3.5 Stars
Year Released: 2002
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 36 minutes
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Sometimes you appreciate certain movies for all the wrong reasons. The classic skin flicks of the 80s are a prime example. “Malibu Express,” “H.O.T.S,” “Taking It Off,” they all have the artistic brilliance of a “Dorf On Golf” video. But watching them with a couple of brews and some greasy carry out can be two hours of sheer bliss. “Stationery Games” is that movie, regardless if the filmmaker intended it to be or not.
Even its opening has all the charm of old independent distributors long gone. A harmonious voice says “Forever In Your Mind” as the distributor’s logo, Forever Entertainment, whips across the screen. It’s almost like those second-rate action films where the opening song MUST have the title of the film in it’s lyrics; “It’s just another … TEQUILA SUNRISE,” ‘He’s just … ACTION JACKSON,” “We got… BIG TROUBLE, IN LITTLE CHINA.”
As for “Stationery Games,” our so called hero, Reginald, hangs at the local hot spot, drawing one of the many babes on the dance floor (In my swinging single days, I could recall many nights at the hottest dance club with my sketch pad and number #2 pencil, drawing my luscious prey). He scopes out one honey named Aileen and the two quickly head back to his place for a classic “Skinemax” romp behind closed doors.
But like with most hot chicks in these flicks, trouble always seems to tag along with them. Threatening letters are left on the doorstep and Reginald’s beefy bodyguard thinks she has something to do with it. After some fussing and a feuding, Aileen decides they need to take a little break… at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade! Now everyone say with me in a sexy deep voice, “I could go for some Green Beer!” I’m not kidding, that’s what buff boy Reg says!
To get to the point, she’s stolen ten million dollars and some secret documents and is on the lamb. Soon, her brother comes to Reg’s place and after some sneaky soundtrack cues and a little tussle, her brother tells her that Reg is up to no good! And so spins the web of suspense.
What’s wonderful about “Stationery Games” is that it plays like a cross between classic Telemundo soap operas and the late night erotic films of the 80s. The dialogue is full of sexy foreplay
and “repetitive surprise” lines (I’m with the C.I.A. You’re with the C.I.A.? Yes, the C.I.A.) and its steamy sex scenes are played with just a slight bit of camp… regardless if it was all done intentionally.
The cast looks like an ensemble of Golds Gym members working for their SAG card. The funny thing is that they are all great to watch and give outstanding performances for such a low budget production. Whatever the reason, all are played in classic camp form, be it purposefully done or not.
I doubt if this is what the director was going for in “Stationery Games.” It seems to take itself too seriously; therefore I believe he WANTED to make an erotic thriller rather than some semi-sexy syndicated soap opera. Either way, it made me long for the days of temptresses Sybil Danning packing heat on those late night cable flicks long gone. God bless you, “Stationery Games.”

Posted on December 25, 2002 in Reviews by

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