SEX, DRUGS & NATALIE PORTMAN (DRUGS)

4 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 56 minutes
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This may make some Matrix fans indignant, but….fuck the red and blue pills!! How about a pill that allows you sex anytime you want it and with someone you’ve always wanted to do it with? That’s what director Chad Peter comes up with in “Drugs”, the second part of his “Sex, Drugs & Natalie Portman” trilogy.
This specific pill is called lyctominine, or more commonly, Meatbeats. We are introduced to this through Ashley (Shayna Lanzo), who arrives in Colorado for an unknown purpose and right off the bat; Chad Peter did the right thing because this is the one part of the story (her walking through the airport and outside) that’s actually the calmest part of the whole thing, which spirals into quite a surreal trip later on. Anyway, a friend of Ashley’s (Chris Hanel) introduced her to this drug back in 1994 and her way of living has not been the same since. According to Ashley, Meatbeats have been made more specific over the years. All that’s needed is a sample of your DNA, a signed release form and two weeks later, a “recipe” gets shipped right to your door. There are the occasional people or celebrities who “do everything in their power to keep these recipes off the black market, but eventually, everyone’s recipe is found sooner or later”. Through this explanation, there’s a surprise appearance by someone who had his own experience with one of these pills.
The recipe Ashley wants is that of Natalie Portman and she has a bet with Mark (Curtis Ellzey), who’s after the same thing. The bet goes like this: Whoever gets the “Portman pill” first is the winner and the loser has to suffer through a Jar-Jar Binks pill. Now, before any eyebrows are raised over the thought of a Jar-Jar pill, logic need not check in here because that’s not the point of this entire journey. All that really needs to be known is that Meatbeats work.
The main part of this story takes place with Ashley being interrogated by two guys – one who’s deep-voiced (Jeff Cowan) and Silent Bob’s distant cousin, Silent Interrogator (Chad Peter). And not surprisingly, Silent Interrogator does get a sentence in later on. Why is she being interrogated and who are these two guys? Are they part of some sort of agency? You’ll have to find out.
Judging from what has resulted here, time does improve a person as a better-written script is presented here along with great, incisive performances that are needed to make a film like this work. Sex may have not worked successfully, but “Drugs” does (Don’t take that literally, kids!)
The final part of the trilogy, “Natalie Portman” will begin filming sometime in 2004 and “Drugs” shows what potential the final part has, along with being something very interesting. So, if you’re looking for something to twist and pull your mind like a taffy machine, click and download!



Posted on June 28, 2003 in Reviews by
Buffer


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