PIRATES VS. NINJAS

2 Stars
Year Released: 2011
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 5 minutes
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Now, wait a second. Didn’t I already see this match up on Spike TV’s “Deadliest Warrior”? Or was that Ninjas vs. Apache? At any rate, the world has been waiting on pins and needles to see who would win in a fight: pirates or ninjas?!

Both are very popular Halloween costumes. Both have hipster love. Both have movie franchises. So, which one is it? I guess you’ll have to watch Robert Baldwin’s “Pirates vs. Ninjas” to find out. Or just sit around with your nerd friends and discuss it endlessly.

A pirate in search of not-so-buried treasure washes up onto a beach with a map and a Jack Sparrow outfit. Little does he know, lurking in the shadows, a ninja waits with an unlimited supply of throwing stars. I have no idea if the film is historically or physically accurate. Who cares? The fight choreography is quick and fun, complete with lots of weapons and pirate-talk.

The film’s main downfall (besides its complete lack of substance) is the aforementioned “Deadliest Warrior.” We have seen this production style before. We’ve seen the minimal dialogue and the cliché costumes, and even heard the heavy metal score. Every episode of “Deadliest Warrior” includes a short film exactly like this. So, if Baldwin made this film in an attempt to work for that program, good for him. I think he’s in. If he made it as an original, unique project, he failed.

This film was submitted for review through our Submission for Review system. If you have a film you’d like us to see, and we aren’t already looking into it on our own, you too can utilize this service.



Posted on August 22, 2011 in Reviews by
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