1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 19 minutes
Click to Expand Credits:

Let’s see here. What could “LBC” stand for? I got it! Lotsa Boring Crap! Yes, sounds harsh, I know…but YOU didn’t have to watch this tedious, nonsensical, self-indulgent drivel. Here’s what we got: “Storyline” — and I use that term very loosely — #1 involves a three-way between Miller (Phil Hilton), his creepy insectoid submissive buddy Laslo (Ryoga Vee) and an attractive hooker Victoria (Kisa Watson). Oh, don’t get your hopes up, you horny dogs, because the entire session consists of Laslo standing on his head eating the forbidden orange slices that Victoria feeds him as she lounges, fully clothed, on the bed while Miller interviews her on his camcorder. “Huh?” you say? I repeat: Lotsa Boring Crap.

Meanwhile in Storyline #2, Jimmy (Santiago Torres), an obsessive stalker tries to work up the courage to approach Georgia (Carly Heath) the plain-Jane woman of his dreams. When he learns that Laslo has slipped Victoria a mickey and will videotape anyone who has sex with her, Jimmy goes to check it out…only to hastily retreat and conquer his fears by kidnapping Georgia.

Now, if none of this is making any sense to you, it’s because, well, this little turkey from director Raymond Baeza doesn’t make any sense. Not only that, but it looks terrible and sounds worse. Supposedly filled with cinematic in-jokes and movie references, at least according to the sleeve, “LBC 2″ (was there an “LBC 1?”) is instead full of one and only one thing: Lotsa Boring Crap.

Posted on March 3, 2004 in Reviews by

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