PINK FIVE

5 Stars
Year Released: 2003
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 4 minutes
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(Warning: The following review may contain instances of Valley Girl-speak and may cause seizures or other unknown side effects upon those that are not accustomed to excessive amounts of that kind of talk. You’ve been warned and it’s not being repeated.)
So like, there’s this chick named Stacy played by this hottie, Amy Earhart, who can make certain parts go BOING!!! And like, she’s in that same battle that Luke is in. Do you remember? It’s the one where he has to destroy that big Death Star thingie. Anyway, that chick Stacy is in this battle and she’s like, confused about the whole thing and has like no clue as to what she’s supposed to be doing and stuff.
Like, she spends a little time talking to the robot aboard her jet and stuff and has a chat on her phone with Han Solo and says that he’s like majorly crushing on her and….AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
JEEZ!!! I was initially going to write the entire review like you just read and had 3 paragraphs written, but there’s only so much of that you can take before you start going batty. Now I understand how “Valley Girl” screenwriters Wayne Crawford and Andrew Lane might have felt. “If I have to write ONE MORE “y’ know”, I’m not sure what the hell I’m gonna do, but it ain’t gonna be cheerful or friendly; I’ll tell you that right now.” Or maybe not. Hell, I’m just guessing here.
“Pink Five” is a superb fan film. The special effects rock, which is important with explosions and lasers fired all around Stacy. Amy Earhart kicks major ass in her Valley Girl persona and if Stacy was actually the Rebel Force’s only hope instead of Luke, they might as well say bye-bye to everything they stood for because the Empire would take over in an instant. I was just grateful to see that the path described was not taken, story-wise. That was my major fear before seeing this one, and having Stacy develop on her own with reaction to what’s going on around her, works much better.
The most important element needed to make “Pink Five” work was TIME, and from what’s here, Trey Stokes and Amy Earhart took plenty of it with the result of how well-crafted and well-timed it all is. “Pink Five” should be seen by as many of you out there as possible. You’re still reading this?! What in holy hell are you waiting for??!!!??



Posted on July 20, 2003 in Reviews by
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