LADY TERMINATOR

4 Stars
Year Released: 1988
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 82 minutes
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Alternatively known as “Nasty Hunter” and “Revenge of the South Seas Queen”, “Lady Terminator” is a film so attrocious it blasts right past “so bad it’s good” back to just plain “good”. You’ve got it all: terrible dubbing, acting and writing; ceaseless use of machine gun fire to the point where “overkill” doesn’t even apply anymore and a plot so brain bogglingly non-sensical it skirts genius. Let’s put it this way, when you see that the lead female is also the make-up artist, you know a movie’s got to be something special.

Produced in Indonesia where there seems to be a whole industry built on ripping off American action movies in even more outlandishly violent fashion, “Lady Terminator” still manages to stand out for sheer strangeness. An awkward mix of Asian mythology and American style nihilistic action, it opens with someone who must be the South Seas Queen copulating with some poor shlub, only to kill him by biting off his penis… with her vagina! Apparently this is quite a common occurance, until she finally beds a man who pulls a snake from her “pleasure spot”, turns it into a knife and stabs her with it. This apparently makes her angry and she curses the man’s family before returning to the sea (although it is not really clear why).

Cut to a hundred years later and a vapid “anthropologist” (her speeches to this effect are particularly guffah worthy) who becomes possessed by the Queen’s spirit (on a set that pretty much defines “budget”). Upon emerging from the sea (naked except for her panties?!) she embarks on a path of destruction which includes repeatedly shooting up a mall and chasing after a would be pop star. The “hero” through all this is an American cop who doesn’t like hot dogs (just see it) who later calls in his ex-paratrooper buddies all the way from the US to help him. This is particularly great since it seems we are meant to believe that they managed to cross the Pacific ocean in 30 minutes in a helicopter with a panzer tank made of plywood.

Every line in this movie will have you forrowing your brow and mouthing “what?!” It also features the definition of “sweet mullet” in the character of Snake, one of the cop’s buddies. He’s a psychotic surfer dude with all the best lines and will likely be your favorite character too. There’s no way I can possibly get across how unlike anything else you will see this movie is, you really just need to see it for yourself. And quick.



Posted on October 30, 2004 in Reviews by
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