SHELTER: A MONSTER MOVIE

2 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 85 minutes
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Something big is going down. Call it Armageddon, the apocalypse, nuclear fallout, the Wrath of God, or a new record release from Don Johnson – the shit’s hit the fan and the world is on fire. If there were ever a time to duck and cover, that time is now. And that’s what our “heroes” do for the 85-minute running time of “Shelter: A Monster Movie”, all the while running from zombies and this titular monster. Sound exciting? It isn’t.

So the movie opens with the world going to hell thanks to some handy dandy CG effects that thankfully aren’t overused. Seven strangers take refuge inside some sort of government complex where they argue amongst themselves about what their plan for survival should be until, 40 minutes later, the zombies enter the picture. What does this mean for the viewer? Well, it means that you have to get about halfway into the movie before anything really interesting starts happening. Before that, you have these seven characters standing in a hallway of what looks like a public storage facility, bitching and moaning at one another. The characters aren’t really developed during this time, you just get to know that they’re angry and scared – well, wouldn’t you be? So when things finally get rolling, you don’t care as much about them as you could’ve.

But wait, there’s more. Once the zombies are escaped, it’s time for our heroes to fend off this monster we’ve been hearing about in the title of this movie. And the monster turns out to be…a glowing ball of energy…or some such bullshit.

Ugh!

When you’re working with a low budget, you make do with what you have…but you should also have the ability to make wise decisions. Even a guy in a Viking helmet wrapped in the funny papers of the New York Times would’ve been more interesting…and scary…than a flying CG blob. Folks expecting a monster movie are gonna be pissed.

Unfortunately, points of interest here are slim. It’s a nice try, but I don’t see many people appreciating weak characters wandering around empty hallways for an hour and twenty and it takes more than some jump cuts, spooky music, screaming, yelling and occasionally throwing some blood on the walls to grab a person’s attention and hold it. Instead of feeling the urgency of the situation here, you feel the urge to sleep.



Posted on December 6, 2004 in Reviews by
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