Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 16 minutes
Click to Expand Credits:
Brian Jun had Fox Searchlab and John Heard behind him on this project and he wound up blowing it making this.
John Heard, yes, John “C.H.U.D.” Heard, stars as deadbeat superstar Raymond Burke. Raymond spends his days taking care of his ailing mother and we catch up with him just as he is out the door to pick up some tuna fish and Darvocet for her; sounds like a tasty lunch to me. Now, Raymond may sound like the model son, this is true, but from the sluggish pace he moves about the house and his unkempt appearance, it looks like he spends the remainder of his time sitting around, drinking beers, ripping farts and watching the Duke Boys on the boob tube – deadbeat superstar. Suspicions are confirmed when Raymond returns home with tuna fish and pills, and despite protests from his mother, he also brings back a six-pack of Bud, charging the whole thing to her account. But when Raymond calls out for his mother, he’s met with a deathly silence.
Cut to Raymond barely sniffling at the funeral. Then cut to Raymond playing pool and chugging beer straight from the pitcher at a bar. Later, his nephew Bradley, played by Brian Jun, meets him at his hotel room where he apologizes for missing the funeral…late for the bus or something like that. But no apologies are needed as Raymond is well on his way to being piss drunk. He’s also got a little plan for the rest of the evening. As a birthday present for Bradley (looks like it’s probably his 21st), Raymond has coaxed an attractive young woman back to the room for a little boom-boom for his nephew. A highly unlikely situation, especially for such a turd as Raymond, but here it is anyways.
Bradley ends up refusing the lewd offer, the woman gets spooked and leaves, and the two men are left to squabble at each other. Basically, Bradley calls Raymond a sloppy bitch and this gives Ray a little food for thought.
Flash-forward, a day later I guess, to Raymond and Bradley sitting in a car together. Raymond is clean shaven and peacefulness is shared between the two men. Then, cliché # 140 is trotted out.
Bradley – “Where do you wanna go?”
Raymond – “I don’t know. We’ll just figure that out on the road.”
I think I just visited an alternate universe where John Heard stars in filmed acting class exercises.
Posted on December 6, 2002 in Reviews by Eric Campos
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