THE MILKMAN

0.5 Stars
Year Released: 2011
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 5 minutes
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“The Milkman” is one of the worst short films I have ever seen. But, I’m not sure that’s a good thing or a bag thing. It all depends the awareness of filmmaker, Patrick G. Holmes, who seems to have used an old cell phone to create this tale of terror. The plot is simple: a deranged milkman is on the loose at a… hospital? The description of the film says it takes places at an asylum, but I see no evidence of this – besides the costume rental store nurse’s uniform. The two people that work there are sure in for it!

The film starts with an amazing warning that we are watching a true story (a period piece, even!) but that no matter how scared we get, we should remind ourselves “it’s just a movie.” Two actors who memorized the script thirty seconds ago then reenact a tryst gone wrong as The Milkman cuts up the man, and chases the woman back into the hospital. And that’s it, friends. That’s the movie.

At five minutes, this high school film class project really captures what is great about horror: plot is unnecessary, the worse the acting the better, oppressive (read: nighttime) lighting, and the suggestion of gore. “The Milkman” has it all, and not much more. And I totally recommend it.

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Posted on August 22, 2011 in Reviews by
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