner Bros. cartoon characters. Hell, they’ve even done it to Colonel Sanders. But apparently Mick Dundee is impervious to the almighty influence of hip. Instead, we’re left with a dull old Australian guy on walkabout, which is definitely the lesser of two evils.
Another Crocodile Dundee in the near future, you ask? Well, at the end of the film, Mick gives us a glimmer of hope that this film may be his cinematic farewell to the world by announcing that he’s thinking of hanging up his crocodile hunting hat. But he quickly recants that statement to my utter disgust. All I know is that if he winds up in LA again, they need to tie his leathery beef jerky ass to the Watts Towers and be done with it.

Posted on April 24, 2001 in Reviews by

If you liked this article then you may also like the following Film Threat articles:
Popular Stories from Around the Web

Tell us what you're thinking...

Comments are governed by the Terms of Use of this Site. Click on the "Report Comment" link if you feel a comment is in violation of the Terms of Use, and the comment will be reviewed appropriately.