DAMAGED

DAMAGED
1 Stars
Year Released: 2001
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 105 minutes
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If you enjoy watching two incredible losers doing absolutely nothing for a couple of hours then “Damaged” is the epic saga you’ve been waiting your entire life for.
Mac McHiley works on Wall Street where he earns enough money to allow his coke habit to thrive, turning him into one of the most irritating characters ever to step in front of a camera. Jake McHiley, Mac’s old man, is an actor who is constantly screwing himself because he’s too prideful to take commercial work. It’s Broadway or bust for this guy. He is also haunted by memories of witnessing his mother’s suicide as a child.
The first half hour of the film doesn’t paint the prettiest of pictures as we watch father and son wallowing in their own little hells. However, unintentional as it is, there’s plenty of humor to be found in these thirty minutes as Mac’s coke fueled outbursts at his girlfriend, family and co-workers are damn funny. Not that his rage is cleverly written or performed, it’s just that the guy is such a piece of shit I can’t help but grin watching him go off. But that amusement is short lived.
So by the time we’re completely bored and fed up with both characters, they decide to take a little road trip together to pay a visit to grandpa on Father’s Day. Oooo. You know this is going to be exciting. The conversations these guys have in the car will truly test your will to stay alive. It is advised that you not have any weapons, sharp objects or pills around you if you see this film. You may just decide to end it all.
The bulk of this film is spent at grandpa’s country home. Yay! Another interesting character is thrown into the mix. One that loves to tell World War II stories. But that isn’t very fair for me to rip on grandpa like that. He talks about other things too…like how to wash a car. Believe it or not, the topic of car washing actually ignites a screaming and shouting match between between gramps and Jake. Pretty damn funny and funny is funny!
Speaking of funny, shortly after Mac and Jake arrive at grandpa’s house of thrilling tales, the excitement does kick up a few notches when, out looking for coke, Mac gets ripped on opium and gets his ass beatdown by a bunch of filthy biker bitches. This whole movie could’ve been that one scene for 105 minutes and there would be five stars up there at the top of this review. A thoroughly enjoyable scene of side-splitting fun.
Jake tries to pry the reasons for his mother’s suicide out of his dad, but his efforts are met with resistance. He also catches onto Mac’s cokehead ways. Funny thing is, Mac denies it in the face of hard evidence. He’s cruising around with a bloody tissue hanging out of his nose when Jake informs him that he found a couple lines of coke on gramps’ kitchen table. Mac’s reaction? “I don’t know what you found, or what you think you found, Dad. But it’s your imagination. It was probably some pancake mix. Aunt Jemima.” AUNT JEMIMA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m putting this down right now – the new term for cocaine will be Aunt Jemima. Classic!
After more screaming and yelling about how they’re just big losers, Mac and Jake take off back home – Jake not getting an answer to his burning question and Mac having his cover blown. Pops is onto his Aunt Jemima addiction and he isn’t very happy about it. So, I guess you can say their trip was a big waste even if it did supply some good laughs. These characters go nowhere. They start off as pathetic losers, keep truckin’ on as pathetic losers and are pathetic losers in the end. Now I feel like a loser. Oh well, maybe some Aunt Jemima will cheer me up.



Posted on January 3, 2002 in Reviews by
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