1 Stars
Year Released: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 33 minutes
Click to Expand Credits:

“The Jizz Mopper” is supposed to be “a raunchy new comedy that oozes with laughter, among other things.” If you think lingering shots of people looking at blow-up dolls and whatnot is raunchy, then you’ve come to the right place. And if you think dripping mayo and diarrhea jokes are the height of comedy, consider this for your next Oscar nomination. Unfortunately, anyone who has graduated from the third grade is going to have a hard time honestly describing this movie as “funny.” A waste of time? Definitely. Funny? Not even close.

The story, if one can call it that, concerns a guy (Randy Cook) who is called into his job on his day off. He works at a porno store, and part of his duties involve mopping out the booths where various men masturbate. A man who ejaculates massive amounts of semen (Michael Johnson) stops by, and hilarity is supposed to ensue. (During the credits, which feature some behind-the-scenes moments, Johnson talks about going home to his daughter after his scenes. I’m sure she’ll be quite proud of her dad after watching this film.)

For a movie that bills itself as going “where no comedy has gone
before,” this falls quite short of its own hype. The “new meaning” given to “politics” and “religion” is really stuff that has been done before in places like “Mad” and “Cracked.” This isn’t cutting edge, and it sure as hell isn’t funny. It’s more like a complete and utter failure committed to DVD and should be avoided like the men’s bathroom in a porno theatre.

Posted on April 8, 2005 in Reviews by

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