THE EROTIC MIRROR (DVD)

3 Stars
Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 117 minutes
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Good morning! Time to get up and go to work! And for me that entails watching more softcore porn from Seduction Cinema. Woo!
This little bare breasted blood boiler is about a young couple, Amy and Bill, as they partake in what’s supposed to be a little romantic getaway in Amy’s old hometown. But before they reach their destination, they make a pit-stop at an antique store where Amy is mysteriously drawn to a crappy old mirror. Actually, to say that she’s mysteriously drawn to this mirror is putting it lightly. What really happens is she uncontrollably starts pawing at herself while gazing into the mirror as smoke and glowing lights emanate from it. You start to get the feeling that Ace Frehley is gonna pop out and if you’ve been blowing on Satan’s glass trumpet, you can even hear Paul Stanley scream – “ACE WANTS TO SING ONE FOR YA!!!” Alas, no Ace Frehley, but one scantily clad Seduction Cinema superstar Darian Caine resides inside and that’s pretty cool too.
Amy convinces Bill to buy the mirror for her and they lug it back to their love hideaway for a weeklong nookie fest. But upon arriving, Amy gives Bill the cold shoulder, insisting that she get some sleep before their vacation can really begin. Actually, she just wants another peep inside that mirror, so she waits until Bill is asleep before engaging in a hot and heavy masturbation session with the mysterious woman on the other side of the glass doing the same. Sucks to be Bill!
Worried about her masturbation habits, Amy decides to blow off plans with Bill and head straight to her doctor…her sexy young female doctor…with piercings and a tattoo. See where this is going? If not, then here’s another hint – Amy drags the mirror along with her to the doctor’s office. Now you get it and you are correct, sir – Amy and her doctor get down and dirty.
Amy returns to the antique shop to have a little chat with the store owner. This is when it is divulged to her that the mysterious woman inside the mirror that turns females into uncontrollable horndogs is actually the spirit of a dead hooker. Just a little something that would’ve been nice to know before making the purchase. Anyways, the dead hooker can be brought back to the land of the living only if the mirror is in the presence of an earth-shattering orgasm. The plus behind this is that the dead hooker also has a fortune of gold…or something like that…in her possession.
So, Amy sets off to drag whomever she can find in front of the mirror for some dirty sex, all the while excluding poor old Bill from her sexual adventures. Included in these adventures are her old school friends and a tarot card reader. Ultimately, Amy, her two high school friends, the tarot card reader, her doctor and a nurse all pile into her living room before the mirror for a moaning and groaning masturbation circle which brings forth the dead hooker and finds all of these girls fucked in more than one way.
Even more than sexy, “The Erotic Mirror” is a laugh riot! All of the scenes are straight up classic porno scenarios and the dialogue is gut-bustingly deplorable. I don’t think there’s a single conversation in this entire film (except for the story of the spirit in the mirror as told by the antique shop owner who looks like Gepetto) that doesn’t go round in circles. Here’s an example –
Moving mouth 1 – “Hey, it’s so great to see you!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Wow, it’s so great to see you too!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “I didn’t think anything great would happen today, but now I’m seeing you!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Yeah, this is great!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “You know what?” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “What?” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “You should come by my place later. It’d be great to see you then too.” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Yeah that would be great!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “Great!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Great!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “Great!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Great!” ^ (hug) ^ Moving mouth 1 – “Okay, it was great seeing you!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “Great seeing you too!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “Bye!” ^ Moving mouth 2 – “See you later!” ^ Moving mouth 1 – “It’ll be great!”
That’s not actual dialogue used in the film, but it’s very similar and you get the idea.
Anyways, if you wanna good laugh while touching your bathing suit area, here it is!



Posted on September 5, 2002 in Reviews by
Buffer


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