1.5 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 98 minutes
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The first thing you’ll notice about “Pizza the Movie” is that the character of Barry (Jason Muzie) is the kind of guy you can only find in movies. He doesn’t exist in real life, but for some reason writers tend to use people like him as comedy relief. You know the character. You’ve seen him before. He seems like he suffered a head injury in some kind of car accident, which left him damaged, but not nearly damaged enough. He says stupid things and exaggerates all his movements, and is just kind of a goofy idiot with occasional moments of insight. The character never works in any movie, and it definitely doesn’t work here. Of course, the other characters don’t really work, either, as they are saddled with horrible dialogue written by someone who obviously thinks he has an ear for it.

All this criticism is tempered with some praise, however. There are elements of this story that are kind of funny, and the film’s conclusion, which isn’t handled very well, is never apparent. Credit must be given to writer/director Donald Gregory for that, even though the story is still pretty standard.

Kevin (Craig Wisniewski) pines for a girl he had a crush on in high school, and now she’s back in town and he wants to ask her out.
Unfortunately, he gets tongue tied when he tries to talk to her (a standard plot device in romantic comedies). His friend Barry’s solution? Become a pizza delivery guy and earn enough money to take her to a nice restaurant. (Actually, Barry’s idea is far more complicated than that and is filled with general lunacy, but that’s the basic version.) Kevin does this and then meets all kinds of strange people on his route and learns a thing or two about life and love along the way. Like you didn’t see that coming.

This failure of a movie does have a few funny moments that offer much-needed relief from the stupidity, but they aren’t enough to save it. Avoid this like a restaurant staffed by lepers.

Posted on February 25, 2005 in Reviews by

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